Incredible Woman #4 - Jyl Pattee. Monday's questions

Kara: "Tell us about yourself (i.e. age, hobbies, talents, family, etc.). Why are you an Incredible Woman?"

Jyl: "I'm a mom to 2 boys, wife to 1 funny guy, and dog owner to one yellow lab named Parley Noelle. I'm half from Arizona and half from Utah and somewhere in the middle of both, I lived in Argentina, Ecuador, Germany, and Texas. I used to speak a lot of Spanish. I love to travel. I've been to 32 countries and US 43 states and am in a competition with my husband to see who can reach all 50 first. I also love to read; play the piano; hang with friends, especially if we're getting pedicures; plan and host parties; and used to be a writer in a not to distant former life.

I don't know that I'm Incredible. I don't have elastic arms and legs or anything, but I have be known to be resilient and I try and not let my limitations stop me. Two of my top values are abundance thinking and inclusion."


Kara: "You’re the mom of 2 really cute boys. Tell us about them. What do you do to spend time with them? What is a typical day like for you?"

Jyl: "Our day starts at 7:30 when we get up and get the kids ready for school. My husband takes them in the morning and I pick them up in the afternoon. I love the drive home from school, because it allows me to have uninterrupted time with them when I can learn about their day. My favorite thing to do with my kids is go on play dates. We love Discovery Gateway and Thanksgiving Point and Kangaroo Zoo. We are partial to Draper Park and in the winter, love the Carl's Jr. Playland down the road."

NEW INCREDIBLE WOMAN - COMING TOMORROW

UNDER CONSTRUCTION - Check back tomorrow for the start of week #4 - featuring Jyl Pattee, Founder of Mom it Forward. I can't wait to share this Incredible Woman with you!!!!!

Thanks to LoriAnne...

I'm sure you'll agree with me that LoriAnne is another incredible woman! She is actually my best friend! We met years ago while our husbands were still in college. We had our first two babies at the same time - those kids are all friends. This week I've learned lots from LoriAnne. Hopefully you have, too.

Here's what I learned:
Just like me, she doesn't have as much time to devote to reading as she'd like to have, she enjoys her adult son as much as I enjoy mine, working outside of the home is something that is rewarding, rely on your calendar to keep yourself organized, make sure your kids like what they are doing - and maybe let them do just one or two things instead of everything, if you want to write - write something that you feel passionate about, friendships are essential for a woman's well being, use whatever makeup you feel comfortable with, learn to enjoy the way you look.

Thanks so much, Lori, for letting us into your very busy and full life. It's been a pleasure for our readers to get to know you.

If you have any questions for LoriAnne, please email me at kara.incrediblewomen (at) gmail.com and I'll forward them to Lori. We'll be announcing the winner of Lori's homemade salsa and pear jam on Sunday!

Stay tuned for another Incredible Woman next week!

Incredible Woman #3 - LoriAnne Spear. Friday's questions

Kara: "Tell us about your beauty routine. What do you consistently do to keep looking young? Give us some advice and tips."

LoriAnne: "I don’t think I look younger than I am anymore. I used to, but oh well. I don’t really have a beauty routine. I wash, moisturize, and put on make-up, although I am a big fan of facials, just not paying for them. I’m not married to just one product line. I like some Mary Kay products, some Clinique, some L’Oreal, and some Maybelline and Cover Girl. One thing I have learned is to be more accepting of what I really have. For years, I’ve straightened and then recurled my hair on big Velcro rollers. But recently I’ve been more willing to just let my hair be itself – kinda curly. It’s not the beautiful spiral curl like my little sister has, that I wish I had. But it is what it is. And so instead of always blow drying, flat ironing, teasing up the crown, and spraying it in place, now I often just wash and let it do its thing, with a little help from product and my fingers. It does save me time. It’s not glamorous, or even that attractive, but it’s okay, and it’s mine. I inherited it from my dad, and he from my grandma, who got it from her dad. So I’ve just decided to embrace the curl, it’s part of who I am. Besides, my grandma warns me that I could be like her and wish I had the curl back when my hair goes gray. Learn to enjoy and make the most of what you have while you still have it."

Incredible Woman #3 - LoriAnne Spear. Thurday's questions

Kara: "I know you’d love to be a published author. How are you going about
achieving that? Talk about some of the books you are working on right now."

LoriAnne: "I do like to write, and I have been working on a book for a couple of years (working is a relative term though) and almost wish I’d never mentioned it, just in case I never finish it. When I’m writing, I feel very much myself; not a mom, a wife, a daughter, employee. Just me. I can write for long, long periods of time, but not often enough. Sometimes, I can’t get one page done. But I like my characters, and the storyline, and if it ever gets to the point where I let anyone read it, I’ll let you know. Sometimes, I just like to write about something that I feel passion for. For instance, here is something I wrote about one of my favorite places. There is no prescribed form, I just started to write as if I was explaining why this place is important to me: Anyone who knows me has heard me talk about “the cabin.” Our family cabin (it’s really my Grandma’s) is named Moss Haven, there is even a sign right next to the front door, and it has been in the family since 1955. It’s very small, and has running water in the kitchen sink, but didn’t have electricity until I was a teenager. I had my first birthday there, and my grandma used to take me and my younger brother and sister up there with her when we were little kids, and we’d spend a lot of each summer up there. To me, there is something peaceful and calming about being there. The air feels different, my senses have memorized the color of the sky, the rustle of the aspen leaves, the smell of the wood burning cookstove as my grandma would start a fire each morning, the warmth of the sun on my face as I sit on the porch in the morning still in my pajamas. It’s where I learned to dip my bacon in maple syrup, drink all my milk, play UNO and Old Maid and old board games like Aggravation and Chinese Checkers. It’s where I learned to build a fire in the stove, chop wood, make sure the kindling bucket was full, wash dishes by hand, and hang the rugs over the clothesline and beat them until they were less dusty. I got used to using an outhouse, even though it was always scary to go out there at night. My dad and uncle hung a swing for us out in the aspen trees behind the cabin – it’s so much more fun to swing from a tree than from a swing
set! We’d beg my aunt or my grandma to take us on yet another motorcycle ride for the umpteenth time (it was really a small motorbike). After several rides, my grandma would suggest we take a walk instead, and while walking taught us the names of the wild flowers, and which bird was singing. We used to walk down to the river to watch my dad and grandpa fish, or walk to the beaver pond to see if we could be quiet and spy a beaver swimming near his lodge. When we didn’t see it, for some reason we thought we could persuade it to come out by dropping the quiet act and instead tossing rocks into the pond. During long cabin afternoons I also learned what going visiting was all about. For a child it’s where you go for a long walk to go call on other cabin neighbors in the middle of the afternoon, for no other reason than just to say hello. And if you’re a child, you sit still and listen as the adults talk, and you eat the cookie they offer you, even if it has raisins in it. It was always more fun if they let us go up to their loft and play and look around. When cabin neighbors would come to visit us, the dog’s bark would alert us, and we’d tidy up quickly, put the games away and sit out on the porch with all the adults for awhile until we were excused to go play. I never remember doing this kind of thing in my suburban neighborhoods. I learned that cabin neighbors are very close, even if the cabins themselves are far apart. At night, there was a coziness in the cabin that can’t be found in a suburban house. Each night after we got washed up in the wash bowl with water warmed on the stove and then in our pajamas, my dad or grandpa would light and hang the propane lanterns from hooks in the ceiling. Then my sister and I would lie on the couch under the heavy old quilt, and my grandpa would sit in his chair by the door, and my grandma in her chair by the fireplace, (my brother would be too much of a busybody to lie still and listen) and we’d listen to the news, then old radio show Mystery Theater, along with the hiss and occasional pop from the lanterns. I’d sometimes get scared from the suspense of the storyline and the dramatic music, but often I’d fall asleep before the mystery was solved, later to be nudged awake, and I’d sleepily climb the stairs with a flashlight and go to the bed that I shared with my sister. Our cabin is one of my favorite places on earth. I missed it greatly when my family moved to Denver, but I used to come back and visit for a week or two each summer, and my grandma would even let me bring a friend, an absolute necessity as a teenager. Now my kids have been going up to the cabin all their lives, and it’s how they’ve gotten to know their great-grandma so well, and now I’m the one who tries to teach them what I learned up there. Our cabin is truly our “Moss Haven” and is a part of who we are."

A few pictures of good times at the cabin...

Kara: "You are still in touch with a bunch of friends from high school and college. Talk about the importance of friendship. Do you think friends are necessary for
women? What are some of the things friends can do together to stay close?"

