Incredible Woman #47 - Shannon Stahura. Family and Beauty Secrets...

KARA: "Tell us about your family. What is one thing that each one of them has taught you that makes you a better person?"

SHANNON: "My husband and I are celebrating our 22nd anniversary in August. We have 4 children: Samantha 18, Seth 17, Sadie 13, and Shad 10. My husband and I met on a blind date. He is a salesman and probably the best one in the world. His first big sale was convincing my dad to let him marry me. My dad all but forbid the marriage. Rob had no money, no car, and had barely started college. He is a the type of man who has overcome incredible odds throughout his life. This holds true for our marriage as well. It has been a struggle for us, but we have committed and covenanted and worked extremely hard to be successful at marriage. I don't want to say we are experts, but we have been to various marriage counselors and therapy programs during the last 22 years and we have learned a lot of valuable tools to help us improve our relationship. And throughout that time many couples have come to us for help and advice. I am a huge advocate for marriage counseling. I believe good counselors help good marriages become great. Everyone needs instruction on first how to be their best self, which in turn will help them be the best companion they can. The first counselor we worked with happened to be one who worked with some of the apostles and their wives. The first time we sat down with him he shared this...

He reviewed Heavenly Father's plan for his children. That was for us all to come down to this earth and be tried and tested in order to prove ourselves worthy to return and live with him someday. The trials had to have the power to purify us, to purge us of our imperfections. He explained, just like a piece of coal must go through thousands of years of extreme heat and pressure before it becomes a diamond, so the lord had to create a situation that would cause us the greatest heat and pressure to help us become "diamond-like" so we could return to Him someday. The plan to accomplish this was to bring a man and a woman together! What better way to create immense heat and pressure! The lord definitely knows what he is doing.

My husband grew up with 13 siblings raised by a single mom and they had nothing but each other. He teaches me to persevere no matter how bad things seem. To be strong and courageous, to not care about what other people think about me and to not make judgments on other people.

My daughter Sam is amazing. She has always been the type to have everything done without even being asked. She is driven and disciplined at whatever she undertakes. She teaches me to do the same. Whenever I start to slack off she will tell me about something she accomplished or she is working on and I am motivated to get back on track.

I love to be around Seth. He has a great sense of humor. He makes me laugh. I love his impersonations. He teaches me how to deal with my emotions in a healthy way. When we are in a heated discussion, he will remind me not to raise my voice or he will suggest that we take a break and come back together and talk later. It is a wonderful thing as a parent when they re-teach you the things you have taught them.

Sadie is so easy-going and chill. She rarely gets angry at anyone. She teaches me to stop the craziness, take a break, relax and watch tv or do a craft. She pulls me out of the race of this crazy life and reminds me what its all about.

Shad is my comforter. He is always looking out for me. If I am down or having a hard day he will come put his arm around me and ask me if I'm ok, or if I need anything. He will remind me I probably need to pray or just let my bad feelings go.

My mom also teaches me to slow down. I am constantly going and doing. Most of it seems necessary and productive. But my mom reminds me to stop and take pleasure in the little things. She taught me this each time she came to stay with my after I had my babies. I would be rushing around being the busy mom and she would notice all of these amazing miracles happening with the baby as they were growing and changing each day. She is the one who pointed out the tiny hands and fingers or whatever changes had occurred. I was too involved in cleaning or changing or feeding to take time to notice. And I guess I'm a slow learner because 18 years later she is still teaching me the same thing only now they aren't babies, but still there are many details about each child to notice.

My favorite thing in the world to do is to just be with everyone in the same room laughing and playing games. And then, if I'm really lucky, I love to go on bike rides with our whole family and have a picnic!"


KARA: "What are your beauty secrets? What makes you happy and healthy?"

SHANNON: "As for my beauty secrets I have one, and this was also something I learned in battling depression. Do Self Care. As women, wives and mothers we tend to be constantly sacrificing and giving up for everyone else. We are usually last on the list and sometimes not acknowledged at all. We almost think ourselves selfish if we do anything for ourselves. But, you've probably heard the saying when you fly on an airplane. "Put your mask on first before helping someone else". If we don't take care of ourselves, we likely won't have strength to take care of everyone else. I believe in taking off, whether it is a walk around the block or a trip to Maui. Whatever the budget allows. Maybe its a manicure, makeover, massage or a moment to read a book in a chair. Take time to do what you want. This makes me a better wife, mom, and a better me."

