Thanks to Incredible Woman #11 - Christy Alger

Thanks goes to Christy this week for allowing me to feature her on Incredible Women. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have. Christy has taught me so much, here are just a few things from this week...

PRACTICE the piano - or whatever instrument you play, "Be still" and know that God is there beside you, hang in there (I really need this advice some days!), serving others will take your mind off of things you are going through, hard work, patience, and understanding can bring together differences and create a family, loss helps us appreciate each other more, nothing is more important than being together.

Christy is wonderful isn't she?

I've done the drawing for this week's gift - Christy's CD. We have 5 copies to give away. The names of the winners are listed at the top of the blog post area. CONGRATULATIONS!!

Tomorrow will be our "under construction" day, as I get ready to bring you another Incredible Woman. I'm so excited that some of our readers have nominated women they know - please feel free to do the same. I'm fitting the nominated women in wherever I can.

Happy Halloween,
Kara

Incredible Woman #11 - Christy Alger. Friday's Question

KARA: "You have a tremendous musical talent. Can you tell us the importance of music in your family?"

CHRISTY: "My mom started teaching me piano at the age of three. She instilled in me a great love for music and a desire to become a musician. Many nights I would fall asleep to her practicing with her singing quartet or accompanying a vocal number. I would practice long hours with the goal of someday, becoming just like my mom. I was called to be the ward organist at age 13 and was teaching piano lessons by age 14. Music has brought some wonderful experiences into my life. In fact, my first husband asked me to give him piano lessons. He never learned to play the piano, but we fell in love during our lessons! Some of my most sacred spiritual experiences in life have come through music. Dear cherished friendships have been formed as we have practiced and performed music together. The most rewarding experience was when my dear friend, Julene Judd and I made a CD together. Together, we shared our testimony and love for our Father in Heaven through music. We entitled it, “My Grateful Spirit Sings.” It was the best way I could think to express my gratitude to the Lord and my dear family and friends for blessing my live so richly. The song of the righteous is indeed a prayer unto Him."

KARA: What is your advice to women?"

CHRISTY: "Hang in there! Don’t compare yourself to anyone but yourself. “Be Still” and know that He is there beside you. He knows you and loves you. Take His hand and never give up. Always remember….nothing is more important than being with the people you love. Love with your whole heart—holding nothing back!"

Incredible Woman #11 - Christy Alger. Thursday's Question

KARA: "I’ve noticed that you love working with the youth. How has serving these teenagers changed your life? You are always smiling! I’m sure there are times when you aren’t smiling but I’ve never seen that. What makes you happy? What makes you smile?"

CHRISTY: "Being with people makes me smile! I love people of all ages…… babies, 1st graders, teenagers, and grandparents! I love to listen to them talk about their lives and watch their eyes sparkle. Everyone just wants to feel loved and accepted.

For the past 20 years, I have had constant pain in my lower back and down the insides of my legs and feet. I have gone to many different doctors in search of answers. Despite surgeries, spinal injections, therapy, and tests, nothing seems to aid the pain. I spend lots of nights going from different beds and couches trying to ease the pain enough to sleep. Sitting or standing for longs periods of time puts me out of commission. It is the most frustrating, dark, and lonely part of my life. I try to keep smiling and enduring, yet I often get down. The constant intense pain wears me down.

Last spring, I found myself bedridden and depressed. I knew that I couldn’t let myself give up. I needed something to get me up in the mornings. I needed something to live for. The Lord answered my prayers through a bunch of 6 year olds. I had taught 1st grade before my children were born and I felt very impressed that it was time to go back. I wondered how I could possibly endure the demands of teaching, yet the spirit seemed to push me forward. I applied for a teaching position and soon was blessed with 26 precious little souls in my life. My pain has not let up, but my spirit has been brightened. It’s the most beautiful thing to watch the pure innocence of a child’s love. They forgive and forget, they illuminate excitement, and they sparkle with heaven’s beauty. I have found my smile again because of these perfect cherished souls."

Join us again tomorrow when Christy shares her talent with us - hint... she started playing the piano at age 3!!!

Incredible Woman #11 - Christy Alger. Wednesday's Question

KARA: What is one of your most inspiring memories?"

CHRISTY: "I have a son serving a mission in Puerto Rico. He has also served on the Antilles Islands of Netherlands. He has had to learn Spanish, Portugese, Papumento, and Dutch. He sounds happy and full of love for the people. I know that his experiences in our family prepared him to love and understand people from all different cultures. He knows how to do hard things.

He gave me one of the most inspiring experiences of my life. During his High School Senior year, he was given an assignment by an English teacher to do something in his community to make a difference for good. He studied the needs of our area and discovered that 1 in every7 children in Utah were going hungry. He decided to “Run For Hunger.” With businesses promising to give money per mile, he began running as many miles as he could in a 24 hour period. He started at midnight and ran all night. He kept running throughout the day. I drove along side of him with food and water. I watched him take each step exhausted and aching, yet determined to keep going. During the last hour of his run, our family and friends ran with him. I was overcome with pride and love as I watched him finish the gruesome end. He ran 74.2 miles and collected over $2,000. He set a goal, never gave up, and made a difference in the hearts of many. Whenever I think that I can’t go on, I think of him running and I know that I can keep going forward too."

Believe me when I say that everyone in Christy's family is just as amazing as she is. I'm so blessed to know this family. I hope you're having a good time getting to know Christy. Tomorrow Christy will talk about what makes her smile.

Incredible Woman #11 - Christy Alger. Tuesday's Question

KARA: "Tell us about your family."

CHRISTY: "Ten years ago, I awoke to the doorbell ringing in the middle of the night. I wondered who in the world would be at my door at 2:30 in the morning. I remember getting up and realizing that it was probably my husband coming home early from his fishing trip. He had planned to stay overnight, but he must have decided to come home early.

My heart dropped as I opened the door to see 2 police officers. They sat me down and explained that my husband had been struck by lightning and had been killed. My heart still aches at the memories of those words. My husband was the love of my life, the father of my 4 small children. How could we possibly go on without him?

The next morning, I gathered my children in my arms and with all of my hope and faith, I promised them that we would see our daddy again and would live with him forever. I promised them that we would be OK and that Heavenly Father would always be with us. As I spoke to my children, I felt a powerful assurance that what I said was true. Amid the tragic sadness of loss, I felt an overwhelming peace. It was like I was immersed in a cocoon and protected from the storm. I testify that the Lord was with me and we have been OK. Through tears and heartache, our faith has blessed.

As a mother of 4 children under the age of 10, thoughts of remarrying or even dating made my stomach squirm. I loved my eternal companion. How could I ever let my heart love another man? Yet, through the tender mercy of the Lord, 3 years later, I was introduced to a wonderful man. His wife had died from a brain aneurism while mopping the kitchen floor. He had 5 children and I had 4…. Could we really blend 9 children, ages 5-20 together into a family? After receiving a strong witness from the Lord that we were to be married, we took on the challenge and began our new journey together.

Well, what an adventure! As we began, I saw myself as Maria on “The Sound of Music” who could bring happiness into the lives of my husband’s dear children who had lost their mom. They seemed sad, it seemed an easy fix to take them in and love them. I literally gave everything I had to bring happiness and fun into our family. I could handle the cooking, the laundry, and the carpools. I survived when they all broke out in chicken pox, wrecked the car and the fence, and had a knock down fist fight. I tried to keep upbeat when my husband lost his job after 6 months of marriage and had to start from scratch. Life was crazy, yet, I could handle the “stuff”. It was the emotions that were tearing me apart. I had 5 teenagers with absolutely no experience! We had my children, the MaxwellITES and my husband’s children, the AlgerITES and they weren’t budging! Yet, difficult as it was, I knew in my tears, that the Lord had brought our two families together. My husband and I often felt the strength of our spouses on the other side of the veil working hard to help us. We turned to the Lord for guidance. Little by little, our family has blended together and we have love in our home. It’s been a life changing experience for all of us to see how hard work, patience, and understanding can bring together differences and create a family. Because of our loss, we all seem to appreciate each other more. We know that life can change within minutes. Nothing is more important than being together. Love can conquer all."

