Thank You Janie!

Thanks goes to Janie for sharing herself with us. Before I did this interview, here's what I knew about Janie: Her son, Brandon, died a few years ago. (My son, Grant, did a few Muscular Dystrophy walks with Brandon - one of the Squire's Squadron!) Her husband owns a few Big-O tires franchises. (My car has undergone surgery there.) She is the Relief Society President in my ward. (President of the women's organization in our church - a big job!) She had breast cancer a year before I did. (She was such a tremendous help to me as I fought the beast.) I've learned many more things about Janie throughout this week. Here are just a few things I've learned: Her husband doesn't like cheese and butter - just like mine! She walks ALOT! She's met many famous people. She served at the MTC (something I've always wanted to do!) She loves to read - just like me! Hey, we should be BFFs!

But seriously, I've learned some great lessons from Jamie. She is kind and funny. She never seems to forget what you are going through, and is always there to help. Amazing. Like you, I've been taught this week, too... Sacrifice! Invest your time and energy if you want to succeed! There is always a light at the end of the tunnel! Help and serve others! Take one day at a time throughout your trials! Don't judge others! Enjoy each day of your life! I could go on and on. Thank you so much, Janie, for being so open and talking about yourself. My life has been enriched by getting to know you.

If anyone wants to contact Janie to ask additional questions, or get advice, email me at kara.incrediblewomen(at)gmail.com. I'll be happy to forward any questions to her. If you'd like to review all of Janie's "favorites" and "advice" from the sidebar, just go to Archives and click on each label, and that will take you to those separate pages.

This blog will be changing today and tomorrow, and we'll be featuring a new Incredible Woman on Monday. If you want to suggest some of the women you know to be featured on Incredible Women, shoot me an email. Please leave email addresses or phone numbers so that I can get in touch with the women you suggest.

Until next week... Take care.

Incredible Woman #1 - Janie Squire. Friday's questions

Kara: "Do you think you've been successful as a mom? You have a beautiful daughter - what advice would you give her about life?"
Janie: "I feel like I have been a successful mom. I feel that I have helped raise my kids in a manner that has allowed them to feel how profound my love is for them, and that they can accomplish what they set their hearts and minds to. One of the most important things I wanted for my children to know and understand is this: that they are children of a Heavenly Father who loves them; that they are here to learn, experience life, help others, and that their ultimate goal should be to live their lives in a way that allows them to return to Heavenly Father some day.

Some of the advice I have given to Cydnee about life is this: She should respect others and herself. That she should expect young men to treat her with kindness and respect. She deserves to be treated with that, and she should not settle for less. Life is not a smooth ride. We will have yield signs, potholes, and curves along the way, but we will never have a "dead end" sign. There is no such thing. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter what construction detours we have to face. Enjoy the ride!"

Kara: What do you think is the single most important thing your can accomplish in this life?"
Janie: "If I can accomplish success in showing others that we can persevere in whatever storms we have to go through, then I could leave this life knowing that I have helped someone else gain some of the courage they needed to weather their storms."

Incredible Woman #1 - Janie Squire. Thursday's questions

Kara: "What do you aspire to be? How will you get there? Talk about the short-term and long-term goals you have. Have you achieved some of your goals - how?"
Janie: "That is a difficult question. I aspired to be a school teacher when I was younger, and I was fortunate enough to do that for 18 years. I kept that goal within my sight even after I got married. We had a difficult time getting our family started, so teaching fulfilled my needs as far as being around children, and provided benefits we needed as newlyweds. Now my goal is to be the best mom that I can be to my daughter, and in the future, to be a fun grandma!! But WAY in the future!! I want to continue doing indexing for Family Search and someday soon get started on family geneology. I would love to travel into parts of Mexico and Spain to look for ancestors' grave sites. I also want to start visiting as many LDS temples located in different places in the United States. Dennis and I plan to take up golfing in order to spend time with each other and fill the void of a daughter that is moving out to go to college. (What is that all about? We don't live that far from Provo!)"