LoriAnne: "I guess I do hang on to my friends, sometimes whether they want to or not. No, just kidding. But I was fortunate enough as a teenager to have an extraordinary group of kids in the Southglenn LDS Ward in Littleton, Colorado. It didn’t matter if you were school nerd goody-goodies like me and my friend Amy, or if you were a long-haired, rebel guitar player in a basement band. We were all part of the group, and we belonged to each other. We were very tight, and there was some dating amongst us, but that was mostly just for practice really. We got together every weekend night to have our “get-togethers.” This was started by my future husband Steve and his sister. We would play games, hang out, or watch a movie on that new thing called a VCR that Steve could bring home from his work at a video store in the mall. Still even while in the midst of high school, we knew and appreciated the special bond we had, and now that we all have families, we still know where all of us are, and we know about each other’s kids. Sometimes we talk often, sometimes just a couple times a year. But we will always be there for each other. As far as women and friendships go, I think they are essential for woman’s well being and sanity. A husband cannot handle all the venting or deep analysis of subtle innuendos and whether an implication was intended or not, that a woman needs a friend to muck through with her. Even little girls know this. I think one of the best books on the subject was written by two dear friends Ellen Goodman and Patricia O’Brien, called I Know Just What You Mean. I don’t know if it’s in print still, the copyright date is 2000. I got it off a used book table at a library. I’ve loved it and I wish I could buy one for all my girlfriends!"

Incredible Woman #3 - LoriAnne Spear. Wednesday's questions

Kara: "You work outside of the home. Can you tell us the pros and cons of having an
outside job?"

LoriAnne: "Working outside the home was something I never wanted to do. I was proud in some ways of my mom, for always having the wherewithal to do it, but she also liked being out in the world with other adults, and she was very good at what she did. It was fulfilling to her. She was an example of a strong and independent woman, but I didn’t want to work outside the home, I wanted to stay home and “play house” so to speak. But economies and circumstances overruled, and I found myself looking for a job in 2006. With three boys who would all be doing college and LDS missions simultaneously, it wasn’t possible to keep pretending the money would appear from thin air. So, fortunately, I was able to get a job in the department at BYU where many of my old professors still were. That helped a lot, made me feel at home. Since I’ve been working these past three years, there are some things I’ve discovered. I like being out there… I’m good at what I do, and I enjoy the challenge, and I like being able to contribute something to our income. Of course, the drawbacks are that I can’t just drop everything and go to lunch with a friend, but actually in the past couple years, many of my friends have found themselves also working outside the home. We are in the same boat, and that helps in a big way. Not like it was for my mom, when most moms stayed home and mine didn’t. I give myself permission to not be perfect in housekeeping and laundry (well, I guess I have to admit that I’d already done that before the job, but now I can do it legitimately). Still, I’ve had to learn to speak up to my boss and let them know when I need to leave early or come in late if one of the kids needs me to, and now I don’t have a problem with that. They are still more important than the job, any day, and I’ll leave it if they need me."

Kara: "Your kids do a lot of extracurricular activities. I’ve been impressed with how organized you are when it comes to juggling all of these things. Tell us about those activities and talk about ways to “keep up with your kids”."
LoriAnne: "It’s really just keeping one calendar with all the activities listed for everyone on it. I also tape up all the schedules we get from coaches or teachers on the inside of my pantry door. It also helps that my boys are able to drive themselves to their activities, or pick up their sister from hers. Before they could, I wasn’t working and I was a real taxi driver. I used to think that I wanted to provide them with every opportunity under the sun, just so they have the chance to explore it: voice, sports, piano, community theater, dance, gymnastics, scouts. It was too much, and they weren’t enjoying their own lives. They were stressed. Let them choose one or two things, just make sure they have true interest in it, and you can honestly afford it."

Incredible Woman #3 - LoriAnne Spear. Tuesday's questions

Kara: "Lori, I know education is very important to you. Can you tell us about your experience of going back to school to earn your degree when your kids were all older? Was that a hard decision to make? Talk about what you did to make that work.:

LoriAnne: "Going back to school was something I always wanted to do. I was one of those school nerd girls, who loved the first day of school, new pencils, new books, new teachers. I love to walk into a library and wish I could just inhale all the knowledge and stories in that place. When my husband called me from work one day eleven years ago and told me he was being transferred to an office in Utah County and that we should probably move there, the second thing out of his mouth was that now I could go back and finish my degree. After we were settled and the kids were in school, except for 3 year old Melia of course, I started looking into even seeing if it was possible – getting readmitted, the cost, what to do with Melia, all that seemed overwhelming, and I hadn’t even started thinking about papers and tests and stuff like that. But it was like eating an elephant, just start with one bite, just do one thing that moves you toward that goal. I called admissions and asked some questions, and before I knew it, an admission application and instructions arrived in the mail. So I just continued to take one step at a time. Get the ecclesiastical endorsement interview, look at what classes are offered, and before I knew it I was registered for an evening class. I started out small, just one religion class, I figured I hadn’t lost all knowledge in that area. I gained a little confidence with that first A, and I remembered how much I loved learning. The next semester was fall, but I didn’t want to leave Melia with sitters while I pursued this. So I applied to have her attend the preschool on campus, and she was accepted – and we both got to go to school. It was a great time for the two of us. I’d drop her off and go to two or three classes, then sometimes we’d go to the Courgareat for lunch, both of us with our backpacks on. Sometimes I’d see other students from my classes, and they were sometimes surprised that I had a kid. What was more surprising was when we’d see a student Melia would know, one of her student teachers, and they’d call out to her, and she’d call back in her little Minnie Mouse 4 year old voice “Hi Mr. Ben” or “Hi Miss Kim.” We’d have long walks back where I had to park the car, and she was always tired by the time we’d get home and take a nap (yay!). Then I could get a couple things done before the boys got home from school. During her kindergarten year, I couldn’t go to day classes; you can’t really do much when you have a kindergartener, so I just took one night class once a week that year. When she started 1st grade, and my oldest was 13, I figured I had a small window of time to hurry and finish while she was old enough for me to be gone, and my boys weren’t old enough to get into too much trouble, before they were teenagers. That was 2002, and I crammed as many credits into that Winter, Spring and Summer terms as I was
allowed to do, also doing a research internship that semester (thanks to Kara and her family for being my test subjects!). It was careful planning, but it was possible, but then I had to actually do all the work for that credit load. To that I must give credit to my husband. I was like a teenager in the house – I didn’t do the laundry, the grocery shopping, the dishes, hardly any cooking, never knew what the checking account balance was, didn’t worry about the monthly bills and budget. I rarely could help the kids with their homework. I went to school, came home, interacted a little bit with other family members, and then I studied and wrote many papers. Steve took on all of this, so I could finish. I will always be grateful to him for handling everything those crazy, stressful 8 months. I graduated on our 16th anniversary, and I feel like that was a gift he gave to me. I will always treasure the memories of those family members and friends, even Ellen who traveled from California, who supported me and believed in me, especially those times when I was so overwhelmed I wanted to give up. It was one of the hardest, but most rewarding things I’ve ever done, and I was so happy for myself that I finally did it."

Kara: "As a mom of both boys and girls, can you tell us which is easier to raise? Why?"
LoriAnne: "From my experience, boys are harder on your house and cars, girls are harder on your emotions and checking account!"

HEY EVERYONE - TODAY IS LORI'S BIRTHDAY!!! PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT AND WISH HER HAPPY BIRTHDAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LORIANNE!

Incredible Woman #3 - LoriAnne Spear. Monday's questions

Kara: "This week we'll be featuring LoriAnne Spear - our 3rd Incredible Woman. LoriAnne, tell us a little bit about yourself. What are your hobbies, talents, beliefs, etc. Talk about what you do to have fun. What makes you happy? What makes you an “Incredible Woman”?"

LoriAnne: "I am 43, born in Salt Lake City, lived here until I was 10 and then moved to Littleton, Colorado. Came back to Utah to go to college, and have lived in Utah most my married life, here in Cedar Hills for 11 years. I have been married 23 years to Steve and we have four children, 3 boys and a girl. I work at BYU’s Linguistics Department as a secretary over the TA’s/RA’s, and payroll manager. I’ve been there 3 years. I love to read, but don’t have as much time as I’d like. My book group keeps me going though, in keeping that hobby alive. I enjoy gardening, both flower and vegetable, but hate weeding. I spend too much money on flowers, but I love the results. I enjoy crocheting and needlework, and my sweet, patient friend Ellen has introduced me to the world of quilting, and I am currently working on my first quilt, with lots of her help. I love to travel to places I’ve never been to before. Thanks to my husband’s job, all his travel and his frequent flier miles, I’ve been to places I wouldn’t have otherwise been able to see. I love getting together with other couples and having a cheap date night with a pot luck dinner and then games, or watching a video or college football game. The food is always so much more delicious and it’s free. No crowds, no waiting for a table, no smell of movie theater popcorn making me want to buy it!"

