Incredible Woman #30 - Laurel Cochrane. Friday's Questions...

KARA: "There aren’t very many grandmothers who have their own website, and have taught their own kids HTML! Tell us about your website. Describe the kinds of things you put on that website. Do you enjoy working with computers?"

LAUREL: "Actually I created this most recent website 10 years ago as a gift to myself and to my family on my 66th birthday, June 16, 2000. Prior to that I had created another family website with HTML that was mostly a repository for pictures. The current site is two-fold. The family part is private, available only to our family and a few friends and is password protected. Right now we have 64 members. It has the following sections: Calendar, Chat, Family Tree, File Cabinet, History, News, Photos, Polls, Recipes, Reviews and Utilities. We have had some wonderful and interesting discussions on every subject imaginable. I try to post a scrapbook page on the front page of the site for each member of the family on their birthday, anniversary, birth or other accomplishments such as graduations, missions, etc. Originally I was creating those front page banners with HTML but when I discovered digital scrapbooking I fell in love with the medium and now almost always do it with a scrapbook page. The nice thing about that is that I can later use them to print books of the year's activities in each family unit. If for some reason I am not able to create a page when an event happens there is always someone in the family who pitches in and produces and posts beautiful pages.

The other part of that website is public and is devoted to genealogy. I created it a few years ago when I was teaching a genealogy class. I haven't updated it recently but I should do some work on it or change the topic to make it more relevant to things I am involved in right now. I also have several other websites for the family with specific interest focus. One is called "Treasury of Wit and Wisdom" where members of the family can post anything they consider worthy of keeping or discussing or using for spiritual growth or talks or lessons they may give. Another is a digital scrapbooking site for those members of the family that do scrapbooking. I have a special website that is a repository for the writings and poetry of my daughter, Susie, and my granddaughter, Heidi. I also have a genealogy website for our family genealogy.

Did I mention that one of my greatest interests is keeping my family close and involved even though we live in various states and can't visit in person as often as we would like. The computer helps with that interest for sure!"


KARA: "Tell us your “beauty secrets” – what do you do to stay healthy? If you had one day to pamper yourself, what would you do? What kinds of things do you enjoy doing?"

LAUREL: "I try to eat a healthy diet, I walk daily, drink lots of water, just the regular stuff. I can't think what I would do if I had a day to pamper myself. I mentioned so many things that I enjoy doing in other answers that I have probably covered that pretty well."

Well, I can think of one thing Laurel would probably love - having every member of her family together for a whole day! This interview has been wonderful and I appreciate Laurel allowing me to feature her here on Incredible Women. Thanks goes to her daughter Suzie for nominating her! This interview will be up in it's entirety through Sunday afternoon, and then the blog will again be UNDER CONSTRUCTION for our next Incredible Woman. Thanks for stopping by!

Incredible Woman #30 - Laurel Cochrane. Thursday's Questions...

KARA: "As a mom with grown children, and a grandmother, what words of wisdom can you share with us about raising children?"

LAUREL: "As far as I am concerned, the most important thing is to love your children and to let them know how much you love them. Give them lots of positive feedback and encouragement so that they develop good self-images but don't feed their egos with a false sense of conceit. Be consistent but not dictatorial. No matter the circumstances, have fun with them. Help them to explore and develop their talents, whatever those may be. Help them learn to serve others. Teach them to be self-reliant. Make sure they learn to cook and clean and to have good hygiene. Help them love learning. But most of all love them for who they are!"


KARA: "I’m curious about your job as an engineer, working for AT&T. Describe that time in your life and tell us what you are most proud of."

LAUREL: "I pretty much covered my work life so I will just say that I appreciate working for a company that overlooked the fact that I was a high school dropout and took a chance on me and that provided opportunities to grow and develop in the company.