Thanks to Shannon for this wonderful interview. I've known Shannon for a long time, but I still learned so much from this interview. She is even more amazing than I thought! I hope you've learned at least one or two things that you can apply to your own incredible life! Thanks, Shannon! Shannon's full interview will be up on the blog through Sunday afternoon.

I once again, need to ask for your help in finding Incredible Women to interview. I know some of you have suggested women, and if I haven't interviewed them, it's probably because I can't get ahold of them. I try to interview all of the women you nominate. If there is someone you'd like us to know - please email at kara.incrediblewomen(at)gmail(dot)com. Give me their email address so that I can get ahold of them, and also some information on them - what you loved about them. I look forward to getting your nominations. Have a great weekend!

Incredible Woman #47 - Shannon Stahura. Traveler and Caregiver...

KARA: "Have you done a lot of traveling? Where is your favorite place for vacation with your family? What about with your husband? What one place do you want to visit someday?"

SHANNON: "I don't think I travel a lot. If you asked my husband he would say otherwise. I visit my sister in Florida, my brother in Kentucky and whenever I can I enjoy a week in Maui. We have a unique situation. My husband hates to travel. He hates to fly, drive, take a bus and especially not take a train. So we have learned to work around this. I am consequently looking for fun and exciting vacation destinations that are close to home. Over the years, hands down, our favorite spots are Zions Ponderosa Ranch in Mt. Carmel Utah. I actually found out about it in the Family Fun Magazine. It is an all inclusive wilderness resort. You stay in cabins and go on different activities all day such as 4 wheeling, paintball, repelling, archery, shooting range, hiking, swimming, horseback riding, etc. All the meals are provided. And there is a kids' camp for the kids 3-12. There is always some type of fun evening activity such as a barn dance, skit night , or bon fire. Second, we love Aspen Grove Family Camp in Sundance, Utah. It is a great way to enjoy the outdoors while sleeping in the luxury of a bed, spend time with your kids, get alone time with your husband and do amazing fun activities. Our family spends hours in the art shack painting ceramics. Finally, we love to go on boating weekends at Pineview Resevoir in Ogden Utah. Lakeside resort properties is an amazing condominium complex built for the Olympics right on the lake and it is reasonably priced with 5 star amenities."


KARA: "You are a caregiver for your mother right now while she is going through treatments for breast cancer. What are the challenges in doing this? What are the blessings you’ve received as you’ve helped her? Have you learned anything new about your mother?"

SHANNON: "For the last 22 years I have lived 1600 miles away from my mom. We have seen each other at least once a year. But she has not been able to attend any of our families special events such as baptisms, birthdays, etc. It is a blessing to have her in our home. It is exciting for me to have my kids interact with her on a daily basis. It is like having your best friend living with you. Prior to her cancer, we went to lunch everyday and I would talk nonstop and she would just listen. It was difficult when she got cancer. She had just sold her home and all her possessions and moved here from Kentucky and was living with us. She put her papers in to go on an LDS mission and in the process she got the results back from her physicals and the mammogram showed she had a mass in her right breast. It was shocking! And things just got worse from there. I know I didn't understand what she was going through. All I knew to do was just be there for her. Many of the nurses who took care of her had decided to pursue their careers because someone close to them had suffered or died from cancer and they wanted to give back. Their way of giving back was inspiring to me. It has also been a blessing for my children to be involved in helping care for my mom. I am away most of the day at school and my youngest daughter and son check on her and help prepare her meals. My oldest son and daughter have both had the opportunity to take my mom to chemotherapy and help care for her needs there for the day. It has helped us all put things in perspective and take a break from our hectic frivolous lives and take time for Grandma. I feel like my mom has pioneered the cancer experience in our family. She was the first and she probably won't be the last to deal with this in our family, but at least having gone through this with her. I am not afraid. I know what to expect and I know it is something I could get through. My mom is my example. We have laughed and we have cried. And when we talk she shares her stories of how she makes it through each day and she inspires me.

One special thing as her caregiver is flowers bring her such great joy. I knew that she would not have the strength to walk the gardens and check on the flowers and vegetables. So prior to her chemotherapy treatments, we created several pots of flowers and hanging baskets all within the view of her bedroom. So on the days she can't get out of bed she can look out her window and see an amazing view of flowers everywhere. And on the days when she can, she does manage to walk outside her door and she has a chair where she sits in the shade and enjoys the beauty of all the flowering blossoms."

Don't forget to check back tomorrow for the last day of Shannon's interview - we'll learn about her family, and her beauty secrets (I know you won't want to miss that!).