Kara: Tell me about your family. Describe your kids and tell me what you like to do with each one of them.

LoriAnne: Jeff (21), Riley (19), Tanner (18) and Melia (14). Jeff returned from his LDS mission in Calgary Spanish speaking in January. Riley is currently in the New Jersey (Spanish speaking) LDS mission, and Tanner is leaving for Brigham Young University on Aug. 23rd. We will just have one little birdie our nest. I can feel this new phase of life starting, whether I’m ready for it or not. I enjoy Jeff in a new way now – as an adult. He’s a young fledgling of an adult, and it’s sometimes enjoyable, but sometimes scary to watch him figure out how the adult world works. My advice is probably too much offered, but it’s most rewarding when he realizes something on his own, and just does it. I love that he worries about me now and then, and gives me spontaneous hugs much more than he did as a teenager. Riley is on his mission, and it’s that wonderful little stage where you get letters about how incredible the gospel and the atonement are, and how much he loves and appreciates us. He shares with us his frustrations and how he works through those. He is a sunshine-y guy, always has been and I miss him and his hugs and his laugh, but
wouldn’t want him anywhere else. Tanner is our comic relief man. He has a great love and ability in theater, and even as a little toddler sought out ways to make us laugh and get the spotlight on him. He has a hilarious sense of humor and irony. He is the hardest working student I’ve ever seen, and is looking forward to realizing his dream of attending BYU (I’m not being dramatic – it’s honestly been his fondest dream for most of his life) and he is a huge sports fan. He keeps us appraised on how many days and hours are left until the Cougars’ opening kickoff. Melia is always my babygirl, even if on the first day of school this year, she wouldn’t let me come out on the porch in my bathrobe to take her “first day of school” picture. I had to take it from inside the door as she stood trying to look uninterested on the porch. After all, her friends were waiting for her on the sidewalk! She is a walking paradox – a tough, sweaty, down in the dirt soccer player one day, and then a primping, coy little cheerleader the next."

Come back tomorrow to enjoy two more questions/answers about LoriAnne.

Coming Monday - Incredible Woman #3, LoriAnne Spear...

Visit us tomorrow, when we will begin our feature on Incredible Woman #3, LoriAnne Spear. Lori is the mom of 4 kids - ages 21, 19, 18, and 14. She is an aspiring author, a former PTA president, works at BYU's Linguistic Department, and has a Bachelor's degree that she got while her kids were all younger. Amazing!!! Come back and meet her - I can't wait to introduce you.

Thank You Kristin!

Thanks so much, Kristin, for being our 'Incredible Woman' this week. So, I have something cool to tell you: Kris is my sister (I know you're jealous that I get to hang out with her ANY TIME I WANT)! Even though I know everything that has happened to her in her life, I still learned so much from her this week. I hope you learned some things, too... Take lots of pictures! No one's kids are perfect! Drink lots of water! Move on (from trials)! There is always someone who is worse off than you! Pray every day for strength! Live in the moment and enjoy it! Practice makes perfect! Take care of your skin morning and night! Set goals and strive toward them every day!

Oh, and don't talk so much while you are traveling, and you won't get LOST!

If anyone wants to contact Kristin to ask additional questions, or get advice, email me at kara.incrediblewomen(at)gmail.com. I'll be happy to forward any questions to her. If you'd like to review all of Kristin's "favorites" and "advice" from the sidebar, just go to Archives and click on each label, and that will take you to those separate pages.

This blog will be changing today and tomorrow, and we'll be featuring a new Incredible Woman on Monday. If you want to suggest some of the women you know to be featured on Incredible Women, shoot me an email. Please leave email addresses or phone numbers so that I can get in touch with the women you suggest.

Until next week... Take care.

Incredible Woman #2 - Kristin Johnson. Friday's questions

Kara: "I recently read this quote: “The hero is one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by.” (Felix Adler) Do you have a hero? What about that person inspires you?"

Kris: "My hero is my sister. We talk almost every day and yet as I read her blogs I still get insight into her feelings- I think she is an amazing person and love her so much! When we were young I never thought we would be close- she is 3 years older, and I was just the pest little sister. Then she was gone and I went through the tough teen stuff alone. Then she was REALLY gone when they moved to the other side of the country for 12 years! We got to see each other about once a year, and I went to see her wherever she was when I had a new baby to show off! I admired her from afar for a long time, I longed to be like her, from the time I was little. She is an exceptional pianist, (I never could do it!), she is beautiful on the outside as well as on the inside, she is compassionate, loving, a wonderful mom, a hard worker and the best friend. When her husband landed a job in Salt Lake I was so excited- it was hard to believe she was finally coming home! I couldn't wait to begin a new adventure with her! She is the voice of reason when I need someone to figure things out for me, the first I called when my son was diagnosed with diabetes, the first person I told about my pending divorce, the first one I told about this great guy I was friends with, who is now my wonderful husband, the first person I call when my life is crazy, my mind can't wrap itself around why we are struggling, the first one I told about our adoption plans, the first one I talk to when my kids break my heart and I don't really think being a mom was a good idea to begin with! She is the first to come to my defense and set me straight when I am wrong- though always in a loving way! She is my sister, but she is also my best friend. This last year when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, I felt like my insides were torn out. WHY HER? I had lost my sweet sister-in-law after watching her fight it for almost 10 years just a year before. This is NOT happening I thought. NOT POSSIBLE. NOT HER. The pain I felt was so intense I could hardly stand it. I cried for days, but on the outside I tried to be strong for her. I held her when she cried and told her everything would be fine. I tried to tell myself the same thing too. When she went in for her bi-lateral mastectomy, I sat at home waiting for a call to tell me she was out of surgery. I cried for hours. When my mom called, I was relieved, yet so heartbroken. It was all I could do to get in the car and drive to the hospital to see her. Her husband, Rick, was in the hall and I asked how she was - as the nurse was checking her, we waited. A man of few words- I could see the worry in his eyes, could tell his heart was breaking and he was in so much pain- he said "She's doing OK", and thanked me for coming. He treated her with such tenderness and love, I knew how much he truly loves her. I don't know if she even remembers me being there when she woke up a little- I tried to help him make her comfortable, adjust the ice on her chest, pull up her blanket, hold her hand, all things that seemed so useless to me. I cried all the way home. The next few months I watched this amazing person go through so much it was hard to bear. One of the hardest things I have ever done is cut off her beautiful hair and shave her head when the chemo started to make her hair fall out. I stood there, as her husband and boys watched and felt so humbled. Afterward I hugged her and told her she was beautiful. Again my heart was breaking. Again I asked God WHY?!!! Then the appointments to the plastic surgeon started. I tried to go to every one with her. I missed a couple and that was hard. Her Dr. was so nice and as we sat in these visits I tried to make her laugh - though she was the one making me laugh most of the time! Her Dr. really believes we are crazy, I think! So every appointment I would stand by the side of the bed and hold her hand while he stuck this HUGE needle into both sides of her chest and filled the expanders to stretch the muscles for her reconstructive surgery. I know how much she HATES any needles, and she was so brave, she just held on and got through it every time. The pain was so intense, especially toward the end she could hardly put her arms down at her sides. I ached for her so much, I wished it was me and not her, I wished I could take it away from her. The last couple of months I have seen her go through her reconstructive surgeries. The disappointment in her eyes and her voice at the results, the knowing she will never feel "normal" again, it all puts everything into perspective. As her hair grows back in, and she has a smile on her face more often, she is becoming her "old" self again. Her laugh is contagious and I love being around her. We had a blast driving to Arizona to see our grandma together- as usual we got lost- several times- because we talk so much, we miss exits and take wrong roads! But the memories are awesome. I wish we could do it more often. I know that like many of our lives, hers is changing every day. It is hard to see her struggle, her body has changed, she looks a little tired, she moves a bit slower sometimes, but this will all get better with time. She is still the same vibrant, beautiful, funny, intelligent, sister I know! I just want her to know how proud I am of her, she is my inspiration, she is my hero, if she can get through all of this, I can face anything that is thrown at me. And I thank God everyday that she is still here with me to help me do that."