I think the thing I am most please about in my job performance is the last year I worked there. Building was booming and I was assigned to three of the areas that were experiencing unprecedented business and residential growth, La Jolla, The Golden Triangle, and the La Costa/Carlsbad area. Normally a Planning Engineer designs and terminates a major feeder cable only once a year, if that. During my last year there I designed and terminated 12 major feeder cables out of the central offices and designed the first fiber optic ring in San Diego. When you design a job you manage it until the work is completed. It was a whirlwind year but I was very happy with the results. It was very rewarding. As it turned out one of those areas was exactly where our San Diego Temple was built. That was an added blessing, to know that I had a part in making sure the facilities were there for that temple."

Please come back tomorrow - the last day of our interview with Laurel. You won't want to miss it!

Incredible Woman #30 - Laurel Cochrane. Wednesday's Questions...

KARA: "I’ve been told that you take care of your husband, who has neuropathy. What are the challenges and the blessings of taking care of a spouse?"

LAUREL: "Frankly, I love taking care of my husband. It is not always easy and the past ten years while he has been handicapped have had some really difficult times but there are so many good times that I sure can't complain. When things get really hard, like when he almost died recently and was hospitalized for a month, my daughters, my daughter-in-law and his daughters and grandson came to help at various times and that made all the difference in the world. He is getting better every day and he can't wait to get well enough to go back out to his workshop and start making the wonderful wooden toys he loves so much to make for the children in our family.
When I had a tumor taken out of my spinal column and was recuperating for a while and when I had colon cancer surgery he was right there taking care of me too. Isn't it wonderful not to be alone when trouble comes and to have people that care about you and love you enough to be there when you are in need? What a blessing.

Every day I say a prayer of thanksgiving for Fred and for the opportunity to love a good man and to be part of his life. When I do happen to get down for some reason, maybe when my back is killing me, I try to remind myself that this too will pass and the good times will come again. We WILL get through this, too. And we do."


KARA: "You are very talented! Your daughter mentioned photography, sewing, and cooking among those many talents. Talk about each one of those – what do you love about each one?"

LAUREL: "I love making digital scrapbook pages and having them printed into hardbound books. The pages I design for the front page of our website for each special occasion in our family (birthdays, anniversaries, births, weddings, missions, welcome homes, graduations, earning their Eagle, and anything else that is special in their lives) give me a way to make sure they each know just how much I love them and how special and unique they are. It is one way that I can explore ways to be creative.

I also love to experiment with new recipes and make dishes that are appealing and attractive.

Another thing I do love is genealogy. During the summer I spent with my paternal grandparents I heard so many stories of the pioneers in my family and I asked my grandmother so many questions about them! Until then I have to admit that I did not know anything about family relationships. I didn't know what a cousin was or an aunt or any of the other names of relatives so it was like opening up a new world for me. After I joined the Church I became very involved in trying to locate and document my ancestors so you can imagine my surprise and my joy when 25 years after I spent that summer with my grandparents, my grandmother presented me with a complete written history of all of my ancestors that she could find and document complete with personal stores of each and dates and places. It was remarkable! She was not a member of the Church at that time but she said because of all the questions I asked she started researching and documenting and after all that time she felt she had enough information to type it up and give it to me. What a treasure that gift was. She did join the Church before she died, by the way."

By the way, all you incredible followers - Tuesday, we made it to 10,000 hits on this blog! The blog was started in August of 2009, so that just 7 1/2 months. Thanks SO MUCH for being interested enough in these wonderful women to become followers of the blog. This just makes me SO happy. To celebrate, please make a comment or email me at kara(dot)incrediblewomen(at)gmail(dot)com, and let me know what you like about the blog, and give me ideas for questions you'd like me to ask future Incredible Women. Also, help me celebrate by nominating a woman you know! THANKS! (Those of you who have nominated women in the past - I'm still working on arranging interviews with all of them.) Let's see how many of you can nominate a woman in the next 2 days!

Incredible Woman #30 - Laurel Cochrane. Tuesday's Questions...

KARA: "From what your daughter described, you’ve been through some rough times. Talk about some of the trials you’ve gone through, and tell us what helped you overcome those trials. How can we turn trials into blessings?"