Incredible Woman #47 - Shannon Stahura. Atonement, and Wordless Wednesday

As I was posting the questions for yesterday, apparently I missed part of Shannon's answer about trials. I'm sorry about that - here is the rest of the answer (Shannon mentioned that her success in overcoming depression was two-fold. This is the 2nd "fold")...

SHANNON: "The second part was realizing the power of the atonement of Jesus Christ. I learned how to use the power of the Atonement on a daily basis to strengthen me and help carry my burden. It was difficult. It did not happen overnight. There were setbacks. Some days it seemed too hard. It seemed like it would be easier to wallow in my misery. But, somehow I got the strength to move forward. This trial, like all trials, has been one of my greatest blessings. It was through this trial that I learned who I was, my greatness and what I am capable of when I choose to turn to the Savior. Prior to this I had learned of the healing power of Jesus Christ, I knew he was there. And every Sunday I repented of my sins and recommitted myself to following Him. But through this trial I learned how to make him a constant part of my daily life. Calling on him moment by moment, unceasingly to help me carry my burdens.

For the rest of this part of the interview, I'd like to share some pictures of Shannon's family. We'll call this part "Wordless Wednesday"...









I just LOVE that last picture! Join us again tomorrow for 2 more questions/answers from Shannon.

Incredible Woman #47 - Shannon Stahura. Good Nutrition and the Trial of Depression...

KARA: "I admire that you are very knowledgeable about nutrition and exercise – talk to us about the importance of that in your life."

SHANNON: Exercise and eating healthy became an important part of my life during my first pregnancy. Since then I have worked out with numerous trainers and taken classes on nutrition and tried to take good care of my body. I must admit that my first motivation was quite vain. I wanted to look good. But the more I learned, the more my motivation changed to taking care of my body because I had a greater love and appreciation for my body and the miracle that it is. I also learned that the way I treat my body now will determine my quality of life as I age. The thought of spending the last 20-25 years of my life immobile or full of disabilities was not pleasing. I knew, just like everything else, you have to plan for the future. If I wanted to be healthy and functioning well in my old age, the preparation started now. Also, just like everyone else, I recognized that when I ate healthy and exercised I had more energy, I just felt better. Some of the main things I try to do are... exercise daily rotating between cardio and weights or yoga, drink lots of water, eat fruits and veggies daily, try not to eat carbs after 5:00 and no soda."

I have to stop here for a second and comment on something Shannon said - she just talked about not drinking soda. I was a big soda drinker until about 6 months ago. You know how some people just live for Diet Coke? Well, that was me - except I liked the "hard" stuff - no yucky Diet Coke for me - only Regular Coke would do! I used the excuse that Coke took away my headaches. It was my "drug" of choice. Because my family also liked soda, we had it all the time. All. The. Time. In December of last year, I was trying to figure out some things I could do to get more healthy, and decided to cut out soda from my diet. Two of my boys agreed to do this with me - Alex, because he was going into training for football (and there is NO soda in football!), and Matthew, probably because he just wanted to do something with Mom and big brother, Alex. So, for the last 7 months not one sip of soda has passed our lips. The result? Well, I can say that I haven't lost weight - which is REALLY surprising to me, BUT I feel so much better. I don't get headaches often anymore. And I drink a lot more water, which is very healthy. It's made making more healthy choices much easier. Alex, of course, is much stronger - he joined the track team at school - trained hard - and made it through the first few football practices without throwing up (something that not all the players were able to do! Haha!). But, I have to tell you that it's made the biggest different for Matthew. He has had a "chubby" problem six he was 6 years old. It's been so hard for him, because none of his siblings are even close to chubby. It's affected his self-esteem, and just plain made him miserable. He has lost a major amount of weight. This kid has shot up in height and trimmed down like you wouldn't believe! One day, not long ago, I heard him say... "Sometimes I wish I could have a soda. But then I think about how good I feel, and I don't want one." Wow. Seriously... I wish I would have challenged all of us sooner - if for no other reason than to help Matthew. Ok, sorry about that little side trip, but I'm so happy with the results of doing that one little thing, that I wanted to share it with you. I've often, since I started interviewing women for this blog, tried to implement something that I've learned in the interviews. I think it's made me a better ME! Back to the interview...


KARA: "Can you talk about your trials and how you were able to get through those trials? What lessons did you learn from your trials?"