Kara: "You and your husband have a successful business (Big O Tires). Is it difficult owning your own business? How have you become successful? Any advice for women who want to own their own businesses?"
Janie: "We worked and sacrificed for 20 years in order for us to buy our first business! Twenty years, yes. That is a long time. You have to be willing to be a single parent for a great portion of the time in order to get things off the ground and running! I drove to Texas and back several times with my kids and no Dennis, because he was working. He bought old beater cars, repaired, restored, and sold them in order to set money aside for buying our first home and buying our first business! There were times when we wondered where we would get money for groceries, but it always showed up. He has been a dedicated employee in the past, and learned how to work hard from previous employers. Now we are able to enjoy the business, help others, and travel.

Advice on getting a business started for women? Well, I would suggest picking something that would benefit a lot of individuals, and something that perhaps is a bit extraordinary. Then, go for it! Be willing to invest time and energy into achieving that goal of having that business belong to you."

Visit tomorrow to read Janie's final 2 questions/answers. Pass the word along about Incredible Women!

Incredible Woman #1 - Janie Squire. Wednesday's questions

Kara: "Tell me about some service you've performed. How did it change you? How can we find ways to serve?"
Janie: "Serving my son for 19 years as his caregiver gave me an outlook on life that you couldn't learn from reading a book. He could not do the simple things that we are able to do, like tie your shoe, scratch your nose, etc. I learned how precious it is to have your muscles working properly. He served as Junior Ambassador for the Muscular Dystrophy Association for two years. He spoke at different events and I was fortunate enough to drive him to these functions and listen to his message. We were able to meet so many wonderful people because of this. It helped mold me into who I am today. After he passed away, I voluntarily served at the LDS Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah for two years. He had been planning to serve a mission there for our church, and of course was not able to, so I figured that I could do it for him. I was a Spanish translator for the Spanish-speaking missionaries and was able to meet so many wonderful young men and young women. It was so fulfilling to help them adjust to a new country, new foods, a new language - a new journey in their lives.

There are so many opportunities to serve. Look around. I promise that someone around the corner needs some service in one way or another. Invite a widow or widower to dinner, watch someone's child for an hour or two to give them a break, call someone that you have been "thinking" about. Most importantly: act upon when prompted upon to serve.

Kara: "If you had a full day to do anything you wanted, how would you spend it? What do you do to relax? Do you have any beauty secrets you can share with us?"
Janie: "A full day??!! What's that?!! Seriously, I would get a massage, a pedicure, get my hair done, go to a makeup counter and have someone do my makeup, then I would have Dennis take me to a fancy dinner!! AHHHHH!!! That would be the ultimate! A day filled with pampering just ME!! Oh, wait!! I'd go get a new outfit to wear!!!

I love to read "make you feel good" books - ones with happy endings, while sitting on my back deck with the water feature bubbling away, thus making me feel like I'm by a brook up in the mountains somewhere.

Beauty secrets? THAT makes me laugh! I don't know, seriously. I think laughing and having a great sense of humor makes us beautiful and feel younger. Well, maybe one thing that I have faithfully done since I was young is wash my makeup off each night, no matter how tired I may be. Always. Always. Then, follow up with moisturizer. I had a teacher in Junior High tell us that if we did that, it would help our skin not age so quickly. I guess that's why I've tried to be diligent about my skin. She was a pretty teacher."

Incredible Woman #1 - Janie Squire. Tuesday's questions

Kara: "Every person has to go through trials. I believe that HOW you handle your trials is important, not only to yourself, but to those around you. I know you've had some trials in your life. If you can, tell me about them. Which has been the hardest?"
Janie: "There have been a couple of trials in my life. The first one began with Brandon's diagnosis of Duchenne Muscular Dystropy. He was three when he was diagnosed. At the moment, your whole world comes to a stop. You want everyone to stop with you, but unfortunately as you look around, the world keeps moving with everyone on board. We have to decide to jump on board or refuse the ride. We all have jumped on board and taken the ride - haven't we? It was so difficult knowing that the beautiful, brown-eyed, brown-haired little boy was not as healthy as he looked. I knew as a mother, what things he was facing. It was difficult trying to keep things in perspective. "O.k., he will eventually be in a wheelchair, but let's take it one step at a time. We will cross that bridge when we get to it." That had to be my motto, otherwise it would have been too difficult to handle. When he lost his battle with this disease, and left our side, it felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't fathom my world continuing without my son, even though I knew that someday this would happen. It didn't make it any easier! I had lost the one that gave me so much joy, the one that could make me smile in an instant. It did feel like my world had ended for a time. I had been so accustomed to having my life revolve around him and his needs. I didn't know what I was going to do with myself. I did the every day things around the house, but I was lost without him here, needing me to get a drink for him, or brush his teeth, or comb his hair. I was lost for a while. That was in March 2003. Then, in June of 2007, I was faced with my own personal trial of breast cancer. That takes the wind out of your sails as well! I truly was surprised at the diagnosis. It doesn't run in my family, etc., etc. But, I think the fact that there was another trial to go through was a bit overwhelming. I didn't think "Well, the Lord has put me through the most ultimate test of losing a child, certainly He wouldn't give me another major trial", but when all of the tests started coming back positive, it was a bit surreal.