Kara: "What is your greatest goal in this life? How will you accomplish that goal?"

Kris: "Gosh I have so many it is hard to choose! I am starting back to school this month and will have my degree in Ultrasound/Radiology by the time Ellie starts first grade, I plan to go on to get my bachelors in mammography. It will be alot of hard work, and I stress that I won’t be able to handle it, but I am going to do my best and see what happens! I think it is important to set goals and strive to reach them every day, even if they are small daily, weekly, monthly goals. I am trying to teach my children to set goals and work hard to accomplish them, to be a good example, and make it happen! I guess THAT is my greatest goal in this life, to teach my children, to be a good example to them, to help them through their life struggles because I have learned so much from mine. I want to be strong for them through hardships, and share the tears of sadness and joy though out their lives. I want to see each of them marry their best friend, I hope they all have learned that from me. I want each of them to know they are special, they are important and they are loved! I want to watch them all become parents and listen to them cry on my shoulder about their struggles and pray I know the right thing to say. I want to leave a legacy of compassion, fun, laughter, caring and most of all love. I want them to all remember me for the good things, and to know without a shadow of a doubt how much I love them and Dave! That is my greatest goal for this lifetime, to be happy and for my children to be happy and I will spend the rest of this life trying to make sure when I leave here it has been accomplished!"

Incredible Woman #2 - Kristin Johnson. Thursday's questions

Kara: "You spent a great deal of time in a foreign country, taking care of your new little daughter. Can you tell us about that time? What was hard about it? How did you get through that? What did your family do while you were gone?

Kris: "August 7th through December 30th 2007: When we received our daughter in Guatemala she was so sick, we talked with the attorney and they told us they could get us a medical visa for her in 8 weeks and get her to the states for the surgery that the doctors there felt she needed. Dave and I prayed alot about what we should do, and after talking to the owner of our agency who was at the hotel for a few weeks, we decided that I would stay there with her and care for her until we could get her home. What started as maybe 8 weeks turned into 5 months, missing 4 of our kids' birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas! Dave was so great and held down the fort at home while I was there. He took care of all of the boys and their needs, put up with alot of problems and alot of stress for months. He talked to me every day and we saw each other on the computer every night and talked for hours. He was able to come down twice to see us for a few days, and we enjoyed that time together and tried to keep each other strong. The fact was, he was worried sick everyday! After spending part of the first three weeks living in a hotel, and the other part in the hospital with Ellie, I moved in with a lady who worked for the attorney there. She had 2 kids and her husband was gone most of the time in the military. She became a very good friend and her family was wonderful. Though they all spoke Spanish, and I did not know any Spanish at all, we were able to make it work. Ellie and I lived in an 8x8 bedroom. I learned to cook differently, wash clothes differently, and to live with cockroaches! I dyed my hair black to blend in more, and spent most of my time alone. It was a hard and lonely time. I was bitten by a mosquito in November, as were the lady I lived with and her son. They were both in the hospital for days before I found out we all had Dengue Fever (kind of like West Nile Virus). I don’t think I have ever been that sick. I was alone and felt so horrible and weak I could hardly pick the baby up to change her. It was all I could do to walk in the kitchen to get bottled water for her bottles. It took about 2 weeks for the rash to clear up- it was horrible, my skin felt burned all over and it was hard to even wear clothes. I was so exhausted and I cried all day because I just wanted to be home with my family and Dave. The exhaustion lasted for months after I came home. I went to the U.S. Embassy the Friday before Christmas for our immigration appointment and had my flight scheduled to leave the next day. The embassy was missing Ellie’s immigration paper and the only place to get it was the office in Utah, which was closed until after Christmas! I walked out of the embassy in tears and called Dave and told him I would miss Christmas, then I called my mom and sister and cried the entire day. Like I've said before, I think there is a reason for everything - I was able to spend the week of Christmas with my friend's family and learn alot of Guatemalan traditions and recipes; I shopped for the kids and my family. I brought more back for Ellie in tradition that I can share with her for the rest of her life, then I would have been able to had I left earlier. When Ellie and I got on the plane and it took off I started to cry, I couldn’t believe we were on our way HOME! It had been years of looking, lots of heartache, months of stress and tears and fear and joy and love, and we would finally be with Dave and the other kids! When we touched down in California and the pilot said “Welcome to the United States of America” I bawled! It was all I could do to get Ellie and all of our stuff through immigration and customs and onto the next plane taking us to Utah! When the plane was over Salt Lake, I looked out the window at the mountains and had never seen anything so beautiful. I still look at those mountains everyday with a reverence, they symbolize “home” to me. The pilot landed and I could not get off the plane fast enough! The excitement and anticipation were killing me! Dave, my dad, and my sister were waiting as I came around the corner, her son Alex was taking pictures! Ellie went right to her daddy with a big smile! Then grandpa and Kara got one too! We hopped on the elevator and when the doors opened at the baggage claim, there stood all of my kids, my mom and Kara’s family waiting with a big banner that read “Welcome home Mom and Ellie!” I think it was possibly the best moment ever for me! After Ellie met her siblings and other family members, we left and went to my parents to celebrate Christmas together- better late than never! It was such an emotional night, and the days that followed were surreal. I know that the only way I got through that time is because of my faith. I prayed everyday that Heavenly Father watched over me and Ellie and watched over my family while I was away, that He made us strong and helped us through this time. I know that there were so many people at home that were also praying for us, and through their faith, as well as our own, Ellie and I made it through. Ellie and I were on one of the last planes to leave with adopted children - the following day the new president was put into office and all adoption processes stopped. There are still, a year and a half later, over 900 children in the process - trying to get home to their families under the old laws. I ache for each of them and pray their families will be blessed to have them home soon. Ellie was tested at the Primary Children’s Hospital here and was fine- no surgery needed! We are SO blessed!"

Kara: "You are a beautiful woman – you look much younger than you are. I know you sell Mary Kay. Can you give us some beauty tips about our skin, makeup, and bodies?"

Kris: "First of all, thanks for the compliment! I must say that most of it is good genes! Thanks Mom! She passed them on to Kara and me both! I do sell Mary Kay, I am not one of those who is out “working the biz”, but I am devoted to the products! I have been using MK skin care for over 20 years! Though the formulas have changed some over the years, I feel they have just gotten better. I wash my face and use the products every morning and night and am grateful I am holding onto some of it, though I do detect some wrinkles around the eyes- I have EARNED every one! I drink alot of water, that is my big thing, at least 6-8 20 oz. water bottles a day. I know that it helps clear out my system, keep my skin clear and helps me lose weight. I am not real happy with my body right now- I have put on a few pounds, but I am working on it and am determined to exercise and get it off. I want to take care of myself so I can grow up with Ellie! It is my responsibility to be here for her and be a fun, active mom even though I started with her at a later age!"

Incredible Woman #2 - Kristin Johnson. Wednesday's questions

Kara: "A few of your boys have recently formed a non-profit organization called the Four of Hearts Foundation. Can you give us an idea of what this is, and what they hope to accomplish? What are your feelings about what the boys are attempting to do?"

Kris: "After we adopted Ellie and I was in Guatemala for so long, I had a chance to see what the children, as well as those in the villages go through - how they live, what they don’t have - knowing this is the life our daughter would have had if she had lived and stayed in Guatemala. I took alot of pictures and brought them home to share with the kids. Our four youngest boys, Blake, Jacob, T.J. and Adam, sat around one night and decide they wanted to make a difference. They decided to start a foundation called the Four of Hearts, in honor of their baby sister! The Four of Hearts foundation is now a registered non-profit organization that has about 15 teenage boys and girls, along with the rest of our family, involved. The foundation is growing every day and we are adding new team members. Some of the team is out raising awareness, some are doing change drives and other fundraisers, and some are working on Eagle Scout projects to benefit the foundation! It is amazing to watch a group of teens in this day and age set aside so much of their time and efforts toward helping others! The goals of the foundation are to raise at least $40,000 by June of 2010, and travel to Guatemala, where they plan to visit a village in Santa Rosa and build a school house and community center! Another project they plan to do is to build several houses in the community. Most of the people in the village live in stick and dirt homes with dirt floors, some are lucky enough to have some wood or tin on the houses to keep weather out. Their hope is that the school and community center will be a safe place of refuge for those families during hurricanes and at other times. They also plan to provide water purification systems for each family for clean water! They have had one shoe drive and gathered over 100 pair of shoes, they have been gathering clothing to take down for the families. The boys have several fundraisers set up and are working on other ideas. They are going to 2 different high schools and hope to set up a competition between the schools to raise money for the foundation. We also received information from an adoption mom I met who has family in Guatemala City - they own a small church and have some needs we are trying to help them with. We had a child’s wheelchair donated to us as well as a walker for a couple of people who go to the church there, and are excited to get those to them soon! The boys who are doing Eagle Scout projects are putting together school bags full of supplies for each child, hygiene kits for the adults and kids, and infant kits for the babies. We are so proud of all of them and pray every day that they will be able to accomplish their goals! If anyone would like more information on their foundation and progress, or would like to help out, check out the website, run by my son Blake!