LAUREL: "I believe most people have trials and difficulties in life and it is quite possible that those very trials are the blessings Heavenly Father gives us to help us build strength and faith. My trials have not been as bad as many others but have taught me to trust in the Lord and to work hard to overcome them. Frankly, I am grateful for the trials I have had.

My little brother and I were what I laughingly call "throw-away" children. Our lives changed when I was about 6 and my brother was 5 and our parents separated. From that time until I was about 10 years-old we lived in many different cities in Oregon, California, Idaho, Washington and Alaska with various people. There is no way I could begin to tell you how many schools we attended. I never read a book until I was in the sixth grade and I don't recall ever being read to by someone else. Sometimes we lived with our mother but most of the time we were boarded with various caretakers. For a while I was in a private girls school and my brother, Irving, was in a military academy.

When I was about 10 years old we were put on a bus in Washington State and sent to Myrtle Creek, Oregon to be with our father's parents. Unfortunately, they did not know we were coming and as a result when we got off the bus beside the road at 4:00 am in the dark there was nobody to meet us. As daylight came a horse drawn wagon came by delivering milk and the driver stopped to see what we were doing there by the side of the road. We told him we were waiting for our grandparents. When he found out we didn't have any idea what their name was he asked us our name and said he knew of some Johnson's living in the housing project a few miles away but not exactly where in the complex. He took us to the area and let us off and we started knocking on any doors where we saw lights. Finally we found the right unit and we stayed with our grandparents for a few months but we could hear them talking about what to do with us and it was apparent that it was a problem for them. While there we worked in the prune orchards and the bean fields to help pay our way. We finally went into the countryside and found jobs working for our room and board on farms. Irving, my brother went to work for a family north of Myrtle Creek and I found a job just south of Myrtle Creek.

When WWII ended our father came home from the Pacific and with his new wife moved to Oregon. Our step mother did not want us to live with them so finally my father's brother decided to take Irving to live with him and my dad was to take me over his wife's objections. That didn't last long so again I found work for my room and board.

I quit school and married at 16 to a boy of 17. The marriage was difficult. I had 5 miscarriages and three live births, there was abuse, my husband couldn't stay out of trouble with the law, he was unfaithful, went to jail once for statutory rape of a 16 year-old, couldn't hold a job. Needless to say these were not happy years in many ways. The only bright spot was my children whom I adored. I was a mess! I had absolutely no self-confidence, really felt in my heart and soul that I was a nothing.

When I was 24 the marriage ended one day when my husband became angry, almost killed me, left me unconscious on the floor, six months pregnant, with my two toddlers and two older neighbor boys watching this dreadful scene. When I regained consciousness, I gathered up what little my children and I had and left. I filed for divorce and my husband didn't even show up when it went to court. He did, however, constantly harass me and insisted I had to come back. So I left the city and moved from Eureka, California to be near my brother and his wife and to avoid additional danger from my husband. He figured out where I went and came down to San Diego and kidnapped Joe and Pam at gunpoint saying that he was going to kill me and the children. I was gone when he came because my car had caught on fire on the way down and my brother and I were on our way back up to Irvine where we had left the car to tow it down. My sister-in-law called the police and they arrested my husband and returned two frightened children to us. When he got out of jail he came back again with a gun but my brother was there that time and he made it very clear to my former husband that he was not to EVER come near us again or contact us in any way.

I transferred from the telephone company in Eureka and went to work as a long distance telephone operator in San Diego. Realizing there was no way to support my family on operator pay, I started taking classes at the local college. After a few months I transferred to the Accounting Department with the telephone company and worked there for 4 years. I was constantly taking classes so I could move to better paying jobs. I was also taking classes to know how to care for my children, how to become a person, how to be better. I finally realized I was gaining a lot of college credits which wouldn't lead to a degree because I didn't have a high school degree so I enrolled in high school and finally earned my degree there. I transferred to the Business Office with the telephone company and after a few years was promoted to management. I stayed in the Business Office until I was promoted to Area Staff at headquarters. After a few years at headquarters one of the Engineering Managers requested that I be transferred to his Engineering Department to be trained as an Engineer. I worked as a Facilities Engineer designing aerial and underground cables in business and residential areas for three years until I was promoted to the position of Planning Engineer. I spent my last nine years with the phone company in that position.