(I'm updating this post with this picture that Janie just sent - she says that a little neighbor boy, Zane, wanted to try on her wig. Have I mentioned how brave I think Janie is? I don't think I even have a picture of my head completely bald. Look how absolutely gorgeous she is!)

The trial that was the most difficult was definitely losing my son. No parent should have to bury a child. It isn't the natural course of life. Children should outlive their parents."


Kara: "How did you get through these trials? Can you give us some advice on tackling our own trials? What are some important lessons you've learned from your trials?"
Janie: "Advice on tackling trials... take it one day at a time. Cross those bridges that you have to cross as they come. Don't think about what will be happening in a week, a month, a year, 5 years, etc. Rely on the Lord to give you strength and remember what He had to endure in the Garden of Gethsemane. Keeping that in mind, truly helps you face your trials. I've learned that no one is immune from trials. We are here to learn, experience, and grow. What we do with these trials is our choice. What we learn is up to us. How we help others with their trials is also up to us, but if we choose to be of service, then think of how much richer our lives could be!

I have learned to not judge others. I have learned that some people have disabilities that are seen and some have disabilities that are not seen. We can't know what each person is going through just by what seems to be so apparent. I have learned to be patient. I have learned to enjoy each day of my life and not take it for granted. You never know when it is your last day."

Kara: I'd like to thank Janie for the answers to today's questions. I know they were difficult to talk about and I appreciate her candor. Janie has the most incredible statue in her front yard. It is of Brandon's wheelchair. Cydnee, her daughter, is holding on to the back and is flying, and Brandon is flying out of the front of it. Here are two pictures of the statue, with Janie's description (make sure to click on each picture to see them close up - they are amazing!)...


"This statue represents Brandon's new journey. He is no longer confined to a wheelchair and is "on his way" to begin this journey. He is looking back to his little sister, smiling and saying "Don't worry about me! I will be just fine! So will you!" Cydnee could be found on the back of Brandon's wheelchair going for rides with him around the neighborhood. Her ponytail would fly in the wind and she would hang on for all she was worth! It was such a beautiful sight to see! Dennis Smith, famous sculptor from Alpine, was able to capture both of them so perfectly. We unveiled the statue on Brandon's one year anniversary. It gives us so much comfort and joy. The statue is a wonderful reminder to us of how life doesn't end here. We believe in eternal life and that if we live our lives in righteousness, we will be together as a family forever. We look forward to seeing Brandon again. He will no longer have an imperfect body, but a healthy body and we will see him standing and walking. What a glorious day that will be!"

How touching, Janie. Thanks for sharing that with us!

Tomorrow we'll be learning what Janie's thoughts are on service, and what she'd do with a full day to herself!

Incredible Woman #1 - Janie Squire. Monday's questions

Janie Squire is one of my neighbors and a good friend. She helped me through an awfully hard time in my life this last year (during my fight with breast cancer). I've always wanted to get to know Janie a bit more - I know you'll love her, too! Here are the first two questions I asked Janie...

Kara: "Janie, tell me a little bit about yourself... what are your hobbies, talents, beliefs, etc.?"
Janie: "I am 52 years old. I just had that wonderful birthday in June! I love to read, go for long walks, spend time with family, cooking, and traveling!! Beliefs... "I believe that we are here for a purpose. That we were sent here to learn, grow and help others. I believe that each of us has a guardian angel that is assigned to us - mine is my son, Brandon, who left this early world in 2003."