(Click on the picture to visit Four of Hearts website and donate to the best cause I know)

Kara: "I think sometimes, when we go through trials, or are having problems with kids, or we are just plain tired, we need to “go to our happy place”. Where is your happy place? If you could go there for one whole day, what would you do?"

Kris: "Well… that’s something I don’t dare to dream about! I would love to be sitting in a lounge chair on the beach under a palm tree, the wind slightly blowing and enjoying a cold frozen yogurt and reading my book, while I listen to the waves hit the beach. NICE……awe! I feel better already just thinking about it! Though I LOVE my mountains, the beach is just what I need to relax. Unfortunately there isn’t any place like this in Utah, at least no palm trees, so I will have to settle for my back deck- it will have to suffice!"

Incredible Woman #2 - Kristin Johnson. Tuesday's questions

Kara: "You’ve gone through some trials in your life. Talk about those trials and how you’ve been able to overcome them. What are some important lessons you’ve learned from your trials? Give us some advice about how to handle our trials."

Kris: "Wow- where do I start? My youngest son was born almost 2 months early - he was very sick and we did not know if he would make it. He came home, and about a week later stopped breathing. His little lungs were not strong enough to help him breath when he went into a deep sleep, so they would just stop! He contracted RSV virus 4 times before he was 6 mo. and we were in and out of the hospital several times, sometimes for days, sometimes for a week or two, for the first year of his life. He was on Apnea monitors at home and had breathing treatments around the clock every two hours until he was 18 mo. old. It was so hard to take care of all of his needs and the other 2 boys, too! My middle son fought ear problems for 3 years - 3 sets of tubes, and had his adenoids and tonsils out at age 3. Blake finally started feeling better, T.J. was doing great, and then our oldest son Nathan got sick. He spent 2 days in a coma and the doctors told us he was diabetic. We were devastated. Over the next few years I immersed myself in learning all I could to take care of him- there were shots every day, checking his blood several times, measuring all of his food - all of the boys were on the same diet, it was the only way I could make it work. After a couple of years my husband had had enough I guess, things had been strained between us for a long time, and he moved out after he told me he had been seeing someone else for 2 years. I pretty much felt that my life was gone. I don't think I would have gotten through that time without my sister and parents and a couple of really good friends. I went back to school and within less than a year I had my degree in massage therapy, spinal touch, sports massage, and accutherapy. I loved it! But over the year since my husband had left, my health had become increasingly worse. I could not digest food, I could not use the bathroom and I lost 80 lbs. Though I had a lot of fun in that time of my life with friends, I was fighting a sickness that we could not diagnose. Stupid doctors chalked it up to "depression" due to my divorce. In reality I had a bacterial infection in my intestine that killed the nerve endings of my colon and large intestine- this was diagnosed finally as Colonic Inertia. Shortly after my diagnosis, I met Dave and we became very good friends. We had alot of fun with our kids and enjoyed each other’s company. My health continued to get worse and I was unable to work in massage anymore. Dave and I became closer and fell in love! He is my best friend and we are truly soul mates! (Dave is an RN, so it wasn’t too bad to have my own nurse around either!) As we prepared to get married, Dave was in a custody fight for his children. It was a wonderful and terrible time. By the time we were to be married, our attorney fees had reached $78,000, and we had his 2 oldest kids living with us - his 3 younger kids have been with us half the time ever since. Because of the attorney fees, we ended up filing bankruptcy, losing our vehicles, selling my house and his, both on short sales, and out looking for a place to live with 8 kids! We found a really nice investor, and we leased a home from him for a year in Riverton, and then we were able to buy it! The next winter I finally had the surgery I had put off for 8 years - after a couple of other surgeries caused by the problems and being very ill for years. The doctor removed 8 feet of intestine/colon and reattached my small intestine. I was in bed for about 3 months and very sick - it was horrible. As the past 3 years since my surgery have passed, I have begun to add a few foods to my not so great diet and it is AWESOME to be able to eat fruits and vegetables again! Within a year of moving to Riverton, I was having dreams about this beautiful little girl who was part of our family and waiting for us to find her. When we got Ellie's pictures, we took out a second mortgage on our home with the intention of refinancing the two mortgages. I ended up spending 5 months in Guatemala with the baby before coming home to the crash of the housing market, and last year we moved into a rental, and sold our home for $156,000 less then we owed on it! At the present time, our landlord wants us to buy the house we are renting, or move out by October 1st! I guess we are in for another adventure! Through all of the trials I have faced, I try to stay positive. I am angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, sick, tired and just plain DONE some days. But, I know that my children deserve more - they deserve a happy mom, and they deserve to laugh and be happy and not have a life full of stress. I think I deserve that too- so, I complain to my sounding boards- again my sister and my parents, and especially Dave, but then I plaster on a smile, remember there is ALWAYS someone who has things alot worse than I do, and how grateful I am for the life I do have! I have learned that it is important just to MOVE ON, don't just sit down and give in to defeat, know there is something more waiting for you! It may not be what you dream of or hope for, but it is waiting for you still the same! I have learned it doesn't matter so much what you want, but what you have already. Hang on to those around you and love them fiercely, and Heavenly Father will provide! Every challenge we face makes us a stronger person, every mistake we make teaches us what to tell our children NOT to do and why, and makes us feel more compassion for those around us. Never stop dreaming, wishing and hoping, but live in the moment and enjoy it as much as you can! And most of all LEAN - lean on the One who holds us all up, pray every day for strength, and know that He is there holding you up and has a plan for you! Have faith that you are here for many reasons, and the lives you touch each day will be changed because of you. Put your best foot forward each day and hang in there by your fingernails and teeth no matter what! :)"

Kara: "You were, at one point, a single mom, taking care of 3 young kids by yourself. Then, you met Dave and got married and had a combined family, with 8 kids. Finally, when your youngest was 11, you and your husband adopted a 4-month old baby. How did your mothering/parenting skills change throughout the years? Can you tell us something good about each of those times in your life?"

Kris: "Life as a single mom, in one word, was HARD! I respect every single mom out there. Most of them do it because they have to, some choose to, but no matter why they are single they are awesome! When I was single with 3 boys I tried to set my feelings aside and not show them around my kids. I was living for them, plain and simple! I was working full time, going to school and raising three rambunctious boys! It was a crazy time in my life, but one that made me stronger, one that made me get to know each of my boys better- as well as myself, and what I wanted and deserved in life, and one that I will never regret. I am a better person because of that time in my life. When Dave's kids came along, I felt like I had joined the army! Cooking for 10 people is alot different then cooking for me and 3 small boys! It was crazy! I had to have more patience, to laugh more, to tell myself to stay calm, but in those early years the kids made it easy, it was like having a week-long slumber party every time we had them all at home! We had alot of fun and tried to focus on that! As the kids have grown and the past ten years have flown by, I feel that I am in a different place all together. I am becoming friends with my older kids- well all of them really- and I have to tell myself each day that this too will pass! LOL! They are infuriating at times- like when the police call at 4:00 a.m. because they are out doorbell ditching, they are yelling in your face that they HATE YOU because you have rules and they don't think they should have rules, or they act as though there is something growing out of your head when you are talking to them! Yes, I yell sometimes, I stomp my feet and slam doors and wish I wasn't a mom, and then I calm down and realize how truly blessed I am, and we start all over again. I have to remind myself I am the adult, I am the example and no matter how hurt or angry I am, I have to teach them to get their feelings under control and move forward with love no matter what. Ellie has changed me alot- boy it is alot different having a 2 year old at 40 then it was at 20! I wear out easier, I lose patience, but I laugh more than I ever did when my other kids were little. I am optimistic and hopeful, and I look forward to growing up with her! I have learned from being a mom of little ones years ago how to deal with alot and I think Ellie will benefit from that. I am a better parent to her than I was to the other kids I think, practice makes perfect I guess, though I am FAR from perfect! Remind yourself daily!: Parenting is a huge adventure, hold on and enjoy the ride!"