SHANNON: "Like everyone I have had my share of trials. I experienced a 5 year bout with depression. I had the usual symptoms. I did not want to get out of bed. I would sleep for days. I had no desire to do anything, even those things that used to bring me joy. When I was awake I was usually crying. I wanted to be alone. I found no joy in life. I did not want to be on this earth any longer. It was a huge burden to talk on the phone or answer the door (which I did not) or even go out to lunch or out with my husband. I didn't want to be around anyone and avoided everyone. Everything was a burden. All I could do was sleep. I tried medication for a few months and had no success. My success in overcoming this monster was two fold. I started to attend the Institute of Healing Arts. This is a place where I participated in emotional release therapy. I learned that depression was the result of being stuck in your anger. Even anger you don't know you have. When we experience various situations throughout our life and hold onto anger or resentment without even realizing it, we can become paralyzed. Eventually our body physically cannot stuff anymore emotion and everything comes to a standstill. This is due in part to all of our energy going toward keeping our feelings inside and then we have no energy left to propel us forward. Consequently, we become stuck. We can't move forward. Once I realized what the problem was I knew it was something I had the ability to overcome."

I just want to thank Shannon about talking so openly about depression. I think that it is something that is more common than we understand. Hopefully her words will help someone who reads this. Stop by again tomorrow as we continue our interview.

Incredible Woman #47 - Shannon Stahura. Self and Nursing...

This week I'm really pleased to share my interview with a friend of mine - Shannon Stahura. She is actually my "back door" neighbor. In the church I belong to - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - we have a womens organization. There is a program called Visiting Teaching, where you are assigned a partner, and the two of you go to visit a few other ladies in your area. Shannon is one of my visiting teachers. She really helped me alot while I was going through cancer treatments. She is a kind, spiritual person, and I greatly admire her. She doesn't really talk alot about herself, so even though I've known her for several years, I don't really KNOW her... ENJOY!!

KARA: "Tell us about yourself (i.e. hobbies, talents, likes, dislikes, etc.). What makes you an incredible woman?"

SHANNON: "I love golfing. It is a great way to spend time with my boys. It takes us out of the mother/son scenario and makes it just friends playing a fun game. It also gets me out in nature, otherwise I might not take the time to enjoy. Also, it is a great activity to share with my husband and helps us plan for retirement so we know we will have something to do.

I also love gardening. I haven't been doing it very long. My mom is a floral designer and flowers are her passion. Whenever I would visit her in KY, the first thing she would do when she woke up was go outside and walk her garden and check her pots on her deck and water them. I would watch her and I thought I would never do that, and here I am. I look forward to every spring planning what to plant. And yes, every morning the first thing I do is go outside and walk the gardens and check on how everyone is doing. I love seeing the progress. It is like watching a miracle in action. I love smelling the dirt and feeling it between my fingers. Whenever life gets overwhelming and I seemed to be pulled in a million different directions that means I need to get "grounded", so I get to the temple to be grounded spiritually, and then to the garden for physical grounding.

I also love biking. I love to go on big biking adventures like the ULCER or ride Provo canyon. My favorite ride is probably a summertime lunch ride to Subway with my kids.

I also enjoy cooking. My sister studied cooking in the South of France and has taught me a lot, especially about growing herbs and cooking with them. Also, my sister-in-law is an amazing cook and crafter, and she has also taught me a lot.

Finally I enjoy acting and writing. I have had a few articles published in the Ensign and also a few rejected. And I had the opportunity to play a supporting role in my first movie which comes out this fall. It is an independent film produced locally called "Elizabeth's Gift."

KARA: "You’ve recently gone back to school to study nursing, right? How did you make the decision to do that? What influenced you toward this field of study? What do you hope to do when you finish school?"

SHANNON: "This past spring I decided to go back to school to get a nursing degree. I graduated from BYU in communications 20 years ago. I never had a desire to pursue nursing until just recently. All 4 of my children are in school now and my oldest just graduated from High School. They are all movers and shakers and seem to be gone all the time. It is hard to make the adjustment from having them all around to being out and about. Although they aren't around as much I still have that desire to nurture and take care. I found myself with a lot of time on my hands that got filled with endless errands. I needed something more. Then my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and moved in with me. I found myself in the hospital a lot visiting with nurses. They all seemed to love what they do. I spent a lot of time questioning them and was so impressed with their love of their work. And I thought what better way to spend my time than to be in constant service. Then I just decided to go for it. I am in the process of completing my prereqs at UVU and then I am applying to the University of Utah's BSN program in January."

We'll have two more questions/answers from the interview with Shannon each day this week - take a minute to stop by each day and learn about Shannon.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

UNDER CONSTRUCTION tonight - join me tomorrow for the start of my interview with Shannon Stahura.