Incredible Woman #18 - Francis Irene Evans - Saturday

To wrap up this week - the feature on my maternal grandmother, Irene, I thought I'd include some thoughts from my sister, Kristin (a former Incredible Woman). My cousin, Candy Jo also send a few thoughts. Here are hers first:

"The first thing that comes to mind is her ability to adapt. She grew up in a small town on a farm, was raised with rather limited education and a rather narrow perspective on the value of diversity and yet was able to move far away from home as a young woman and make a lovely home for her new husband and family. And she did raise two pretty cool people." -Candy

And, here are the memories Kristin shared with me...

"My earliest memory of her (Grandma) was at her house in Bountiful. She was baking in the kitchen and we were outside rolling down the hill in her back yard. We picked her flowers and she came out a saw that we had and she said "Oh Shhht!" Boy did we think we were in trouble! But she just hugged us and told us not to touch them anymore!

I remember when we were little and going to Great Grandpa's farm in Virginia. She was always in the kitchen surrounded by her sisters and they were so funny! She took me out to the chicken coop to get eggs and I thought that was great fun. Then we went in to cook them for breakfast, she broke one in the pan and it had blood in it and had already started to form. I watched as she calmly scooped it out of the pan and threw it in the trash and then went back to cooking! I was so grossed out I vowed to never eat an egg off of a farm again! Only the ones that came from the store! She would take me out after breakfast and we would throw the garbage in the pig pen, I thought that was pretty fun too!

As I got older I too remember every year Grandma and Grandpa's silver bullet trailer in our driveway. I couldn't wait to see them pull in! I also remember riding in their old rust colored car with the cactus scene in the back window! I thought we were so in style! Ha!

I remember cooking with her and her teaching me how to make different dishes, though I never could make it like her because she would measure things with the palm of her hand. "You put in this much of this and this much of that." Unfortunately I don't have the same size hands as her so nothing is the same! I loved her pies, they were the best pies in the world! Especially strawberry rhubarb!

I loved that she quilted my kids blankets, I loved that every stitch was perfect, it always amazed me!

I loved seeing them (my grandparents) after I had kids! They loved the little ones and after I married Dave and had 5 more, she would get confused about all their names, she would say "How is whatchacalla?" and she would explain to me who she was asking about, "The one who likes baseball", "The one with diabetes", "The littlest one", every phone call would last an hour at least. She wanted to know what each of them were doing and how everyone was. She was just so sweet. She really loved all of her grandkids and great grandkids! She was thrilled when Nathan and Haley had her first great-great granddaughter! She asked all the time how she was and wanted to see her! Dave and I took a road trip with our 8 kids to visit her when we were first married. Our 2 oldest slept on the pull out couch and the 6 boys slept in sleeping bags out on her big covered porch! It was quite an adventure! She loved spending time with them all and talked about that for years!

Visiting her in Arizona was always so much fun! We would go to the swap meet and look around and everything I would buy she would ask "What do you need that for?" I had to explain every purchase! There was never a good reason! We would sit at her kitchen table and paint flour sack towels with fabric paints for hours. First she would iron on the pictures and then we would sit and color together so I had something to take home and use. I loved spending that time with her! For her 80th birthday, Mom, Kara, and I flew down and celebrated with her and her sisters. It was so much fun to be around them all! We got bumped off our flight, but our bags were checked! So the three of us went back to grandma's but stopped to buy sweats to wear and makeup to share the next morning! It was fun to spend an extra night and grandma's though and she wasn't disappointed at all!

In the past year I had the privilege of visiting her twice. In November I drove down with my parents and little Ellie. They went in the back door and Ellie and I went to the front door and knocked, she was so excited to see us standing there! It was so fun to surprise her! She just loved having the baby there! I was able to visit her again for the last time with my sister Kara and Ellie in the spring. We drove down together and had so much fun when we got there. We pulled in and she was waiting at the door. She got a real kick out of Ellie playing on the air vents and would laugh and laugh at her! It was a great few days and I will cherish those memories with her. The best part of our trips there was looking at photo albums and listening to her tell stories about the pictures! We laughed for hours and had a great time!

We were so blessed to have her as part of our lives for so long! What an amazing woman! I love you grandma!!!" Kristin

Some fun pictures of us with Grandma Evans...