Tomorrow we'll continue the interview with Christy. We'll learn what one of her most inspiring memories is.

Incredible Woman #11 - Christy Alger. Monday's Question

KARA: "Can you tell us about yourself?"

CHRISTY: "I’m a farm girl from Burley, Idaho. It was there that I learned to love hard work. My children and my husband are my greatest joys. Like most women, I love shopping trips, bubble baths, chick flicks, and chocolate. My life seems to continually be scheduled super busy. I try to calm it down, but I think I’m happiest the busier I am. I love being involved and working with people….all ages, young and old. One of my favorite things to do is throw crazy themed parties for my family. Every time I take a color code test, I come out all different colors. I’m mostly blue, (serve others), but I’m also yellow (creative-a little bit of an airhead) and red (leader). Weird combinations! I love being spontaneous. I get really depressed if my life seems too routine and planned out. As a pianist, one of my greatest joys is accompanying musical numbers. Some of my dearest, most cherished friendships have been developed around the piano. Every couple months, I have to take a trip back to Idaho to my parent’s home. It is my favorite retreat! I play with my family, laugh, get silly, and eat yummy food. I don’t need spa treatments or messages, my Idaho visits fill my bucket clear full! I love to clean, organize, scrapbook, and bake. (Sounds kind of boring…but I love it!)"

Doesn't Christy sound fun?! Come back tomorrow, when you'll hear an amazing story of faith, love, and the blending of two families.

Incredible Woman #11 - Christy Alger. Monday's Question

KARA: "Please tell us about yourself."

CHRISTY: "I’m a farm girl from Burley, Idaho. It was there that I learned to love hard work. My children and my husband are my greatest joys. Like most women, I love shopping trips, bubble baths, chick flicks, and chocolate. My life seems to continually be scheduled super busy. I try to calm it down, but I think I’m happiest the busier I am. I love being involved and working with people….all ages, young and old. One of my favorite things to do is throw crazy themed parties for my family. Every time I take a color code test, I come out all different colors. I’m mostly blue, (serve others), but I’m also yellow (creative-a little bit of an airhead) and red (leader). Weird combinations! I love being spontaneous. I get really depressed if my life seems too routine and planned out. As a pianist, one of my greatest joys is accompanying musical numbers. Some of my dearest, most cherished friendships have been developed around the piano. Every couple months, I have to take a trip back to Idaho to my parent’s home. It is my favorite retreat! I play with my family, laugh, get silly, and eat yummy food. I don’t need spa treatments or messages, my Idaho visits fill my bucket clear full! I love to clean, organize, scrapbook, and bake. (Sounds kind of boring…but I love it!)"

Doesn't Christy sound fun?! Come back tomorrow, when you'll hear an amazing story of faith, love, and the blending of two families.

GIVE-AWAY WINNER... and a new Incredible Woman!

While I'm working on this blog for the coming week - we'll be featuring Christy Alger - I wanted to announce the winner for the contest give-away. The winner is Teresa, from "The Dog Lived (and so will I)" blog. In her comment, she said that she is not only a survivor (congratulations Teresa!), but also a member of a committee that just formed a Breast Cancer Resource Center--"The Pink Ribbon Place" to help other women diagnosed and dealing with breast cancer. I felt that "The Pink Ribbon Place" could really use all of the goodies in the bag, so that's why I picked her.

HAPPY DAY, TERESA - YOU WON!!!!!

I'm excited to introduce you to Christy Alger. She is one of my wonderful neighbors, and someone I've looked up to for forever. She's such a sweetheart, and I know you'll all love her. Her interview starts tomorrow morning... stay tuned.

BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH - Day 6

KARA'S STORY (blog owner)...

Today, I thought I'd tell you a little bit about my wrestle with breast cancer. Last July, I went in for a routine mammogram. The tech was good - she was able to get quite close to the chest wall. There they found a few small white spots. I went in for a follow-up mammogram, and they found more spots. The radiologist suggested I get a biopsy to check for DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ) - a non-invasive cancer. Cut it out, do some radiation, and you're good to go. In the first biopsy they found a lump that didn't show up on the mammogram. 2nd biopsy found another one. These were small but fast growing. After an MRI that looked like a snowstorm, several random needle biopsies, and a bunch of other stuff (including being HER2 positive), I made the decision to have a bi-lateral mastectomy. If I didn't do it, I had a 30% chance of the cancer coming back in one or both sides. If I did have it, the chance dropped to 7%. It was, as my plastic surgeon put it, "A no-brainer". The mastectomy was the hardest thing I've ever done - physically, mentally, and emotionally. It sucked. Then, on to 5 months of chemo - we won't even go there - and then re-constructive surgery (actually 3 of those). So, I've got one more Herceptin treatment (after a full year of those IV treatments), and one more surgery, and I'm done.

I never wanted to join this club. Never thought I would. But, we don't usually get to choose what happens to us, right? I have learned so much through this last 15 months, including how to slow down and enjoy my life. I've learned about charity and love from those who helped me. I've learned that there is more to life than going 150 miles an hour - work, work, work. I've re-programmed myself to take life at a slower pace and savor the time I have with my husband and children. Every once in a while I regret making the decisions I had to, but I'd probably do it again. Cancer is an ugly thing and we have to do ugly things to save ourselves. I'm still getting used to the "new" me. I've got a long way to go toward liking what I see in the mirror every day, but it's people like the women I've featured this week that keep me going in the right direction. I'm grateful for the chance to examine my life and change the things that need to be changed. I'm thankful to my Heavenly Father for watching over me.

My advice to women is simply to do the tests that you are supposed to do - pap smears, mammograms, etc. They are a little bit unpleasant, but we are so lucky that they are available to us. My doctor told me that if we hadn't have done the mammogram and found the white spots, then we obviously wouldn't have done a biopsy and stumbled across the two lumps that were invasive. He said I would have gone maybe 4 more years before being able to actually feel the lumps. By that time, because I was HER2 positive (something that makes the cancer grow way faster than normal), I would have most likely been in the final stages of breast cancer and he wouldn't have been able to save me. 5 years. That could have been the end for me. If you find anything that feels different, tell your doctor, and make sure he checks it out. Take it seriously. I've said it before... cancer SUCKS - you DO NOT want to find out how much.

Thanks again to all of the women - the nurses and the survivors - that have contributed this week. What incredible women you are!

BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH - Day 5

This week has flown by, and I'm kind of sad to see it ending. Maybe next year during October, I'll feature cancer survivors for 2 weeks instead of just one.

Today I'm featuring 2 cancer survivors. The first is Stephanie Butland, whose blog is called Bah! to Cancer. I love the line right under the title of her blog... Breast cancer had a pop at Stephanie. It really wishes it hadn't! Haha! Isn't that great?! The other survivor is Shelly Eyre. Shelly is one of the wonderful people who helped me at the chemo center. She runs the support groups there, and iS actually a big reason why I started writing about my breast cancer journey. She encouraged me to record everything. I just love her.

STEPHANIE'S INTERVIEW:

KARA: "What are the most important things that you've learn while going through breast cancer?"
STEPHANIE: "Going through breast cancer, I've learned:
- to look after myself. To admit when I'm tired, when I'm hungry, when I don't want to do very much, when I need someone to look after me.
- to ask for help. I was never very good at this before. I'm not that good at it now, but I'm getting better. This has also helped me to learn how willing people are to help - and how much better they can cope if they are allowed to help.
- how much I love my life. This experience has shown me that I am absolutely in the right place, with the right people, doing the right job.
- what doesn't matter. There have been things in my life that I've stopped doing because breast cancer made me realize that they didn't really mean that much to me. It's almost as though going through breast cancer has burned away everything I don't need in my life and left me happier and more secure in the things that I do do."

KARA: "How has breast cancer changed you?"
STEPHANIE: "Well, I think I'm learning to be more patient. And I think I am more appreciative of what I have. I asked my husband and he says I'm less hard on myself.
And I've got a funky new hair color (thanks to chemo), a couple of dinky little scars and a teeny tiny blue tattoo!"