Incredible Woman #2 - Kristin Johnson. Monday's questions

Kara: "Tell me a little bit about yourself. Talk about what you do to have fun. What makes you happy? What makes you an “Incredible Woman”?"

Kris: "Ok, so I guess I will admit it, since there is really no going back! I turned 40 in June. I have joined the ranks! Actually I don't mind so much, I finally feel like I am a grownup, I guess! I love to read and crochet, to paint and make jewelry, though I don't find enough time to do any of it lately! I love to cook and garden. Wow, I really sound 40 don't I?!! I would love to say I still go dancing every weekend and rock climbing on occasion, but those things seem to be put to rest! I love to take pictures, and my kids make fun of me all the time - at least they have grown up with it, and are used to it! I just don't want to forget anything! Pictures tell a story and remind us of the fun things we have done as a family. Memories are sweet, but the pictures bring those memories back so clearly. I have many times been looking at pictures of one of our outings or vacations and the boys will start telling stories they remember about it too - it is so fun to remember and laugh with them about the fun times we have had! I think the best part is when they 'fess up to what they were doing that I didn't know about at the time! Funny that they are all so worried about getting in trouble at the time for things, but if it’s been a year or two they spill their stories and I just sit there with my mouth hanging open! I think when I hear their stories, it is a wonder that the boys are all still walking- heck, it’s a wonder they are all still alive!"


Kara: "You have a wonderful family – all 9 of them. Tell me about them. Can you share something special you love about each one of your children?"

Kris: "Dave and I do have 9 kids. Dave had 4 boys and a girl, and I had 3 boys, when we were married! They are now 13-24 years old! 2 years ago, exactly at this time, we were handed our baby girl in Guatemala! Dave's oldest son Matt (24), married Angie in May of this year. They live in Kearns and he works for Discover and she works for Dress Barn. One of Matt's loves is martial arts, and he is working toward his black belt. When Matt is loyal to someone or something, he is fiercely loyal and does not back down from what he believes is right. Dave's daughter, Stacy (22), was my only daughter until 2 years ago. I must say in a house full of 7 boys, she was refreshing to have around! Though at 100 lbs., she can hold her own against any of them! Stacy has worked very hard for years and at 22 she is a nurse! She moved back home after school this spring and it is amazing to see what a beautiful woman she is becoming! She recently got a job as a director of nursing at an assisted living/retirement community. We are so proud of her! She is very spiritual, and I learn from her example every day! Stacy is dating Jonathan Crosland - we love him. He is good for her, and a really nice person, responsible and loving with her! My oldest son, Nathan (19), married his sweetheart, Haley, a couple weeks ago! We are so proud of them! Nate is working at Costco and Haley is the secretary for the fire department. They are both such hard workers! Nate and Haley have a beautiful red-headed, blue-eyed daughter named Cambria! She is 18 months old and she is so fun! Cambria is our first grandbaby! I am so proud of Nate and the man he is becoming! He has had many trials in his life - he was diagnosed at age 5 with diabetes and has had a long fight with that, he became a father at 17 and has grown up fast, he has always been strong and such a good person!! Dave’s second son, Danny (18), graduated from high school this year! He is very smart and loves to learn. He has been in ROTC and plans to go to college and then join the army. The army will be his career while he is in school and he hopes to major in History and eventually teach Military History. Danny is funny and makes us laugh when he is around; he is quieter than the other boys to some extent- though he wasn't that way when they were young! My second son, Blake, is 17 going on 30, I think. He is impatient for life to just get here. He has an entrepreneurial spirit, and I think he will own his own businesses. He started a T-shirt business his sophomore year, and has now put all of his efforts into the foundation he and his brothers started (The Four of Hearts Foundation), and is the president. He will graduate early this year and plans to immerse himself in the foundation and help other people. Blake has a good heart and loves children - he is so independent he is infuriating at times, but I do love him and his ambition. Dave's third son, Jacob (15 1/2) has recently moved in with us for good. It is a good change for him and he is looking forward to going to high school here. Jacob is so funny and keeps us laughing alot. He dyed his hair black last year, and wears skinny pants, and we just roll our eyes and he laughs. He has a great smile that gets to you. Jake will be in 10th grade and is a typical teenage boy excited about dating, cars, etc! My youngest son T.J. is also 15 1/2 and starting high school this year. T.J. had a rough start in life; he was my preemie baby. Now he is bigger than both of his big brothers! T.J. loves sports - playing basketball is his passion but he also loves football and is up on all the baseball and other sports teams. He is often found watching sports center and can tell you about almost any player! T.J. has such a sweet spirit about him, he is kind-hearted and loving, and I think he is going to be a big teddy bear when he is grown! I love being around him, he is funny and charismatic and it seems he is everyone's friend! T.J. and Jacob were best little friends in preschool where Dave and I met! They are both so excited that they get to go to high school together and they are like two peas in a pod. Though they have different likes and dislikes, they could hang out all day everyday together and be happy! Adam is Dave's youngest son and is 13 now. He is a funny kid and he loves hanging out with all of his older brothers. He is also quiet at times and is content to lie in his room and watch movies. He has a great imagination and can weave quite the tale! Any story told by the other boys is about 3 times as long when Adam tells it! I think Adam should write books for kids one day! He is also a great artist; he loves to draw and is so creative! Adam has always been the "baby" and it is hard to believe he is a teenager now! He is going to be in 8th grade this year! Ellie is now 2 1/2 - she is our princess! Now, I never planned to have another child at this point, but she kept coming to me in dreams and pestering me to find her! It took us over 2 years and 5 failed adoption attempts before we got her picture and there was no doubt in my mind, or Dave's, that she was ours! The first time we held her I thought my heart would burst! She was beautiful! She was also very sick, and we were told she would have died within a week if we had not come to Guatemala when we did. She has come so far from that first moment that I held her! She is beautiful, healthy, and such a huge blessing in our lives! I am so grateful to Heavenly Father for leading us to her and allowing us to bring her into our family! Ellie is so smart and we are shocked each day when she talks to us like she is 10 years old instead of 2! She is funny and she makes us laugh all day, she is full of personality and I feel we are in for quite the adventure! We have a wonderful bunch of kids - I always wanted a big family and was so sad when I could not have more kids after T.J. I guess Heavenly Father knew what I had in store, and that I would get 6 more kids in the next years! I can't wait to see them all grow up and see what they are going to accomplish in their lives!"

A New Incredible Woman - Coming Monday

I'm pleased to announce, Incredible Woman #2, Kristin Johnson, will be featured this coming week on the blog. Kris is a wonderful mom of 9 - her youngest child was adopted from Guatemala 2 years ago, a teacher for Project Reality, the chief financial officer for the non-profit organization - Four of Hearts Foundation, a former massage therapist and preschool teacher, captain of The Beauty Remains - a Relay For Life cancer walk team, a Cherish Bound and Mary Kay consultant. She has had so many titles, and worn so many different hats. I can't wait to introduce her to you! Come back to visit!

Thank You Janie!

Thanks goes to Janie for sharing herself with us. Before I did this interview, here's what I knew about Janie: Her son, Brandon, died a few years ago. (My son, Grant, did a few Muscular Dystrophy walks with Brandon - one of the Squire's Squadron!) Her husband owns a few Big-O tires franchises. (My car has undergone surgery there.) She is the Relief Society President in my ward. (President of the women's organization in our church - a big job!) She had breast cancer a year before I did. (She was such a tremendous help to me as I fought the beast.) I've learned many more things about Janie throughout this week. Here are just a few things I've learned: Her husband doesn't like cheese and butter - just like mine! She walks ALOT! She's met many famous people. She served at the MTC (something I've always wanted to do!) She loves to read - just like me! Hey, we should be BFFs!

But seriously, I've learned some great lessons from Jamie. She is kind and funny. She never seems to forget what you are going through, and is always there to help. Amazing. Like you, I've been taught this week, too... Sacrifice! Invest your time and energy if you want to succeed! There is always a light at the end of the tunnel! Help and serve others! Take one day at a time throughout your trials! Don't judge others! Enjoy each day of your life! I could go on and on. Thank you so much, Janie, for being so open and talking about yourself. My life has been enriched by getting to know you.

If anyone wants to contact Janie to ask additional questions, or get advice, email me at kara.incrediblewomen(at)gmail.com. I'll be happy to forward any questions to her. If you'd like to review all of Janie's "favorites" and "advice" from the sidebar, just go to Archives and click on each label, and that will take you to those separate pages.