This is at Grandma's 80th birthday

This is Kristin, her daughter Ellie, my mom, Barbara, and Grandma Evans earlier this year.

This is Grandma Evans with great-granddaughter, Ellie.


And, finally, this is me visiting my grandmother for the last time - I'm just recovering from breast cancer - no hair! Grandma died a few months later.

This has been a real treat - featuring my grandmother this week. I look forward to next week, when I'll be featuring my paternal grandmother.

Incredible Woman #18 - Francis Irene Evans - Friday

I'm going to wrap up this week by talking about the years after my grandmother's kids were married - this is when I knew her, when she became a grandma.

I loved going to my grandparents' home. I remember the little house they had in Bountiful, Utah. It was one of those houses, probably built in the 1950s or 1960s, reddish-orange brick.

I remember sitting at the kitchen table - I think the cabinets were all white - watching my grandma cook. I loved the fireplace surround - beautifully carved wood, painted white, where there sat a very cool mantle clock - I can remember watching the inside of the clock going around in a circle. I remember my grandparents room, where I could always find "treasures" on their dressers - love gifts made by their children years earlier. Downstairs was Grandpa's pool table. Outside, the yard was divided - with a small hill in the middle. I remember rolling down that hill. I was a lucky child. My mother told me that my grandma LOVED being a grandma. She loved when we came to visit, and loved to babysit. She would watch me and my sister for a week, once a year, while my parents went away on vacation. One of my favorite stories - although I don't really remember this, I was too young - is when I was 3 years old. My grandma was babysitting me. I went out to sit on the porch. Grandma told me to stay there - don't go out of the yard. A while later, she found me sitting on the porch, eating a candybar. I'm sure she was confused - she hadn't given me one. When she asked where I got it, I told her that I went to the store. Apparently, I had walked all the way down the huge hill in her subdivision, and then walked a few blocks (I don't know how many), to the little store, walked in, took a candy bar, and walked back home with it! I'm sure my grandma freaked out. I would have. I do remember what happened next. She marched me right back to the store (no, we didn't drive), and made me go in and tell the manager what I had done. I had to give the candy bar back. It was very humiliating for a 3 year old child. I was embarrassed and feeling very bad for letting my grandma down. She rarely got mad at me.

Each Christmas Eve, our family went to Grandma and Grandpa's house for our family party. Grandma loved parties. Our family was pretty small. My parents had 2 children, and my uncle had 3. The parties were great - super good food, presents (my friends were always jealous that I got to open a bunch of presents before Christmas day), and time with Grandma and Grandpa. What could be better?!

One of the things that I found fascinating about my grandmother is that she never did get a driver's license. Ever. Whenever she needed to go somewhere, my grandpa would take her. I could never understand this. I always felt bad that she couldn't drive. And, she was such a good "backseat driver", that I thought she would be able to drive, even without getting a license! She knew all of the rules of the road - at least it seemed to me that she did - and could tell you exactly what to do (and often did). ;-)

My grandma was a devoted wife. She loved my grandfather very much. She took very good care of him. My grandparents were both the same age. They retired when they were 54. My grandfather decided that he wanted to go where it was warm (I think because of his health), and so my grandmother went with him to Arizona.

They became snowbirds - coming "home" to Utah in the summertime, when the heat of Arizona was too bad. They had an Airstream trailer - one of the cool silver trailers that always looked like a bullet to me - and they would park it in my parents' driveway during the summers. This was their new life.

Knowing how much my grandma loved her kids and grandkids, I think this must have been hard for her, but she loved grandpa too, and she went because he wanted to. Their life in Arizona was fun - they met many other couples, and had a great time. They golfed (I always thought the sight of my grandma in golf shoes and gloves was so cool), they learned to square dance, they had tons of parties. They had "Happy Hour" with their friends almost every day - getting together to visit. I found out from my mom that they belonged to a motorcycle group call the Geritol Angels. They rode all over Apache Junction - in parades too!