Kara: "What makes you an "Incredible Woman"?"
Janie: "Ooooo.... I don't even think I fall under this category! I think that the trials that I have had to face in this life have shaped and molded me into who I am today. My experiences allow me to have the empathy necessary to help others that perhaps are going through similar things."

Kara: "You have a beautiful family. Tell me about them. Describe a typical day. What are some of the fun things you've done as a family?"
Janie: "My sweet family... I've been married to Dennis for 30 years!!! Time has flown by!! We met BRIEFLY while he was serving in the Texas San Antonio Mission. His love for the little ones in the ward was quite evident and that caught my attention. But, that's all really. I was attending Pan American University in Edinburg, TX, which is about 300 miles from my home town. After I was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I moved back home. My brother and mother got us writing. ANYWAY... here we are. Brandon is our oldest. He is 25 years old. He was 19 when he lost his battle with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. We know that he is happy and that his body is no longer plagued with such a debilitating illness. This disease is a degenerative muscle disease. Over time, you lose muscle mass, which culminates in losing muscle strength and complete usage of your muscles. He will always be a part of our lives. Even though we can't see him here, I know that he isn't far away. He is a handsome, brown-eyed, cheerful young man. I miss him so much, yet am comforted in knowing that someday, we will see him on the other side and that he will be standing there ready to greet us and hug us. Cydnee is our baby. She is 18, but closely approaching her 19th birthday. She graduated with honors from Lone Peak High School and will be attending Brigham Young University in the fall. She has been through so many things that a lot of kids her age have never experienced. She learned how to be her brother's arms and legs. Cydnee was able to learn so much about accepting people with disabilities because of Brandon. She is a beautiful young lady that has goals in life and will achieve them because of her determination. Love my kids!!

A typical day for us is pretty average for a little family. Dennis gets up at "o-dark thirty" to exercise EVERY DAY (except Sunday). He runs at least 7 miles, 4 times a week and does weight training on two days. He is so dedicated to staying fit and healthy. I'm super glad that he is taking care of himself, but sometimes it is a bit frustrating when I want to cook things that have lots of cheese and butter... and don't, because I know that he will just have one serving - that is an indication to me of "don't cook it again". He doesn't SAY that, but I know he is thinking it!! Cydnee is doing her externship as Medical Assistant right now at the AF Clinic, so she is up at 7:00 am. Sometimes we meet for lunch, which I love, or sometimes she comes home for lunch. She doesn't get home until 5:30 or 6:00 pm. I get up about 7:30 or 8:00. I read my scriptures or an Ensign article and say my morning prayers. I try and get the spiritual "workout" first. Then I go walking with one of my friends, whether it be Adrienne Peterson or Natalie Grant. We walk for about 4 miles, at least 3 or 4 times a week. I come home and get ready for the day. Sometimes I index, work on my church calling responsibilities, help my niece with her little ones, run errands for the family, work on photo projects, go outside and trim some rose bushes, etc. At the end of the day, our family reunites for dinner. My favorite part of the day is dinnertime because of the togetherness, and bedtime prayer for the same reason. We gather around Brandon's bed and have prayer there. We feel close to him in his room, so we have chosen to have family prayer there."

Fun things as a family: "We love to go "jeeping" in the Jeep. We drive up the mountain and explore trails as we go. Sometimes Dennis gets a bit too adventurous, but we come back in one piece! Due to Brandon's illness, we never invested in play toys such as boats or ATVs, so we did a lot of traveling instead, to places that were accessible to him. My favorite memories are of helping Brandon realize his dreams. He wanted to meet the cast of Full House, so through Make A Wish, we were able to go as a family to do that. It was so exciting meeting Mary Kate Olsen and John Stamos! We headed to Disneyland after that. He also wanted to watch Steve Young play in the NFL, so we drove to San Francisco to witness a win of the 49ers over the Cincinnati Bengals! We have met and mingled with Karl Malone, Jeff Hornacek, the Jazz Bear, Frank Layden, Senator Orrin Hatch, Governor Mike Leavitt, Thurl Bailey, and on and on. All because of a persistent and charismatic young man! We still love to travel and are enjoying creating memories with Cydnee."

Return tomorrow, when questions/answers 3 and 4 will be posted!