KARA: "Because it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, can you give the women who read this blog some advice about breast cancer?"
STEPHANIE: "My advice about breast cancer:
Check your breasts. If you find anything unusual, go straight to the doctor. If it isn't cancer - and it probably isn't - you lose nothing. If it is, catching it earlier can save your life. I'm fairly sure it saved mine.
Ask lots of questions. (The only stupid question is the one you don't ask.)
Take notes when you go to meetings and appointments.
Keep a diary of your symptoms and side effects so that you can discuss them with your team the next time you see him.
Don't assume the worst. Just because you have cancer it doesn't mean you're going to die. Just because you're having chemotherapy doesn't mean you're going to be constantly ill. Just because you're having radiotherapy doesn't mean you're going to be permanently exhausted.
Make the most of all the help that's offered. There are charities that offer everything from counseling to hypnotherapy, to hair and make-up lessons for people with cancer, and they really help.
Trust your instincts. If you feel a course of treatment isn't right for you don't be afraid to say so. Most consultants (doctors) are treating the average/norm and you have the right to question that."

SHELLY'S INTERVIEW:

(I actually interviewed Shelly with the same questions as the nurses, instead of as a cancer survivor - but I think of her first and foremost as a survivor! Instead of writing my questions here, I think I'll just let her talk...)

SHELLY: "I am a survivor of leukemia and uterine cancer. It’s been almost 9 years now. My sister was not so lucky. She died of leukemia at 37 leaving 10 children and now my brother is waiting a bone marrow transplant because of his leukemia. So my investment in working with cancer patients is a natural flow from my life.

I always say I have a JOY, not job. I am so lucky to work with so many amazing people and to help a little on their journey. I run all the support groups and classes at the Central Utah Clinic and we call our space “The Healing Place”. We talk about moving from surviving to thriving, about healing your life. Sometimes that means being cured of disease, sometimes not. Healing is often a deep spiritual process. Healing relationships means asking forgiveness, forgiving, expressing gratitude and love. When you have said and done all of that Healing happens. I am honored to witness this healing everyday.

Cancer changes your life and you are never the same. People who can get to a place where they can see the gifts of cancer are always changed for the better. I lost everything during my three year process. I learned it is just stuff. What was most important was the relationships that endured the ups and downs of that time. The circle of my life had always been large. Cancer made it a deep and meaningful circle. Life is such a gift and I am thankful everyday."

Thank you, ladies. Tomorrow will be the last of our Breast Cancer Awareness week. I'll write a little about my cancer journey, and then we'll move on to next week's Incredible Woman!!!

Cancer SUCKS!

BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH - Day 4

It's Thursday already! This week is flying by. Today I'm going to be featuring another nurse from the chemo unit where I received my treatment. Her name is Breanna Fawcett. I'll also be featuring 2 cancer survivors, Christina Olachia (The Uniboob Club), and Laurie Kingston (Not Just About Cancer). You guys ROCK!

BREANNA'S INTERVIEW:

KARA: "Why did you choose to work with cancer patients?"
BREANNA: "I don't feel very much like an incredible woman. I am just lucky enough to work where I do. Ever since I started as a nurse I've been drawn to oncology. I was very nervous starting at the chemo clinic. I thought that it would be sad and depressing. It's the opposite. My patients make me happy, they make me smile. They remind me why I do what I do. Some of the most amazing people I know I've met at work! I don't think I do what I do for the patients, it's what they do for me and what they teach me about life."

KARA: "How do you come to work each day with a smile on your face?"
BREANNA: "Some days I don't come to work with a smile. I guess I'm human and have my grumpy days :). It quickly changes when somebody comes in and we laugh and joke and banter. My patients make my day, then it's easy to make theirs! When I look around at what I'm grumpy about I have no reason to be, and I tell myself if someone who has cancer is happy then I should be too!"

KARA: "Has there been a patient that has changed your life?"
BREANNA: "Thinking about this, I don't think I can name just one. There are so many. Everyday I take care of someone and I think, "Oh, I just love him/her." Then I think the same about the next person. I am so grateful for the examples of love, courage, strength, patience, compassion, etc. Sometimes we have such a good time in the chemo room and we laugh and play, sometimes we cry together. We spend lots of time together and we become friends!"

KARA: "What is the most important thing to know about breast cancer?"
BREANNA: "I don't know what the best advice to women is...probably catch it early! Do your exams, etc. Don't ignore anything you think is different."

CHRISTINA'S INTERVIEW:

(Christina and her boys, Joshua and Micah, this month at the Komen walk)

KARA: "What is the most important things that you've learn while going through breast cancer?"
CHRISTINA: "I have learned to take life one step at a time. Not to get too wound up in the material things life has to offer but instead to be grateful for what I do have. What I know is all the things this world has to offer can't make us happy but all the memories we make together can last not just in this lifetime with me, but with my children and be passed down to their children, and so on and so on. I have learned to be at home with who I am and to take the time with my family and my closest friends as a gift. When I heard the words breast cancer I was a bit in shock. I had to dig deep into my faith and ground myself in it. I found peace and strength in who I was, who I am and began seeing my life differently.... with a new lease on life. I would say in the end I stopped worrying about tomorrow and began living fully in the herE and now as a wife, a mother and a daughter."

KARA: "How has it changed you as a person?"
CHRISTINA: "I would say as a women it has changed me most. Of course there are the obvious things like my breast, my hair and all the new scars all over my chest. But I would not say they aren't positive changes. Don't get me wrong here I am not jumping up and down doing a happy dance here. But breast cancer has brought many dear and wonderful women into my life. I am a better person for our shared struggles. Breast cancer has also changed me in a way I did not expect as it has made me comfortable in my own skin. Losing a breast and your hair as a women can be incredibly devastating as they are both parts of the female body that say to the world who we are right? So I have to say losing both freed me in ways I never knew I could be freed. I still have not completed my reconstructive surgery all this time later and maybe I never will. I see these scars and the disfigured lump where a breast used to be and I count my blessing because I am here today. I am not afraid anymore to just be me."

KARA: "Because it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, can you give the women who read this blog some advice about breast cancer?"
CHRISTINA: "Be aware! I know we hear these words a lot during the month of October and many times we may get tired of hearing about this cancer. I know from experience people tune it out while hearing blah blah blah BUT breast cancer is a killer. It affects both men and women and over 40 thousand deaths are anticipated this year alone from this terrible disease. Breast cancer is the second leading cause of death in women in our country, so you have to be aware of any changes in your body and not ignore the signs. Do your breast self exams and don't put off going in for a your mammograms. Most of all don't ever say " I am too young for breast cancer". I was 32 years old with no family history when I was diagnosed with stage 2 triple negative breast cancer ( TNBC is a very aggressive form of breast cancer accounting for just about 15% of all breast cancers out there). If I had put off going in to see my doctor when I discovered a lump in my left breast I would not be here today."

(Christina's blog is one of my very favorites. She has this one picture on there that is so cool - it's a woman's eye with a pink ribbon reflected in the pupil. LOVE it!)

LAURIE'S INTERVIEW:

(Laurie was kind enough to answer my questions, even though she wasn't feeling well right after her chemo treatment. Been there, done that, so I know how she feels. Thanks Laurie)

KARA: "What has having cancer taught you?"
LAURIE: "Having cancer has taught me that you can find joy and humour in even the darkest places."
KARA: "How has cancer changed you?"
LAURIE: "The biggest change in me is how I am learning to live in the moment, to take pleasure in the here and now. I am happier because of this. I also find that being more 'present' has opened the door to my creative spirit."

Laurie has written a book called "Not Done Yet, Living Through Breast Cancer". You can order it through Women's Press (click here)

Such wonderful women, don't you agree. Tomorrow is the last day of the features for breast cancer week. 2 more cancer survivors! I've been thinking maybe I'll share a little bit of my experience with breast cancer on Saturday. I hope you'll return.

Oh - and just a little plug for the give-away... if you are a cancer patient, a cancer survivor, or know someone who is, PLEASE comment sometime this week and tell me why you want that super cool bag loaded with PINK stuff (see the sidebar for pictures).

Take Care.

Cancer SUCKS!

BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH - Day 3

Today, I'll be featuring 3 cancer survivors. The first two are women whose blogs I read... Tracy Kudrna (Breast Cancer & Me) and Debby Hornburg (Life's Funny Like That). Congratulations on being survivors, ladies!

The third is my good friend, Janie Squire. Yes, she is a former Incredible Woman (actually, she's still incredible - I'm talking about her feature in our first week of this blog!). She helped me so much through my fight with breast cancer - just wanted to honor her again.

TRACY'S INTERVIEW:

KARA: "What is the most important things that you've learned while going through breast cancer?"
TRACY: "The most important thing that I have learned is that the world is a broader place than I ever thought. My friendships, outlook and experiences have broadened since being diagnosed. I have met so many incredible women who have reached out to me or I have reached out to because we share the same experience. It opened my eyes to the strength, determination, graciousness and kindness of people in a way that I never expected."

KARA: "How has it changed you as a person?"
TRACY: "Breast cancer changed my priorities and perspective. I do not get stressed about things that don't matter anymore like traffic or work politics. I realized that the most important thing in my life is my relationships. My friends, my family, my community, other survivors and my relationship with my self. We can get through anything if we have each other."

KARA: "Because it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, can you give the women who read this blog some advice about breast cancer?"
TRACY: "The best advice I can give someone who is diagnosed with breast cancer is to be their own advocate. Do research, get different opinions, ask for help when you need it and question your treatment options. No one knows what the best course of action for you is better than you. Take every possible action you can to know that you are fighting with all of your might."

DEBBY'S INTERVIEW:

KARA: "What is the most important things that you've learned while going through breast cancer?"

DEBBY: "Probably the biggest thing that I learned while going through breast cancer was this one thing...I was always kind of the aloof person who never felt she had much to offer, or that she fit in especially well. I was always there to help others. When I got cancer, for the first time in my life, I realized that I was loved, really loved, by others. I was embarrassed by the outpouring. Meals, and gifts, and cards. Everyone wanted to help. I learned that it is just as faith growing to be ministered to as it is to minister to others."

KARA: "How has it changed you as a person?"
DEBBY: "I love better. I can show my feelings better. And I'm also more conscious about what constitutes a good life. I really find myself prioritizing things, living life more attentively, as foolish as that sounds. I pay attention to things, and I notice the small stuff, the things that make life full and rich, and I am grateful to God for that."

KARA: "Because it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, can you give the women who read this blog some advice about breast cancer?"

DEBBY: "I am the poster child for early detection. Truly. My first mammogram was the diagnostic mammogram after I found the lump. I've always been a physically strong and healthy person. I took things for granted. There was no direct family history of breast cancer. I simply put my head in the sand and ignored everything. I was an idiot! And speaking of idiots, I've gotta say, one thing that I DETEST is hearing some women carry on about how excruciatingly painful mammograms are. I'm going to sound very unsympathetic here, and I apologize in advance, but really. SHUT UP. Number one: You've got no business deterring other women from having the procedure done. Number two: It's a lot less painful than being sliced and diced, and chemo'd and radiated. Get the test done. It's quick. It's uncomfortable, but it has a beginning and an end, and really the two points are not that far a part. Make that appointment today."

JANIE'S INTERVIEW:

KARA: "What is the most important things that you've learned while going through breast cancer?"
JANIE: "Most important thing that I've learned going through breast cancer is that it can happen to anyone. No one is immune. We cannot assume that it will not happen to us because it "doesn't run in the family" or "I'm too young" etc. We cannot
take things for granted."

KARA: "How has is changed you as a person?"
JANIE: "Going through this experience has taught me to be of service to those around me. It has instilled a desire in me to make a difference in people's lives.
There is so much we can be doing for others! We need to take a look around! When one goes through trials, priorities change. We learn what is important in life. To me, that is my family. I love my family. I treasure the time that I have with them and want to continue creating memories with them. So I will continue to be diligent in my breast cancer screenings!!"

KARA: "Because it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, can you give the women who read this blog some advice about breast cancer?"

JANIE: "My advice for women is to go get that mammogram! Yes, it is embarrassing, a little painful, etc... BUT it is not as bad as surgery, chemo and radiation. Early detection saves lives. There has been tremendous advances in the treatment of breast cancer and early detection is the key. Please get checked. If there is any doubt in the results, get a second opinion. Demand an MRI. Do what it takes to save your life. Listen to your heart. If you feel that something is not right, follow through with those promptings."

I love talking to cancer survivors - they are so inspiring!!! Join us tomorrow to meet 2 more cancer survivors and another one of my nurses.

BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH - Day 2

Today, the featured Incredible Women are Annette Merzlock, one of the nurses who worked in the chemo room - yep, she's one of the people who poisoned me! Haha. I really love the nurses there - they helped me so much... they were always kind and smiling, and they would do anything to make you comfortable. They'll get you a pillow, a cup of ice, a snack, make sure your nausea meds are working, etc. What wonderful women. I hope to be able to introduce you to more of them this week. The other woman I'm featuring today, is Iris Smale, a breast cancer survivor, whose blog, "Me and Breast Cancer" is one of the blogs I read. Congratulations, Iris!

ANNETTE'S INTERVIEW:

KARA: "Why did you choose to work with cancer patients?"
ANNETTE: " I wasn't really planning on it but was offered a job on the Medical/Oncology floor of the hospital as a new nurse. I loved working with the patients there. When offered a job full time at the Oncology Clinic I couldn't turn it down. The BEST people in the world get cancer, it's just unfortunate that they do get something so challenging. But then again, isn't that what makes us stronger? I never thought I could work with cancer patients. As a young child I watched my brother suffer tremendously from cancer, and the nurses at Primary Children's Hospital inspired me. I later became a nurse, but didn't think I could face the pain and suffering cancer can impose on a life. I was wrong! It's the most rewarding place I could enjoy working. I appreciate the opportunity to endure this with so many friends and wonderful people that enter the chemo room every day."

KARA: "Has there been a patient who has changed your life?"
ANNETTE: " I think every day I have life changing experiences working with cancer patients as I view their courage and the battles they face. I admire so many of my patients' ability to stay positive, to forge on without thought but for a positive outcome, and just live in the midst of so many obstacles. Most people aren't just dealing with cancer, it's multiple obstacles in every day life. So, to see their strength and endurance throughout the cancer experience is absolutely life changing. I appreciate knowing the patients and learning about them. If I named particular people I wouldn't have enough time to list them. It's also inspiring to watch these people change through their experience. It's like they have a 2nd chance at life. They become the people they want to be. They value the important things in life - that's life changing in itself."

KARA: "How do you come to work each day with a smile on your face?"
ANNETTE: "It's like I have a room full of best friends. They ask about my life, I love finding out what's happening in theirs. How couldn't that put a smile on your face? You know, so many times a patient will bring in something to say thank you, and it always amazes us as nurses. We feel like, "Don't worry about us, you're the one who's not feeling well. We are worried about you!" Nonetheless, they still take time to say thank you and focus their concern on us, and it's absolutely amazing. We work with the best people here in the Oncology Clinic. It puts a HUGE smile on your face every day!"

KARA: "What is the most important thing to know about breast cancer?"
ANNETTE: " I don't think I'm qualified to answer this question. Those who've been through the experience could answer this better than I. One thing that's always important though, is that the earlier the cancer can be detected, the better the results; but don't give up hope if that doesn't occur. It's not uncommon for doctors to miss the cancer in the beginning, because there aren't clear cut signs most of the time. Cancer is usually masked by something else. Another thing to remember throughout the experience is that you need to be patient with yourself. It takes a while to make you sick, and it will take a while to get you better. We live in such a fast pace, get-it-done-now society. Cancer puts the patience back in your life!"
--Annette Merzlock, RN, BSN, OCN (registered nurse)

IRIS'S INTERVIEW:


KARA: "What are the most important things that you've learn while going through breast cancer?"
IRIS: "Put all my dependence on God and His ability to take care of me, and not to take the future for granted."

KARA: "How has having cancer changed you as a person?"
IRIS: "I try and live more in the present. The past is gone and we can't get it back, the future isn't promised and may not be ours, all we really have is today - make the most of it."