As I said before, she was devoted to my grandpa, and so when he was diagnosed with Lymphona (one of the worst cancers), she took care of him. He lived with Lymphona for 5 years, and my grandmother took care of him that whole time. It made me so sad to watch him deteriorate from that strong grandpa I remembered to a man who was so weak and sick. It must have just killed my grandmother. It was hard to take care of him - because she didn't drive, they had to have neighbors, and friends drive them to the hospital for treatments and doctors' appointments, 90 minutes away. Until last year, when I went through cancer, I didn't fully appreciate how hard this must have been for both of them. It was terrible. My grandmother was determined to take care of him - she wanted him home. At the end, she got a hospital bed for him, and had it set up in their small trailer. She took care of all of his needs. That one sentence says volumes to me. I visited them a few months before he died, and it was sad, but so inspiring, to watch my grandmother take care of him with such love, devotion, and tenderness. At the very end - when he had only a few months left, my uncle moved to Arizona and was able to help with the hard stuff - moving him, and helping with other things. I was so grateful to my uncle for this - I know my mom was, too. My grandfather died at age 75.


My grandma lived on her own for the next 14 years. I know she was lonely. That always made me sad. I wished that she lived closer, so that I could visit. Imagine living on your own for that long, without being able to drive!

Some of the things that my mom told me about this "grandma" time of my grandmother's life:
She stayed very close to her family in Virginia - especially her sisters. One of my favorite memories was of my grandmother's 80th birthday. All of her sisters flew in to stay with her. My mom, sister Kris, and I also flew in. It was a huge "girl's night" - for days! These were all little old southern women, and they cracked me up! They first things they said when we walked in was to my sister - "Krissy, you lost weight! You're just too skinny!" Then, I walked in and they said "Kara, you look like you gain 30 pounds since we saw you last!" Yeah. They spoke their minds, without any qualms. I can laugh about it now, but boy, was I mad then. ;-) The things that made me laugh the most was their obsession with food! They would get up and make a huge breakfast, and then when that was all cleaned up, they would sit down and start talking about what to make for lunch - this lasted until lunchtime. Then they would repeat this for dinner. It was so funny! Of course, the food was great!

My grandmother was a very frugal woman - like most people who had lived through the depression - and she took care of the bills. If I remember right, there was only one time that my grandpa came to her, wondering where all the money was going. She just gave him the bills, and told him that he could take care of them from now on! He tried, I think, but quickly gave her that responsibility back! My mom told me that my grandparents always bought the best you could buy - of anything. It took them awhile to save up enough money to buy something, but when they did, it was really nice, and never wore out. The stuff they bought was always taken care of and it lasted forever. They rarely put anything on credit (probably only their cars and house). They were very happy to live within their means - and taught their children that valuable lesson.

During the last years of her life, she would talk to her sisters every Sunday. And, they would talk for hours! I always wondered what they could possibly be talking about - there is no way that things changed much during one week! She loved talking on the phone, and she called me several times each week while I battled cancer - it was so nice to talk and become closer to her this last year. She would get very emotional and start to cry, saying that she wished she could go through this for me - she wished it was her instead of me. That meant so much to me. I know, without a shadow of doubt, that if it was possible for her to take that burden from me, she would have. During the last few years, her health got a little worse, but she mostly was able to live at home by herself. She had a huge heart surgery several years ago, but seemed like she was in pretty good health until she died. I had the privilege of visiting her earlier this year with my sister. It was fun - it's always enjoyable to visit with your grandmother. I was thinking how lucky I was to still have both of my grandmothers at my age! Then, a few months ago, she had an aneurysm, fell and hit her head, and was taken to the hospital. She died a 1/2 hour before my mother got there. It was devastating. The thing that touched me the most, was that my mother said she just wished she could have touched her mother's warm face one more time - to say goodbye. I feel just the same way.

This is a picture of my sister, Kris and her daughter, Ellie with my grandmother during our last visit with her.


This picture is very special to me - all of my sons and my sister's sons - all of my grandmother's 7 great-grandsons - carried her casket. My uncle was there to help. What a special opportunity for them.


My grandmother was an extraordinary woman. She lived an incredible life. Thanks for giving me this opportunity to tell you about her.

Grandma - thanks so much for your selfless life, for the examples you set, and the lessons you taught. I love you.

Incredible Woman #18 - Francis Irene Evans - Wednesday

I asked my mom what kind of mother Grandma Evans was. Here are some of her thoughts...