This blog will be changing today and tomorrow, and we'll be featuring a new Incredible Woman on Monday. If you want to suggest some of the women you know to be featured on Incredible Women, shoot me an email. Please leave email addresses or phone numbers so that I can get in touch with the women you suggest.

Until next week... Take care.

Incredible Woman #1 - Janie Squire. Friday's questions

Kara: "Do you think you've been successful as a mom? You have a beautiful daughter - what advice would you give her about life?"
Janie: "I feel like I have been a successful mom. I feel that I have helped raise my kids in a manner that has allowed them to feel how profound my love is for them, and that they can accomplish what they set their hearts and minds to. One of the most important things I wanted for my children to know and understand is this: that they are children of a Heavenly Father who loves them; that they are here to learn, experience life, help others, and that their ultimate goal should be to live their lives in a way that allows them to return to Heavenly Father some day.

Some of the advice I have given to Cydnee about life is this: She should respect others and herself. That she should expect young men to treat her with kindness and respect. She deserves to be treated with that, and she should not settle for less. Life is not a smooth ride. We will have yield signs, potholes, and curves along the way, but we will never have a "dead end" sign. There is no such thing. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter what construction detours we have to face. Enjoy the ride!"

Kara: What do you think is the single most important thing your can accomplish in this life?"
Janie: "If I can accomplish success in showing others that we can persevere in whatever storms we have to go through, then I could leave this life knowing that I have helped someone else gain some of the courage they needed to weather their storms."

Incredible Woman #1 - Janie Squire. Thursday's questions

Kara: "What do you aspire to be? How will you get there? Talk about the short-term and long-term goals you have. Have you achieved some of your goals - how?"
Janie: "That is a difficult question. I aspired to be a school teacher when I was younger, and I was fortunate enough to do that for 18 years. I kept that goal within my sight even after I got married. We had a difficult time getting our family started, so teaching fulfilled my needs as far as being around children, and provided benefits we needed as newlyweds. Now my goal is to be the best mom that I can be to my daughter, and in the future, to be a fun grandma!! But WAY in the future!! I want to continue doing indexing for Family Search and someday soon get started on family geneology. I would love to travel into parts of Mexico and Spain to look for ancestors' grave sites. I also want to start visiting as many LDS temples located in different places in the United States. Dennis and I plan to take up golfing in order to spend time with each other and fill the void of a daughter that is moving out to go to college. (What is that all about? We don't live that far from Provo!)"

Kara: "You and your husband have a successful business (Big O Tires). Is it difficult owning your own business? How have you become successful? Any advice for women who want to own their own businesses?"
Janie: "We worked and sacrificed for 20 years in order for us to buy our first business! Twenty years, yes. That is a long time. You have to be willing to be a single parent for a great portion of the time in order to get things off the ground and running! I drove to Texas and back several times with my kids and no Dennis, because he was working. He bought old beater cars, repaired, restored, and sold them in order to set money aside for buying our first home and buying our first business! There were times when we wondered where we would get money for groceries, but it always showed up. He has been a dedicated employee in the past, and learned how to work hard from previous employers. Now we are able to enjoy the business, help others, and travel.

Advice on getting a business started for women? Well, I would suggest picking something that would benefit a lot of individuals, and something that perhaps is a bit extraordinary. Then, go for it! Be willing to invest time and energy into achieving that goal of having that business belong to you."

Visit tomorrow to read Janie's final 2 questions/answers. Pass the word along about Incredible Women!

Incredible Woman #1 - Janie Squire. Wednesday's questions

Kara: "Tell me about some service you've performed. How did it change you? How can we find ways to serve?"
Janie: "Serving my son for 19 years as his caregiver gave me an outlook on life that you couldn't learn from reading a book. He could not do the simple things that we are able to do, like tie your shoe, scratch your nose, etc. I learned how precious it is to have your muscles working properly. He served as Junior Ambassador for the Muscular Dystrophy Association for two years. He spoke at different events and I was fortunate enough to drive him to these functions and listen to his message. We were able to meet so many wonderful people because of this. It helped mold me into who I am today. After he passed away, I voluntarily served at the LDS Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah for two years. He had been planning to serve a mission there for our church, and of course was not able to, so I figured that I could do it for him. I was a Spanish translator for the Spanish-speaking missionaries and was able to meet so many wonderful young men and young women. It was so fulfilling to help them adjust to a new country, new foods, a new language - a new journey in their lives.

There are so many opportunities to serve. Look around. I promise that someone around the corner needs some service in one way or another. Invite a widow or widower to dinner, watch someone's child for an hour or two to give them a break, call someone that you have been "thinking" about. Most importantly: act upon when prompted upon to serve.

Kara: "If you had a full day to do anything you wanted, how would you spend it? What do you do to relax? Do you have any beauty secrets you can share with us?"
Janie: "A full day??!! What's that?!! Seriously, I would get a massage, a pedicure, get my hair done, go to a makeup counter and have someone do my makeup, then I would have Dennis take me to a fancy dinner!! AHHHHH!!! That would be the ultimate! A day filled with pampering just ME!! Oh, wait!! I'd go get a new outfit to wear!!!

I love to read "make you feel good" books - ones with happy endings, while sitting on my back deck with the water feature bubbling away, thus making me feel like I'm by a brook up in the mountains somewhere.

Beauty secrets? THAT makes me laugh! I don't know, seriously. I think laughing and having a great sense of humor makes us beautiful and feel younger. Well, maybe one thing that I have faithfully done since I was young is wash my makeup off each night, no matter how tired I may be. Always. Always. Then, follow up with moisturizer. I had a teacher in Junior High tell us that if we did that, it would help our skin not age so quickly. I guess that's why I've tried to be diligent about my skin. She was a pretty teacher."

Incredible Woman #1 - Janie Squire. Tuesday's questions

Kara: "Every person has to go through trials. I believe that HOW you handle your trials is important, not only to yourself, but to those around you. I know you've had some trials in your life. If you can, tell me about them. Which has been the hardest?"
Janie: "There have been a couple of trials in my life. The first one began with Brandon's diagnosis of Duchenne Muscular Dystropy. He was three when he was diagnosed. At the moment, your whole world comes to a stop. You want everyone to stop with you, but unfortunately as you look around, the world keeps moving with everyone on board. We have to decide to jump on board or refuse the ride. We all have jumped on board and taken the ride - haven't we? It was so difficult knowing that the beautiful, brown-eyed, brown-haired little boy was not as healthy as he looked. I knew as a mother, what things he was facing. It was difficult trying to keep things in perspective. "O.k., he will eventually be in a wheelchair, but let's take it one step at a time. We will cross that bridge when we get to it." That had to be my motto, otherwise it would have been too difficult to handle. When he lost his battle with this disease, and left our side, it felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't fathom my world continuing without my son, even though I knew that someday this would happen. It didn't make it any easier! I had lost the one that gave me so much joy, the one that could make me smile in an instant. It did feel like my world had ended for a time. I had been so accustomed to having my life revolve around him and his needs. I didn't know what I was going to do with myself. I did the every day things around the house, but I was lost without him here, needing me to get a drink for him, or brush his teeth, or comb his hair. I was lost for a while. That was in March 2003. Then, in June of 2007, I was faced with my own personal trial of breast cancer. That takes the wind out of your sails as well! I truly was surprised at the diagnosis. It doesn't run in my family, etc., etc. But, I think the fact that there was another trial to go through was a bit overwhelming. I didn't think "Well, the Lord has put me through the most ultimate test of losing a child, certainly He wouldn't give me another major trial", but when all of the tests started coming back positive, it was a bit surreal.

(I'm updating this post with this picture that Janie just sent - she says that a little neighbor boy, Zane, wanted to try on her wig. Have I mentioned how brave I think Janie is? I don't think I even have a picture of my head completely bald. Look how absolutely gorgeous she is!)

The trial that was the most difficult was definitely losing my son. No parent should have to bury a child. It isn't the natural course of life. Children should outlive their parents."


Kara: "How did you get through these trials? Can you give us some advice on tackling our own trials? What are some important lessons you've learned from your trials?"
Janie: "Advice on tackling trials... take it one day at a time. Cross those bridges that you have to cross as they come. Don't think about what will be happening in a week, a month, a year, 5 years, etc. Rely on the Lord to give you strength and remember what He had to endure in the Garden of Gethsemane. Keeping that in mind, truly helps you face your trials. I've learned that no one is immune from trials. We are here to learn, experience, and grow. What we do with these trials is our choice. What we learn is up to us. How we help others with their trials is also up to us, but if we choose to be of service, then think of how much richer our lives could be!