During all this time I was trying to raise my family, much of that time with very little money and virtually no worldly goods. It was hard and yet we were happy. We all loved to read and as a result shared many wonderful times. My children managed to create fun out of nothing.

One of my friends at work would often talk to me about her church during our breaks and she kept saying I just seemed like a Mormon and she wanted me to let the missionaries meet with me and the children. I was reluctant because I was always so tired and had so much to do trying to keep my family taken care of and trying to better myself with schooling and working so that I could earn more money but I finally agreed to let them come. I didn't do any of the things they asked me to do, like pray about the church or read the Book of Mormon or even the many pamphlets they would give me. I finally decided I would tell them not to come again but I felt really bad about the decision. I kept thinking that I wasn't really giving it a fair chance since I hadn't done anything to really understand what they were telling me. So I decided that before I told them not to come I would do some reading and I would pray about it, sincerely pray about the church and whether I should learn more or even join. We didn't have any furniture or any light in the living room of the apartment we lived in so I went into a dark corner and knelt and prayed, pouring my heart out to God, asking what I should do about the Church and whether it was true or not. Suddenly, I felt I was in the midst of a whirling, frightening battle, a physical battle, one that was going to destroy me totally! I pleaded with God to help me live through this battle and suddenly everything just became so calm and peaceful and I was filled with a wonderful feeling of joy and I knew right then that the Church was true and that God wanted me to be a part of it. That feeling has never left me and has brought me so much joy and happiness that I cannot even begin to express my gratitude to Heavenly Father! My son had just turned 8 years old a few weeks before and he and I were baptized a week or two later and my daughters were baptized as soon as they turned 8. We all love the gospel and it has truly been what has sustained us through all the trials that followed.

My youngest child was 16 when I married my husband and he has had all three of my children sealed to him. Merging two families is never easy and there have been many difficult times but it has all been worth it."


KARA: "What makes you really happy? What inspires you?"

LAUREL: "I guess I don't really have to tell you that it is my family that makes me happy. I have to laugh as I write that because it must seem pretty obvious if you have actually read the ten gazillion things I have already said! The gospel inspires me and the love I feel so intensely from each member of my family inspires me. I am not even remotely the same nonentity that I was at 24. I love life and have so many reasons to do so."

Please join us again tomorrow as we continue this interview with Laurel.

Incredible Woman #30 - Laurel Cochrane. Monday's Questions...

KARA: "Describe yourself."

LAUREL: "Kara, I am 75 years old, mother of 3 and step-mother of 2, grandmother of 22 (including two deceased children), and great grandmother of 27 with another one being born today and one due in June. I am including my husband's daughter's children and grandchildren as my own because in truth that is how I feel about them and they about me.

I am an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and have been since 1961. It is one of my joys and has been responsible for much happiness in my life!

For a number of years I have been doing digital scrapbooking and that is one of my favorite things to do. I enjoy reading, sharing time with my family, anything to do with computers, cooking, exploring new recipes, sewing, walking, traveling, photography, baseball, genealogy, barbecues and picnics, a good play, and lots of other things. My husband and I were very involved with an air group for many years and that was a lot of enjoyment. Now that he is not physically able to do the things we did with the air group we are no longer involved but still love flying and airplanes."

KARA: "What makes you an incredible woman?"

LAUREL: "This question totally baffles me because I can't think of one thing that makes me any more incredible than any other woman! I can think of so many woman who better fit that description."

Laurel was nominated by her daughter, who thinks she definitely deserves the title of Incredible Woman!

KARA: "Describe each member of your family."