Irene was a devoted wife and mother. She was devoted to making a good home. Irene had 2 children - a girl (my mom, Barbara), and a boy (Chuck). In those days (1940s-1950s), most women stayed home and didn't work outside of the home. Irene was a southern lady and she taught her children to have immaculate manners. They were taught to respect their elders. They were not allowed to use an adult's first name. They were also not allowed to answer the phone - that was an adult's job.

Irene excelled at several things - sewing, quilting, and cooking. She sewed all of my mother's clothes until she got married. She always made her kids pajamas. I remember that my grandmother ironed EVERYTHING! She ironed not only clothes, but sheets, pillowcases, etc. My mother was taught to iron pillowcases and her daddy's hankies before she learned to iron clothes. My grandmother taught my mom to quilt. In order to work on one of her quilts, you had to be able to quilt 8-10 stitches in an inch. If you didn't, she'd make you pick the stitching out, or just not let you help. She taught my grandfather to quilt as well. In fact, my mother told me that he could quilt left-handed or right-handed! And he could do 8-10 stitches an inch. I remember quite well how big my grandpa's hand were, so the idea of him quilting never ceases to amaze me!

Another thing that my mother remembers from her childhood is that Irene canned everything - fruits, vegetables, pickles, pickled beets, jam. She would always want the first pickings of the season. My grandmother made the most amazing fresh fruit cocktail, which she then froze.

Irene was an exceptional cook - she follow a few recipes, but mostly just threw stuff together (something that my mother learned to do, and in turn I've learned to do too.) My grandmother grew up during the depression and learned to never waste anything. She always used leftovers. She never threw anything away. My mom said that she never let anything go bad in the fridge! That is an amazing thing! I asked my mom what recipes of her mother's she loved and she gave me the following list: Cinnamon Rolls, homemade Mac-n-cheese ("Mac-n-cheese never came from a box"), Southern Fried Chicken, Dumplings. She made ALL of her desserts from scratch. "Her homemade bread, toasted, with homemade jam was out of this world". My mom was taught to eat what was put on her plate. She said that her father would tell her, "Your mother never fixes anything that isn't good for you, so you'll eat it and sit there until you do." Haha!

One more thing I remember about my grandmother - it stands out vividly in my mind, and when I mentioned it to my mother, she said she experienced the same thing. My handwriting used to be awful. It slanted left - entirely the wrong way. One day, my grandmother sat me down at her kitchen table and made me write cursive over and over until my handwriting slanted the right way. My grandma had the most lovely writing, and thanks to her, so do I (and so does my mom!). My mom told me that at the end of her life, my grandmother became upset as her handwriting got more and more shaky. It was just one of the things that was important to her.

As my mom told me about the kind of mother my grandma was, I could feel the love and longing in my mom's voice. I believe that my mom had a wonderful childhood, thanks to my grandma and grandpa.

Just a few of the lessons I learned about this time in my grandmother's life: children should be taught to respect their elders, we should never waste anything, learning to do things with our hands - using our talents - can help our families immensely.

Tomorrow I'd like to share the latter part of my grandmother's life - her retirement with my grandpa, and how she took care of him during his final years.

Incredible Woman #18 - Francis Irene Evans - Tuesday

When Irene was a teenager, her best friend was Ruby. As they got older, they dated together, and had lots of fun times. Irene worked at a factory that made footstools and other furniture. I'm sure she brought home money to help her family during that time in her life. During WWII, the factory was turned into a place that made parachutes. Irene continued to work there. The parachutes were made to carry men and supplies. Each color of parachute fabric meant something different. There were blue, yellow, white, and red parachutes. Someday I'd love to research what the different colors meant. Irene brought leftover fabric home, where she and her mother would use it to make quilts. My mom still has one of these quilts!




During this time, Irene and Ruby has a great time dating the enlisted men. Eventually, they decided to date only officers, because they made more money. Haha! One day, Irene was walking along the side of the road, and a car pulled up. In this car was an officer - Thomas C. Evans.

(I told you yesterday he was handsome! What do you think?)
He asked her if he could give her a ride. She said no, she didn't let men pick her up. So he got out of the car and walked with her. Thomas was stationed at Langley Field Air Force Base in Richmond, Virginia. He was an instructor and co-pilot on B-24 Bombers. It was a whirlwind romance. They knew each other only 6 weeks before they were married in 1945.