KARA: "Because it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, can you give the women who read this blog some advice about breast cancer?"
IRIS: "Absolutely! Don't be shy about getting a second opinion. Doctors are not always right, that's apparently why they call it "practicing medicine". Do research, ask questions, ask lots of questions and be sure you get the right answers. Get copies of every test - yeah, you may have a drawer full, but that's okay. And doctors have to give you copies of your own information. Learn what the test results mean. Yes, have your mammograms and tests, but you know your body better than anyone else. Do self exams!!! I found a lump just before my scheduled mammogram, told the doctor and they noted it on the mammogram. Radiologist said don't worry, it's just cystic. It got bigger, Dr said not to worry. I confided to a nurse friend and she insisted that I get a second opinion. I had Stage IIB Breast cancer. Don't be paranoid, but don't let doctors brush you off or rush you. There's a world of information out there in today's world - find out what you need to know so that YOU can make your own decisions. Sorry, I kinda get on my soap box about this subject!"
--Iris Smale

What wonderful women. This week is making me happy! :-) Tomorrow is another day to celebrate cancer survivors and their caregivers...

Remember, cancer SUCKS! You DO NOT want to find out how much. Take care of yourself.

Week 11 - Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Featuring Aimee and Sara...

Today, I'm going to be featuring Aimee Demille, who is my oncologist's medical assistant. She was the lucky one who got to weigh me, check my blood pressure (only on the right arm, please!), and my temperature, etc., before my doctor saw me each time. She is always smiling and makes an unpleasant situation much more pleasant! Thanks Aimee! I'm also going to be featuring Sara Williams, a breast cancer survivor, whose blog I read. Congratulations, Sara!

AIMEE'S INTERVIEW

KARA: "Why did you choose to work with cancer patients?"
AIMEE: "Well I didn't exactly choose to work in this department, or should I say I didn't know I was going to be. I applied for the job and when I got an interview is when I found out, and I thought to myself sure I can do this... Boy was I in for a surprise. This job is not easy. I get attached very easily and it's very hard to watch and see what patients go through. At first I thought I can't do this - I can't handle it - it's too hard. But then I had a talk with my dad who is a very wise man, who gave me some good advice. He said, "Aimee just think - it could be worse, and look at it this way, you're helping the patients out by being there and smiling and asking them how everything is going." So from then on I told myself I am going to keep doing that and keep a smile on my face. And I do - everytime I see a patient, I smile, which I have never had a problem doing anyway!"

KARA: "Has there been a patient who has changed your life?"
AIMEE: "Yes there have been patients that have changed my life. In fact, I think every single one of my patients has changed my life for the better. They have the best attitudes, it just amazes me."

KARA:"What is the most important thing to know about breast cancer?"
AIMEE: "This month is Breast Cancer Awarness Month. I just urge all the women out there to do the self exams and get mammos when needed - such early detection is the best key in staying ahead of this."

THANKS AIMEE!

SARA'S INTERVIEW:


KARA: "What is the most important things that you've learn while going through breast cancer?"
SARA: "I have learnt to treasure and value the little things in life and to not focus on the bad. I have especially learnt to take each day for what it is and how it comes. I make time for the things I never had time for before because I didn't appreciate the value and frailty of life, things like playing and talking to my children, stopping a moment to appreciate the beauty of the landscape. I have learnt not to take anything for granted."

KARA: "How has is changed you as a person?"
SARA: "I have become stronger as a person because of cancer, I am able to endure so much more than I previously could. I don't worry over things so much, its easier to dismiss the things that really do not matter, so I no longer fret about storms in teacups!! I now know what it is like to suffer and I can appreciate the suffering of others. My faith has strengthened and I have a deeper understanding of the love of God."

KARA: "Because it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, can you give the women who read this blog some advice about breast cancer?"
SARA: "Check yourself regularly and if you notice anything different, get it checked out immediately, you have to face cancer head on. Early detection for me meant that the cancer had not spread to my nodes, this means that I was able to have a lumpectomy, and only sample nodes removed. In turn this meant that I didn't have to endure the stronger chemo or more intensive radiotherapy. Ask lots of questions, do research and ask for the treatment you want. Let those who are treating you know of your fears and they will help you overcome them. If you have any side effects from treatment at all, let the professionals know and they can give you things to relieve them, do not suffer in silence. Finally, I would advise you to talk about it, cry about it, get angry .... get all of the frustrations out of your system so that you can move on and deal with cancer in a strong way."

I hope you've enjoyed the first day of going PINK! Are they just lovely ladies?! Tomorrow we'll feature a few more women, and hopefully, as the week goes on, there will be more and more each day. Enjoy your day.

PINK WEEK - Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Ok, so I promised I'd tell you all what is going to be happening on this blog this week... we are going PINK for Breast Cancer Awareness Month! Some of you might be aware that I am a breast cancer survivor. I was diagnosed with non-invasive DCIS and invasive cancer one year ago - August 2008. I had a bi-lateral mastectomy and 5 months of chemo, then reconstructive surgery. It's been a long year, buT I'm still here - alive! And that's the important thing. So, in honor of all of the women who have walked that long road that I've walked (and crawled at times)... I'm going to feature several breast cancer survivors. I'm also going to be featuring several of the nurses from the chemo unit at the Huntsman - the people who have helped me and taken such good care of me! Each day I'll feature a few different people. I asked the nurses one set of questions, and the cancer survivors a different set of questions. I'm really excited that so many have responded. I did a post a few weeks ago on my breast cancer blog - 10 things that will help you when it comes to breast cancer. I'm going to post that on Saturday. Also, on the 15th of every month, I do a reminder post on my cancer blog about self exams. You can also click on a button on the sidebar of that blog and help women get mammograms for free. Here is the address, if you haven't had a chance to visit yet...
www.foobbabe.blogspot.com

If you know anyone who is a breast cancer survivor, and would like to see them featured here this week, get me their email addresses ASAP!

I hope you're looking forward to this coming week as much as I am!!!!

Thank You Paige!!!

Another great week has flown by here at Incredible Women. I'm so happy that Paige agreed to be featured here. She really is incredible, right?! I've learn alot from her this week - here are just a few things...

Try to eat a healthy diet. Drink lots of water, exercise. Some great goals - become debt free, raise happy successful children. Trials are no fun, but they do make us stronger, trials help us become who we are - they shape us into good people, they are the Lord's way of molding and shaping our character. Listen to the answers you pray for and don't second guess yourself if the going gets tough. One of the most important things we can possess is the gift of charity.

Thanks so much, Paige, for sharing yourself with us.

I'm sorry there wasn't a give away this week - it was my fault, not Paige's. I just never got around to putting it up on the blog. In fact, I haven't announced winner for the last several weeks. Sorry about that. I'll try to get a post together announcing winners, and there will be a give-away next week, I promise.

I'm excited for next week. I'll let you know why tomorrow some time (here's a clue - PINK). Stay tuned...

Incredible Woman #10 - Paige Moore. Friday's Questions.

KARA: "What is the most important thing you’d like to accomplish in your life?"

PAIGE: "The most important thing I would like to accomplish is to truly possess the gift of charity. This is something that I don’t imagine I will fully possess in this life, but I am trying. I fall tremendously short, and it is a constant battle. The Savior has said that without charity, we are nothing. This is the greatest love of all…”the pure love of Christ.” I think that charity is not only a “feeling of love.” It is a choice to love, an action word. As we put this love into action and serve others, over time our hearts will change and we will be start to feel love towards others. Even for those who are not easy to love. I love what Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf said in the LDS General Conference session this October: 'Try, and keep on trying, until that which seems difficult becomes possible. And that which seems only possible becomes habit, and a real part of you.'"

KARA: "Tell us your beauty secrets! Also, what is your guilty pleasure – if you had one day to do anything, what would you do?"

PAIGE: "Water, water, and more water! I drink a lot of water. My goal is at least 8-8 ounce glasses a day. I feel it helps flush the impurities from our bodies.

I have been religious about washing and moisturizing my face since I was a teenager. I do not sleep in make up……ever. My favorite product is Arbonne. I love Arbonne! Whatever you use, it is so important to moisturize. Also be sure to wear sunscreen everyday!