I have learned to not judge others. I have learned that some people have disabilities that are seen and some have disabilities that are not seen. We can't know what each person is going through just by what seems to be so apparent. I have learned to be patient. I have learned to enjoy each day of my life and not take it for granted. You never know when it is your last day."

Kara: I'd like to thank Janie for the answers to today's questions. I know they were difficult to talk about and I appreciate her candor. Janie has the most incredible statue in her front yard. It is of Brandon's wheelchair. Cydnee, her daughter, is holding on to the back and is flying, and Brandon is flying out of the front of it. Here are two pictures of the statue, with Janie's description (make sure to click on each picture to see them close up - they are amazing!)...


"This statue represents Brandon's new journey. He is no longer confined to a wheelchair and is "on his way" to begin this journey. He is looking back to his little sister, smiling and saying "Don't worry about me! I will be just fine! So will you!" Cydnee could be found on the back of Brandon's wheelchair going for rides with him around the neighborhood. Her ponytail would fly in the wind and she would hang on for all she was worth! It was such a beautiful sight to see! Dennis Smith, famous sculptor from Alpine, was able to capture both of them so perfectly. We unveiled the statue on Brandon's one year anniversary. It gives us so much comfort and joy. The statue is a wonderful reminder to us of how life doesn't end here. We believe in eternal life and that if we live our lives in righteousness, we will be together as a family forever. We look forward to seeing Brandon again. He will no longer have an imperfect body, but a healthy body and we will see him standing and walking. What a glorious day that will be!"

How touching, Janie. Thanks for sharing that with us!

Tomorrow we'll be learning what Janie's thoughts are on service, and what she'd do with a full day to herself!

Incredible Woman #1 - Janie Squire. Monday's questions

Janie Squire is one of my neighbors and a good friend. She helped me through an awfully hard time in my life this last year (during my fight with breast cancer). I've always wanted to get to know Janie a bit more - I know you'll love her, too! Here are the first two questions I asked Janie...

Kara: "Janie, tell me a little bit about yourself... what are your hobbies, talents, beliefs, etc.?"
Janie: "I am 52 years old. I just had that wonderful birthday in June! I love to read, go for long walks, spend time with family, cooking, and traveling!! Beliefs... "I believe that we are here for a purpose. That we were sent here to learn, grow and help others. I believe that each of us has a guardian angel that is assigned to us - mine is my son, Brandon, who left this early world in 2003."

Kara: "What makes you an "Incredible Woman"?"
Janie: "Ooooo.... I don't even think I fall under this category! I think that the trials that I have had to face in this life have shaped and molded me into who I am today. My experiences allow me to have the empathy necessary to help others that perhaps are going through similar things."

Kara: "You have a beautiful family. Tell me about them. Describe a typical day. What are some of the fun things you've done as a family?"
Janie: "My sweet family... I've been married to Dennis for 30 years!!! Time has flown by!! We met BRIEFLY while he was serving in the Texas San Antonio Mission. His love for the little ones in the ward was quite evident and that caught my attention. But, that's all really. I was attending Pan American University in Edinburg, TX, which is about 300 miles from my home town. After I was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I moved back home. My brother and mother got us writing. ANYWAY... here we are. Brandon is our oldest. He is 25 years old. He was 19 when he lost his battle with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. We know that he is happy and that his body is no longer plagued with such a debilitating illness. This disease is a degenerative muscle disease. Over time, you lose muscle mass, which culminates in losing muscle strength and complete usage of your muscles. He will always be a part of our lives. Even though we can't see him here, I know that he isn't far away. He is a handsome, brown-eyed, cheerful young man. I miss him so much, yet am comforted in knowing that someday, we will see him on the other side and that he will be standing there ready to greet us and hug us. Cydnee is our baby. She is 18, but closely approaching her 19th birthday. She graduated with honors from Lone Peak High School and will be attending Brigham Young University in the fall. She has been through so many things that a lot of kids her age have never experienced. She learned how to be her brother's arms and legs. Cydnee was able to learn so much about accepting people with disabilities because of Brandon. She is a beautiful young lady that has goals in life and will achieve them because of her determination. Love my kids!!

A typical day for us is pretty average for a little family. Dennis gets up at "o-dark thirty" to exercise EVERY DAY (except Sunday). He runs at least 7 miles, 4 times a week and does weight training on two days. He is so dedicated to staying fit and healthy. I'm super glad that he is taking care of himself, but sometimes it is a bit frustrating when I want to cook things that have lots of cheese and butter... and don't, because I know that he will just have one serving - that is an indication to me of "don't cook it again". He doesn't SAY that, but I know he is thinking it!! Cydnee is doing her externship as Medical Assistant right now at the AF Clinic, so she is up at 7:00 am. Sometimes we meet for lunch, which I love, or sometimes she comes home for lunch. She doesn't get home until 5:30 or 6:00 pm. I get up about 7:30 or 8:00. I read my scriptures or an Ensign article and say my morning prayers. I try and get the spiritual "workout" first. Then I go walking with one of my friends, whether it be Adrienne Peterson or Natalie Grant. We walk for about 4 miles, at least 3 or 4 times a week. I come home and get ready for the day. Sometimes I index, work on my church calling responsibilities, help my niece with her little ones, run errands for the family, work on photo projects, go outside and trim some rose bushes, etc. At the end of the day, our family reunites for dinner. My favorite part of the day is dinnertime because of the togetherness, and bedtime prayer for the same reason. We gather around Brandon's bed and have prayer there. We feel close to him in his room, so we have chosen to have family prayer there."

Fun things as a family: "We love to go "jeeping" in the Jeep. We drive up the mountain and explore trails as we go. Sometimes Dennis gets a bit too adventurous, but we come back in one piece! Due to Brandon's illness, we never invested in play toys such as boats or ATVs, so we did a lot of traveling instead, to places that were accessible to him. My favorite memories are of helping Brandon realize his dreams. He wanted to meet the cast of Full House, so through Make A Wish, we were able to go as a family to do that. It was so exciting meeting Mary Kate Olsen and John Stamos! We headed to Disneyland after that. He also wanted to watch Steve Young play in the NFL, so we drove to San Francisco to witness a win of the 49ers over the Cincinnati Bengals! We have met and mingled with Karl Malone, Jeff Hornacek, the Jazz Bear, Frank Layden, Senator Orrin Hatch, Governor Mike Leavitt, Thurl Bailey, and on and on. All because of a persistent and charismatic young man! We still love to travel and are enjoying creating memories with Cydnee."

Return tomorrow, when questions/answers 3 and 4 will be posted!

One More Day...

If you're visiting this blog today, you're just one day early. Tomorrow morning is the official launch of the Incredible Women blog. Join us tomorrow as we start our feature on Incredible Woman #1 - Janie Squire. Janie is a breast cancer survivor and she and her husband are business owners. She has a beautiful family and lots of great advice for readers. So, come back tomorrow (and each day afterward) to meet Janie. Explore the blog to find lots of fun favorites and links to some helpful sights. Enjoy the music, look through the pictures. Have fun!! See ya'll tomorrow.

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Does it work? Let's find out... Great! It does!

Stay Tuned...

I'm excited to announce that on Monday, August 10, 2009, this blog will feature it's first "Incredible Woman", Janie Squire. Each day's blog post will have 2 questions and answers (Monday-Friday). The side bar will be full of advice, recipes, books, music, etc. - all Janie's favorites. These will change daily as well. I can't wait to introduce you to Janie! Check back on Monday.

To Contact Kara at Incredible Women

Email: kara.incrediblewomen@gmail.com

Twitter: @KaraHerron

In the near future, we'll have a facebook page for Incredible Women. When that happens, the information will be posted here.

Thanks, and I look forward to hearing from you!

-Kara

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About Incredible Women

One day, as I was surfing the internet, I came across a site featuring celebrity moms. Interesting. So, I looked through the site, thinking it would have some fun pictures, maybe some advice, etc. But, no, it just had silly things like what each celebrity was wearing, who she was dating (?!), where she was eating - you get the picture. It was disappointing that a big deal was being made about such ridiculous things. I began to reflect upon the women I know and realized that they are the real celebrities. They have raised great kids, conquered fears, prevailed through trials, and are beautiful, kind, giving women. Why not have a blog that features them? So, here it is - Incredible Women - a blog devoted to women who live quietly, but are doing outstanding things. I know you'll enjoy them as much as I do!