After the war ended, Thomas was discharged and they were married in Richmond. That day, they jumped in the car and headed west - to Salt Lake City, Utah. Thomas worked at Caldwell Motors for awhile, and then got a job at Hill Air Force Base, were he was a flight line inspector. Irene stayed home and took care of the home.

One of the things about this time of my Grandmother's life that I admire the most is her willingness to leave her family and go across the country to live. Back then, long-distance phone calls were for emergencies, and flying across the country was not an option. My mother said that her father would save up money and time off of work for two years and then the family would go for 1 month to Virginia to visit her mom's family. This was the pattern throughout most of their married life, at least while they had kids at home. I know how that feels. During my early married life, I lived very far away from my family. We came to visit once a year. Each year in between visits seemed like an eternity to me. I can't even imagine how hard it must have been for my grandmother to go 2 years between visits.

Tomorrow, I tell you about my grandmother as a wife and mother. She was amazing. Plus, there are some very good lessons that I learned about this time in her life.

Incredible Woman #18 - Francis Irene Evans

Both of my grandmothers have passed away in the last 3 months, and they had such a strong influence on me, that I thought I would feature each of them this month. I can't think of 2 women who are more incredible than the two of them. I'm so excited to share them with you. So, this week I'll be featuring my maternal grandmother, Francis Irene Osborne Evans. I interviewed my mother, Barbara, for the information I'll share this week.

Today I want to tell you about my grandmother's childhood. Irene was one of 8 children - 5 girls and 3 boys.

She was the oldest daughter of John Henry and Dora Osborne.

She grew up on a dairy farm in Virginia.

All of the kids worked hard on the farm. There was so much to do - helping with the cows, tending their mother's large garden, hunting for meat, raising chickens and pigs. The family grew or raised all of their own food. The cows were Holstein cows - black and white.

Irene's dad was very proud of his dairy farm. They had hundreds of cows and milked each one. Then, the milk trucks would come and get the milk. I remember visiting my great-grandfather's dairy farm as a child. At that time, his son's family took care of the farm and, lucky me, I got to help milk the cows early, early each morning. It was so much fun running around the barn, bare-footed, helping with these huge cows. My mother remembers drinking from great pitchers of fresh milk when she was a child. I, on the other hand, thought that was gross, so I refused to drink anything but milk from the local grocery store. Imagine that - visiting a dairy farm with fresh milk, and instead, driving to the store for milk! I'm kind of ashamed of that now. Besides the chores on the farm, my grandmother learned to do many other things. Being the oldest girl, she helped prepare and cook food and clean the house. Her mother, Dora, taught her other things as well. One thing was quilting. My grandmother was an incredible quilter. More on that later this week. One thing that surprised me, was finding out that my grandmother only went to school through the 7th or 8th grade.

At that time, her grandmother became ill, and she had to drop out of school to take care of her. She never went back to school. I would never have guessed that my grandmother only had an 8th grade education. The only thing that might have tipped me off was that I remember her moving her lips when she read, but other than that, I didn't know she had to drop out of school.

Being lucky enough to visit the dairy farm 2 times in my youth, I was able to walk through the house that she grew up in, and imagine my grandmother as a child, running through the same fields, and playing in the same barn as I did. She lived in a two story white farmhouse. I remember quite well, walking upstairs, and staying in one of the rooms there. It had a big squeaky bed. My great-grandfather used to sit on the porch with his brother and sons, talking into the late afternoon. I don't think I ever met his brother, but I loved being there with him. I really loved visiting my grandmother's childhood home. I imagine she had a wonderful time during those years as a child - even though it was during the depression. She had a wonderful father and mother, who taught her so many things... things that trickled down through my mother to me.

Tomorrow you'll meet the "teenage" and "young adult" Irene... a girl who stole the heart of an Air Force officer! You'll fall in love with him too - wait till you see his picture! Please join me then.

A New Incredible Woman - Coming Tomorrow

Please join me this week, as I introduce Francis Irene Osborne Evans - my maternal grandmother. I can't wait to tell you all about this Incredible Woman! Check back tomorrow.