I take daily vitamins and supplements. Calcium is very important for all women! Fish oil is another supplement I take every day.

At the risk of repeating myself, I feel so much better when I exercise. I know it is good for my body and health, but it is even better for my emotional well-being. It just makes me feel better to know I exercised that day. I used have a more rigorous exercise routine and worked out longer, but since bringing the girls home I have had to curtail my routine a bit. Now I rotate days between fast walking and free weights. I feel that cardio is important, as well as free weights. When we use weights, our bodies burn more calories when we are not exercising.

I also believe in dental hygiene and am almost OCD about brushing my teeth and flossing. There has been found to be a link between poor oral hygiene and heart disease, so it is not all about looks.

It is important to love myself because if I do not, then it will affect everything about me, even the way I feel about others. When our moms used to say “If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love others” they knew what they were talking about. This love will portray confidence and an inner beauty. Beauty on the inside shines through! If we do not love ourselves, then it will be easier to try to find fault in others to make ourselves feel better. This is not portraying beauty. When we love ourselves, we will be able to love others.

Positive thinking! I can’t always say I do this, but when I see myself letting those “negative” thoughts creep in, I stop and count my blessings and that usually gives me an attitude adjustment.

My guilty pleasure is chocolate. I try to limit how often I eat it though because I have been known to get carried away!"

Wow, what a wonderful interview. I'm so lucky to be able to interview women like Paige. She is my sister's friend - someone she met through the adoption process. I feel like a really know her now. Thanks, Paige!

Incredible Woman #10 - Paige Moore. Thursday's questions

KARA: "What is your favorite word? Tell us why it’s your favorite."

PAIGE: "I have to bend the rules here a bit and tell you my favorite thought. I use it as my as my signature sign off in my emails because it is my reminder! It is:

"Never doubt in the darkness what God told you in the light"

Often in my life I will pray and I will receive an answer. Then as I obey and then if things get hard, I second guess myself or think that perhaps I mistook the answer. In the past, I have been under the false impression that once we receive an answer that everything should be easy and smooth sailing. However, life is not like this. As I have gotten older and become more familiar with the scriptures, I realize that it is usually not easy. If God tells us to do something, we should “drop our nets and follow immediately” and not question Him. It was not easy for Noah when he did as the Lord commanded and preached repentance and built an ark. He was scoffed at for 100 or so years. It was not easy for Jesus when He was following God’s plan and had people beat, spit on, and crucify Him. I can not compare myself to Noah or Jesus, but I can try to obey and keep the faith that I had when I know I received a clear answer. (On the other hand, I will say that sometimes we tend to think we received an answer because it was the answer we wanted to receive but, in reality, we did not get that true confirmation. If this is the case, we should humble ourselves and pray for further guidance. This is not what I am referring to. I am speaking about the times we KNOW we have received an answer.)"

KARA: "Have you been able to serve others during your life? What kinds of service projects have you done?"

PAIGE: "Thankfully belonging to the LDS church, I have had many opportunities to serve on a regular basis. I have had the opportunity to serve as the Young Women’s President, Primary Counselor on several occasions, Enrichment Leader, Primary teacher, pianist, and numerous other callings. I truly believe that when we are in the service of others, we are in the service of our God. Just as we read in the scriptures. We can serve others every day. Service does not always have to be a huge effort on our part. It can be as simple as a phone call to check in on someone, a smile, a kind word, or even a hug. An example I would like to relate on how a small act of kindness helped me when I was a child: I remember one day when I was at Primary (children’s organization) and I was not in a very happy mood. I do not remember why, I just remember sitting there feeling and probably looking pouty. I was sitting on a row all by myself, when the Primary chorister wanted to sing the song, “Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam.” She told the Primary children that there was a beautiful sunbeam in the room. She pointed me out and said that I was so sweet and suddenly I felt special. That was nothing “big” to anyone else, but to me it made me feel important. She probably didn’t even realize she had done anything special for me. If I can still remember it over 30 years later, it must have been “big.” As I said, I don’t even remember why I was sad, but I do remember the profound effect her kindness had on me that day. In the scriptures we are told that by small means, big things can happen. I truly feel that a small act of kindness can sometimes help someone in a very big way.

As I was in the process to adopt, I was given the opportunity to work at the adoption agency. I helped parents put together the “dreaded” paperwork. I was also able to travel to Guatemala and take pictures of children at orphanages or in foster care and send these pictures to their waiting families. I was told by many parents that it helped them to know that I understood what they were going through because I was going through the same thing. I received numerous calls, just wanting a listening ear. Sometimes they just needed their frustrations to be heard. Not that I could always help, but a listening ear from someone who understood sometimes just helped them get through another day. I feel that I received greater rewards than the people I helped. This is usually true when we are able to serve. It was a wonderful opportunity. I was sad to give up my job when Guatemalan adoptions closed."

Incredible Woman #10 - Paige Moore. Wednesday's questions

KARA: "Do you have long and short term goals? Tell us about them and how you plan on achieving those goals."

PAIGE: "Short term goals: I would love to go back to college and earn my degree. This has been on my mind for a long time, but I have wanted to give my new girls time to adjust to our family before embarking on such an adventure. Eat a more healthy diet.

Long term goals: I want to raise happy, successful children. I really want to be debt-free! We have been careful through the years with our finances, but I will say international adoption has left its toll on us financially. We knew we had the money to raise more children, but the fees to adopt a child can be quite substantial. There were A LOT of extra fees that we had not planned for and our adoptions took so long that the foster care fees piled up monthly. We had no idea what we were truly getting ourselves in to when we began the adoption process. Another long term goal on my list is that I would love to become involved in missionary work and serve a mission with my husband when the children are grown. At some point in time, I would also love to work with adoptive families and attachment therapy."

KARA: "I’m sure you, like everyone else, have gone through trials during your life. Tell us about those trials, and how you were able to overcome them."

PAIGE: "Yes, we have had many trials. There is only one common denominator that has gotten us through these and that is faith in Jesus Christ. He has sustained us through our many trials. I believe that these trials have strengthened us individually and as a family unit. Of course I could make a list of our trials and tell how we got through each one, but that would bore everyone and take forever. I will not do that, but I would like to tell about the way the Lord assured us He was there even when bad things happened.

When we were young and I had a very young baby (our 3rd child), we were going through a very hard time financially. I attended a class on self defense and crime prevention. I brought the baby with me. (Now as a side note, let me add that my babies were all “spoiled” babies and loved to be held and would cry during meetings. They were never the kind that liked to sit in their car seats, so I usually did not bring the infant car seat in with me because then I had to carry a purse, diaper bag, infant AND a car seat.) But, this particular night, as we got out of the car to go in I had a feeling I should bring the seat in with me. I waivered back and forth trying to decide if I really wanted to deal with that car seat. I decided to go ahead and bring it with me. After learning all about safety, crime prevention, and self defense we returned to our car. I had just had a baby recently so I admit I was absent-minded, so I didn’t think too much when I returned to where I had parked my car only to find there was no car there. I looked thinking I must have parked somewhere else. Then I noticed in that exact spot there was a lot of broken glass. Realizing the car had been stolen, I called the police to make a report. Later that night, after I had returned home, our panicked conversation was similar to this, “What are we going to do? That was our only car! We have no money to buy a new car!” I suddenly felt the strangest calm. I told Rob that I had no idea what was happening, but it was all going to be okay and explained the calm, almost happy feeling I was having.

Sure enough, our car was located in the middle of the night. It had been beaten and stripped of everything that had been inside of it. Even our umbrella! As strange as it may sound, I then realized the Holy Ghost had told me to take that car seat in because if I hadn’t, that would have been taken too. I realize that sounds like such a small thing, but it reassured me that if the Lord was concerned enough about us that He knew we could not have even afforded to buy a new car seat then surely He will sustain us through even bigger trials. As it turned out, our full repair bill was paid because the man called and told us they were assuming that responsibility because he felt the parking lot had not had sufficient lighting to discourage such acts in the parking lot and we had not even asked for such a blessing. The Lord took care of us in what was a very scary time for a young, struggling couple.