I married a wonderful man, Fred, almost 35 years ago. We had both been married before. Fred's wife of almost 30 years died in 1973 and I met him not long after that. I knew the first time I saw him that someday we would be married. I saw him in the chapel of our church and asked someone who he was. They told me his name and that his wife had died recently. I remember saying to myself that someday he would want to marry again and I hoped he would look my way. Then I spent the next two years avoiding him for fear he would see how I felt. Sure enough the time came that he thought about getting married again and he did look my way and asked me for a date. I said no the first time but when he asked again I accepted and the rest is history. We were married in the Los Angeles Temple in 1975. Fred is 14 years older than I am. He will be 90 in May and most people are shocked that he is that old even with his handicap. He is an interesting man and has lived an interesting life and as a result is a great story teller. He played minor league baseball until he was drafted a year before the second world war started. Pearl Harbor was attacked just before his year was up and as a result he spent the next 4 years in the military. Fred was a drill instructor for part of the war, then he served in England on B17's. That pretty much ended his baseball career and when he was discharged he went to work for the LAPD. After he retired from the Police Department he moved to a mountain community and became the Fire Chief. All of that was before I met him. It has been a warm and wonderful life with Fred.

I have three children, Joseph, Pamela, and Susanne by my first husband. My son, Joe, married Lynn and they have six living children, Jennifer, Kathryn, Joseph, Daniel, David, and Rebecca. Their son, James sadly died shortly after birth. Joe & Lynn have 7 grandchildren. Pam married Scott and they have five children, Scott, Amanda, Paige, Coralie, and Haeli, and they have 9 grandchildren. Susie married Rick and they have 7 children, Heidi, Michelle, Jeanie, Sam, Anthony and the twins, Jeff and Ben. They have 7 grandchildren and another one is due in June. In addition, Fred's two daughter are Christy and Cindy. Christy has two living children, Jon and Amber. Christy's son, Andrew was hit by a car when he was 7 and died shortly after. Christy also has 4 grandchildren and another one being born as I write this. (Addendum: Amelia Rose was born 45 minutes ago!) Our grandchildren and great grandchildren have blessed our lives more than I can ever express, each one delightful and special!
There are so many things about my children and grandchildren that make me very happy. Among those things are the kind of people they are, valiant and good and loving. All of them that are married were married in an LDS Temple. They are all raising good families in the gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Many have served missions both in the United States as well as abroad. They have all served in the Church in many different positions and done exceptional jobs wherever they are called to serve. My son served his mission in Alaska/British Columbia. Grandson's have served missions in Zimbabwe, Africa, Mexico, & Finland and a granddaughter served her mission in Russia. The others have served all over the United States. Another granddaughter spent a summer volunteering in an orphanage in Ecuador. There are so many other things they have done that I can't even begin to thank Heavenly Father for the blessings of family!

Joe is an Engineer and works as a Project Manager for an electronic firm in Salt Lake City. He and his wife are docents at the Church History Museum. He has taught Institute classes and served on the High Counsel and has had many other ward and stake callings. He is an exceptional teacher. He deeply loves to teach gospel subjects.

Pamela has taught seminary for the past 5 years and is loved by all her students. She has served as RS Society President, Primary President and Young Women President as well as many other positions. When Susie's son, Anthony needed another kidney after his first transplant failed, Pam spent her 50th birthday in the hospital having one of her kidneys taken out and given to Anthony. Pam is really an incredible woman and is a wonderful example of a friend to everyone.

Susie, my youngest daughter, is an exceptional woman also. She has served in so many Church callings and is currently the YW President in her Ward. She has home taught many of her children. Her oldest daughter, who benefited from many years of being home taught, now has a master's degree and teaches college English in addition to raising a wonderful family. She is currently expecting her third child. All of her children are either college graduates or are in college or headed there when they get out of high school. She and her husband really value education and seriously encourage their children in this area. When Susie and Rick's son, Anthony, needed a kidney after spending several years of his young childhood on dialysis, Susie gave him one of her kidneys on her 40th birthday when he was eight years old. Susie is a talented woman, plays the piano, writes poetry, substitute teaches at the local school, and is a wonderful mother and wife.