An even bigger trial happened in the summer of 2008. We came home from our daughters’ dance recital to discover that an upstairs toilet had been overflowing for over 5 hours and as a result our whole downstairs was ruined. We did not have flood insurance, so we thought our house was going to be a total loss. There are no words to describe the despair we felt as we watched water pouring from every imaginable place. I never dreamed water damage could be so devastating. My sister happened to called as water was pouring from every nook and cranny and suggested we call our insurance company to find out if it would be covered. We doubted it because of the lack of flood insurance, but we decided to give it a try. They sent someone over to start the process of drying out our house. That seemed promising so we started to think things would work out, but little did we know we still had the battle of our lives ahead of us. Sometimes we wanted to just give up because our insurance adjuster did not seem to have a humane bone in his body. I have to say that before we knew for certain the insurance was going to cover the damage, once again I had that sweet, comforting feeling return and I knew that somehow we would be all right. Three months after the event had occurred we finally received the check to cover everything. Because the damage had not been caused by a natural flood, everything was covered!

Trials are no fun, but they do make us stronger. I would not be the person I am now if it were not for the trials I have endured. The Lord carries us through these trials. It is His way of shaping and molding our character. I realize that I am still a work in progress, but I just hope that as I continue to have trials that I will handle them with dignity and always with a prayer in my heart. We have been told in the scriptures that after our trials, we receive blessings. I can testify that this has been true in my life."

Paige sent me a bunch of great pictures, so I made a slideshow for her - take a minute to peak at that. Come back and visit as we continue our interview tomorrow. I'm really enjoying this week on Incredible Women - I hope you are too.

Incredible Woman #10 - Paige Moore. Tuesday's questions

KARA: "I understand you have adopted two little girls from Guatemala. We would love to hear your adoption story."

PAIGE: "We had five biological children and figured our family was complete. However, as I prayerfully read the scriptures (over a period of time in the year 2005), I kept feeling as if I had a work to do. I felt there was something specific the Lord wanted me to do. I started praying and asking that if there was something the Lord wanted me to do, that He would please help me to know. More time passed, and I did not feel I was receiving an answer and began to question myself about this whole feeling. One day as I was on the phone with a friend (not about this feeling I had been having. We were just talking about other things), it hit me exactly what He wanted me to do. The feeling was so strong, that I was unable to speak. My friend kept asking, “Paige, are you okay? Are you there?” Finally I regained composure and confided in her what had been going on. I was scared so I behaved somewhat as Jonah did when the Lord told him to go to Ninevah. I tried to hide. I was not sure that I could start such a journey because I felt as if things were fine as they were. I even prayed that this thought would leave me, but the more I prayed, the more the opposite happened. The feelings grew stronger and the desire consumed my heart. I still did not mention this to my husband. I suspected he would tell me I was crazy! Finally after a few months of “hiding” I approached my husband with this subject. He never did say I was crazy. He was really surprised when we already had a house full. But, he prayed about it and received the same answer. We started the process and after more prayerful consideration, we felt the Lord’s gentle pull towards the country of Guatemala. We thought that since the Lord clearly told us to do this that everything would go smoothly and fall perfectly in to place. Well, things did not happen this way. Apparently there were more lessons we needed to learn. It seemed that any problem that could happen, did happen. A whole host of problems including financial, severe problems with the birth mother’s paperwork to the point of being told we may not even be able to complete the adoption of one of our daughters, major lies and bribery of attorneys, etc. It did make us question if this was really the Lord’s will for us. Each time we prayed, He confirmed once again that this was what He wanted for our family. Finally in October 2008 we brought home our first daughter from Guatemala. Almost 2½ years after we accepted her referral. About 2 years longer than we had anticipated it would take. There had been major problems with Guatemalan adoptions. Up until this point, these adoptions could happen as quickly as 6 months. Then just 5 weeks after bringing Madison home, we returned to Guatemala and brought home our second daughter. I can testify that this is the Lord’s work because every step of the way was met with an incredible amount of opposition."

KARA: "Do you have any advice to offer those families who are interested in adopting?"

PAIGE: "Yes, I certainly do! My first bit of advice is to pray and make sure that this is what the Lord wants you to do. If you are sure it is, be prepared that it will not necessarily be easy. Let Him lead you in the direction that is best for your family. I honestly believe that God puts different kinds of adoption into our hearts. For example, if He told everyone to adopt internationally, then what would happen to our children in the foster care system here? Whether you adopt internationally or domestically, let Him guide you. Don’t fight Him. (I learned this the hard way). Do not let others’ comments sidetrack you. If you have received personal revelation that you should add to your family in this way, it is between you and the Lord.

Make sure that you are working with a reputable agency or attorney. Get feedback from anyone you know who has adopted. Ask how they felt about their agency. Pray about the agency before you begin. We almost got involved with a very shady agency because the man was so nice on the phone, but after praying about it, we did not get that peaceful “go ahead” feeling. Later we found out about many others who had lost thousands of dollars and never received a child.

Educate yourself by attending seminars, workshops, reading books on adoption. Go out of your way to talk to others who have adopted. Usually, adoptive parents are willing to give wonderful advice. Prepare yourself in every way you can. Read with an open heart and mind. Do not brush over things and think that everything will be easy for you. If you are adopting a child of another race, read information put out by adult adoptees and take advantage of their experiences about issues they would like to have had addressed in their lives. Learn from the mistakes of others.

Realize that when you bring your child home, your trials may not be over. We may think we are rescuing a child, but that child may not realize they needed to be “rescued” or even want to have been “rescued.” After all, that was the only life the child had known up until that point. It is hard for a child to be uprooted and he (or she) may be worried that you will give him away also. In fact, that child may try to push you away because he may not want to get hurt again. Don’t assume that it won’t happen to you. Assume it will and then if it doesn’t, you can be pleasantly surprised. Do NOT take these behaviors personally. Try to imagine how you would feel if this happened to you as a child and you had no control over it. It will take time!

If you already have biological children or children adopted as newborns, be prepared that you may not love your newly adopted child as much as you love your existing children (biological or adopted, really) immediately. Sometimes love takes time. Relax and do not focus on this fact. Sometimes love is a choice, or an action. If you adopt a child who is older, remember you are getting a child who already has certain habits, personality traits, etc. You can’t waste time “beating yourself up” if you do not have that “rush” of loving emotions. Love is not always a noun, it can also be a verb. We always hear about children who have a hard time attaching, but believe it or not, adults sometimes have a hard time attaching to their newly, older adopted children. Be patient with the child and be patient with yourself!

Enjoy your child. Get to know him (or her). Take it a day at a time. There will be trials, but the joy far surpasses these. It may just take some time. Sometimes love comes gently."

I'm so glad I asked Paige these questions. I really hope this part of the interview will help those who are trying to make that decision to adopt. Please pass this on to those you know who need it - or just refer them to this blog. Thanks so much, and we'll continue the interview tomorrow. Have a great day.

Incredible Woman #10 - Paige Moore. Monday's questions

KARA: "Paige, tell us about yourself – hobbies, talents, etc. Why are you an incredible woman?"

PAIGE: "First I want to thank you for this opportunity. When I found out I had been nominated as an “incredible” woman, my first thought was, “Wow! How exciting!!” Followed by “But I am not so incredible, I know so many people who have done more than I have.” But, then I thought about it and the Spirit reminded me that because I am a daughter of God, I am incredible! That does not mean I am perfect or have it all together, but it means if I allow God into my life every day and rely on Him for all things He can help me become the really incredible person I strive to be. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” -Philippians 4:13

I grew up in Jacksonville, Florida. There were seven children in my family. We had a very traditional family life. My father worked at the Post Office and my mother was a stay at home mom. She was a school crossing guard. I realized early on that I had a heart for adoption and pleaded with my parents to adopt. They relented and we adopted a girl from India (via a disruption).

Rob and I have been married for almost 24 years. We have 5 biological children and just this last year we brought home two little girls from Guatemala. We met when I was 16 years old and he was 18. His family had moved to Florida from Nevada. We dated until he left on an LDS mission to Calgary, Canada. Then after he returned, we got married. I was just 19 years old and he was 21. Wow, we were young!

I enjoy many things, but give me a good book and I will be happy! I could read all day, if I had no other responsibilities. Playing the piano is also something I really enjoy. If I am feeling down, I sit and play something uplifting and I feel better immediately. We home school, so in my spare time I like to look for ideas to keep that exciting. Right now, another important interest for me is educating myself on adoption and adoption-related issues. With a large family, there is not a lot of “me” time, but I feel so much better if I am able to exercise. I try to exercise at least 5 days a week. This is the way I prefer to start out my day. Getting up before the little ones is the only way I can squeeze this in to my schedule."
KARA: "Tell us about your family. Describe one thing you love about each of your children."

PAIGE: "I have a wonderful husband who helps in every way he can. Not matter how bad I feel I look, he tells me I am beautiful every day. Rob loves the Lord and serves his family with his whole heart. He also serves at our church as the first counselor in the bishopric. He has been very involved in our childrens' lives and is a complete “hands on” dad. He has been a scout master, has coached baseball, football and basketball. He even volunteered to do a dad’s dance in our daughter’s dance recital one year.

Tyson is 22 years old and is the strong, silent type. He is a deep thinker and is trying to decide what he wants to do with his life. He graduated with honors. He was a great athlete, but that was not his love. Tyson can play a mean guitar. He is a kind big brother and has a great heart. He is a very responsible worker.

Jordan is 19 years old and is a missionary in Honduras. He is an awesome missionary and loves serving the Lord. He also graduated with honors and is a natural athlete. Jordan is the one who almost broke me, lol. He was extremely active and busy. Thankfully, he has geared that energy in to a positive direction. He has a great sense of humor and the younger children actually read his baby book for entertainment so they can laugh at the funny things he said. An example, when he was three years old we had a General Authority visit our church. He came up to Jordan and shook his hand and asked Jordan if he was going to be a missionary. Jordan said, “NOPE! I am going to be the bishop.”

Brianna is 16 year old, but will be 17 on October 13. She is an awesome student and a talented dancer. I think she was born to dance. She used to walk around on the front of her toes when she was little. She is full of life and has a positive personality and is an enthusiastic learner. She is good at whatever she tries. She is a great big sister. She is homeschooled, and dual enrolls at college so she is also earning college credits.

Tanner is 11 years old and is our little scientist. He is very detailed and keeps us straight. “No we didn’t leave the house at 2 o’clock. We left at 2:07.” He loves boy scouts and basketball. He loves to read and is a big Harry Potter fan. He is very kind-hearted. He aspires to be an astronaut and loves to learn about the universe.

Brailyn is 7 years old and is our second comedian of the family. We never know what will come out of her mouth. She had a desire to go to school this year and take a break from home school. After praying about it, we agreed. She has a great teacher and is very happy. She also takes dance and loves to put on plays and do crafts. She is very loving.

Madison is 3 years old and came home from Guatemala in October 2008. She is an active, happy girl. She loves to sing, jump, eat, talk and tattle-tell. She is learning what love is. She has a great deal of fear at times and worries that we will not always be there to love her so we are making it our full-time job to help her know that we will. She really loves going to nursery class at church.

Zoe is 2 years old and came home from Guatemala in December 2008. She is also dealing with fear, but not as much as her big sister. She is loving and sometimes will even cuddle. Zoe loves to sing! She loves Barney the dinosaur. Everyone loves to hold Zoe. She makes some of the best faces.

We enjoy family time. We love to play games and do things together. Rob is a great guy to have around when it is time to cook out. We love cook outs!"

Please visit again tomorrow, when I'll have two more questions/answers in my interview with Paige.

Thanks to Kelly!

I should have written this post yesterday - sorry it's late! My son had surgery, so I've been a little busy. I want to thank Kelly Anderson for allowing me to feature her this last week on the blog. I learned so much from Kelly - here are just a few things that really made an impact on me...
Your number one weapon in times of trial is faith (I really believe this), create peace by "Filling your bucket" so you have something to offer others, set aside time daily for stillness. Let uplifting thoughts run through your mind when you're lost and broken. Pursue your passions, friendship is a gift from God, drink lots of water (I'm really going to do this in the coming week), and it's important to see myself the way God sees me. I also am really inspired to make a Vision Board. I'm going to start on that this week as well.

What a great week, right? Tonight I'm working on updating this blog with our new Incredible Woman - Paige Moore. I can't wait to introduce her to you tomorrow, so don't forget to come back then.

One last chance to win one of the prizes that Kelly is giving away... for those women business owners here in Utah - 5 tickets to either the Salt Lake or Utah County chapter meetings in October (Startup Princess). And The Magic of Marketing to Women Online audio series, perfect for bloggers and women in business. You must comment on this post or email me at kara.incrediblewomen(at)gmail.com and tell me what your business or business idea is. The drawing will be tomorrow.

Until then...

Incredible Woman #9 - Kelly Anderson. Friday's questions

Here are the last two questions of my interview with Kelly...

KARA: "What are some of your long-term and short-term goals, and what are your plans for achieving those goals? Is goal setting an important thing to do?"

KELLY: "As I shared on Studio 5 I’m a huge advocate of vision boards, giant journals, and goal setting. I believe that a goal is just a wish unless you make an action plan. In regards to business, you need a solid business plan, for other goals, you need to set tangible, realistic goals, have a friend to support you and sometimes a mentor as well.

My Long-term goals: Continue Supporting and Developing Opportunities for Orphans in Bulgaria with One Heart Bulgaria, Finish a full Triathlon, See my children graduate from college and families of their own, Become a Skilled Horseback Rider/Jumper, Perform and Sing in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Support Women Entrepreneurs in America with setting up Grants and Scholarships, Live a year abroad and travel extensively, Go on a Mission for my church with my husband, Continue teaching, writing, and sharing how others can fulfill their dreams.

My Short-term goals: Finish our first year of Homeschooling and be proud of the results, Have another baby, Rent a Cottage in France with my family, Finish my book on Faith & Entrepreneurship, Build my Coaching Program and Events for Startup Princess."

KARA: "What are your beauty secrets? What do you do daily that helps you be your very best?"

KELLY: "If you don’t believe deep down that you are beautiful (inside and out), you’ll never take care of yourself in this way. I believe that is one of the hardest challenges we have is to see ourselves the way God sees us. Take some time to look in the mirror and just look at yourself, specifically look at your countenance. Are you radiating love? Light? Purity? Beauty? Look at your eyes, the shape of your nose, your lips, your hair and ask, “What do you see God? Teach me.” Connect with Him and you will see that you are beyond gorgeous, you are His child, His princess. Then ask, is there something I can do to make my exterior match my spirit more fully? Ask to be guided to know what you need to do to enhance your natural beauty.

What do I do? I drink water, lots of it. I try to avoid white flour and white sugar, processed food in general. I take supplements, including fish oil. I believe in exercise but don’t always do it (one of my goals is to increase my effort here!) I whiten my teeth. I get facials twice a year and use great skin care (M2, Sothys). I dye my hair and take care of it with weekly deep conditioner (I use Buttercream by Redkin). I have eyelash extensions and love them, I never wear mascara. I shape my eyebrows and darken them. I use Mac make up for photoshoots but for everyday I just use Revlon or Covergirl, works great for me because I know how to use brushes. I always use bronzer for that “sunkissed glow” makes me look more awake when I’m tired. For fashion I scour the magazines and see what colors, styles, accessories are hot and try to wear those things that best fit my personal style, body shape, and make an effort to stay current.

I feel like I look better now in my mid-30’s than I ever looked because I’m paying more attention to details, care more about how I present myself to others and actually wear make up and style my hair. When I was a young mom I cut my hair in a pixie cut, rarely wore make up and wore sweats a lot, I didn’t have very much confidence in my appearance and my life didn’t reflect one of service, joy, or progress. Now I realize the power of image for my own benefit and how others react to me when I care about myself it sends a completely different message - “I have something to share! I care about myself and I care about you too, let’s connect.” I hope to inspire more women to SHINE and take care of themselves and be beautiful inside and out."

Well, Kelly has definitely inspired me this week. Hope you've all enjoy Incredible Woman #9!
Take Care...