I could go on and on about each one of my grandchildren and great grandchildren but I don't think you want a book, right?"

KARA: "What is one thing you have learned from each one of them?"

LAUREL: "Oh, my gosh! There are so many things I have learned from each of them! One thing, right? Ok, I will try to limit it to just one thing.

When Joe was little, about five years old, my marriage had broken up, and we were driving in our old car in Eureka, California, where we lived at the time. Joe was in the front seat with me and Pam who was a year-and-a-half, was asleep in the back seat. I was pregnant with Susie. There was a terrible storm raging outside and I could barely see through the windshield. My mind was filled with a storm just as wild as the storm outside. I had no money, nobody to turn to for help, and couldn't work because the telephone company had a rule that you couldn't work after six months pregnant. I was desperate! All of a sudden, out of the darkness, Joey said, "It just doesn't seem fair." I said, "What do you mean, Joey?" He answered, "Why are some people so rich and others so poor?" I was horrified to think I had filled his mind with fear. Then he looked up at me and said the words that have helped me through all the difficult years that followed. "Why are we so rich when so many other people are so poor?" Well, I started crying so hard that I had to pull the car over to the side of the road and I just hugged him and vowed that I would never forget that it isn't how much you have that makes you rich! I vowed to always make sure my children felt rich no matter what. I know I didn't always reach that goal but it sure made me aware of just how rich I was, no matter our financial situation or how many worldly goods we had! Thank you for that gift, Joe!

Pam has been a great influence on me in-as-much as she has shown me the inner workings of family life. She and her husband live closest to me, about 30 miles away so I have more time with her and her family. Not having been raised in a family situation, I really did not know how families functioned. As I watch her with her husband and children and now with her grandchildren, I learn more every day about family life, healthy family life. My other children have also been teachers for me in this area but as I said I am closer geographically to Pam's family so I witness much more up close and personal and see some of the inner workings of how they deal with problems, how they show love to one another, how they support each other, how they teach correct principles to their children, how they balance the various responsibilities they each have, their faith and dedication to the Gospel. Pam has a gift socially, has many friends that have remained close no matter how far away they may move. Because of her example I have learned to extend myself to others more often.

One of the things I have learned from Susie is how fiercely dedicated she is to her family, and how brave she is. She is fearless when it comes to standing up for what she believes. Just a small but typical example of how she faces trouble when it comes is from her teen years. She was on a date with a young man and they were just leaving the San Diego County fair when they witnessed a young man hitting a young woman in the parking lot. The boy she was with didn't want to get involved but Susie didn't even hesitate, simply plowed into him and made it pretty plain that the violence was going to stop right then! When I think of how she could have been hurt or even killed by this bully is scares me to death but it is so typical of Susie to just take whatever action she thinks is necessary when something needs to be done. She has also taught me that no matter what kind of blow life gives you, you can still be happy and productive and grow from it. Her life was changed forever when she was sixteen and started having grand mall seizure. Medicine didn't help, only made additional problems for her for many years but she did not let that stop her from living her life. Later her fifth child was born with a birth defect that ultimately caused him to lose both kidneys and yet through all the appallingly tough years of helping Anthony not only to stay alive but to live a full and rich life she has never faltered in her dedication to him and to all of her other children. I might mention that even though Anthony does not have any kidneys right now because both of his transplants failed after a few years and he lives on dialysis, as he has so much of his life, he is still serving a mission for the Church in a trial program the Church is developing for those people who have handicaps or are homebound and yet still want to serve a mission. What a remarkable Church we have!"

Since Laurel mentioned several things about the church she belongs to, I thought thought I'd give you a link where you can read about it, and have any questions answered - for those of you who are unfamiliar with the LDS church. Here ya go...
(click on the picture of Christ)

You can also visit Mormon.org if you'd like to.

Please return tomorrow - I'll be posting 2 more questions and answers from my interview with Laurel. She is a wonderful lady, and I hope you'll take the chance each day this week to get to know her better!